The
Wonder Years - Transcript
Episode 9: "Christmas"
Written
by Bob Brush
OPENING
SEQUENCE
[Shot
of a color-TV screen. Cher and Glen Campbell are singing "Silent
Night".]
NARRATOR: That Christmas of nineteen-sixty-eight my brother, Wayne, and I
fell in love.
[Shot
of Kevin and Wayne looking into the camera, awestruck. Shot of the TV. Cher and
Glen Campbell are singing.]
NARRATOR: With color-TV.
[The
color tint changes on the TV.]
NARRATOR: It was more than love.
[Shot
of Kevin and Wayne from the TV's perspective, as Wayne fiddles with the color
knob.]
NARRATOR: We were witnessing a modern miracle.
[Shot
of the TV. Cher and Glen Campbell are singing.]
NARRATOR: And we worshipped it like aborigines...
[Shot
of Kevin and Wayne from the TV's perspective.]
NARRATOR: From the black-and-white stone-age. It was the first thing we ever
agreed on.
KEVIN: Cool.
WAYNE: Boss.
[Norma
and Karen approach behind them, and look toward the TV.]
NARRATOR: Even Mom and Karen tended to mist up...
[Shot
of the TV screen. Cher and Glen Campbell are singing.]
NARRATOR: In the presence of that almost-living color.
SALESMAN
[V/O]: Hello, can I help you?
[Shot
of a saleman joining the Arnold's.]
NORMA: Oh...!
[Kevin
and Wayne look over their shoulders.]
NARRATOR: Yeah.
[Wayne
and Kevin turn back to the TV and Kevin smiles.]
NARRATOR: Load a dozen of these babies into the car - and make it snappy.
[Kevin
and Wayne glance toward Norma, as she frowns and glances at the salesman.]
NORMA: Well...
NARRATOR: Unfortunately, there was...one very small, very minor, hitch.
[Kevin
and Wayne look at Norma.]
NORMA: You'd really have to...talk to my husband.
EXT. DAY - CHRISTMAS TREE LOT
[Shot
past the tree salesman of Jack. "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" plays
in the background.]
JACK: You gotta be joking - eight bucks for a crummy little stick like
this?
[Shot
past Jack of the salesman.]
SALESMAN: Buck-a-foot...
[Shot
past the salesman of Jack.]
JACK: That's highway robbery.
[Jack
frowns and reaches for his wallet.]
NARRATOR: Not that my father was Scrooge.
[Close
shot of Kevin glancing around.]
NARRATOR: It's just that...every year around this time, he - he'd go into
kind of a...slump.
[Close
shot of Jack.]
JACK: Next year we're gonna skip the damn tree.
[Shot
of Wayne and Kevin. Wayne is frowning with his arms crossed, as Kevin glances
at him.]
NARRATOR: It was a bad time to be hittin' him up for a major appliance.
[Shot
of Wayne, Kevin, the salesman and Jack, as Jack picks up the tree. The camera
pans as Jack walks away, and Kevin hurries after him.]
NARRATOR: Still, in an emergency, there were ways to the big guy's heart.
[Close
shot of Kevin grabbing the tree.]
KEVIN: Here, let me help you with that, Dad.
[Kevin
and Jack continue to walk with the tree.]
NARRATOR: You had to kill him with kindness...drown him in good-will.
[Wider
shot as they approach the car, and Jack lifts the tree onto the roof.]
KEVIN: Hey, I got it!
[Kevin
reaches into the car, gets some twine, and hands it to Jack.]
NARRATOR: All the while, sending him very specific, psychic messages.
[Close
shot of Kevin frowning, looking at Jack off-screen.]
KEVIN: TV, TV, TV, TV, TV, TV...
[Close
shot of Jack glancing over his shoulder toward Kevin off-screen.]
JACK: You OK?
[Close
shot of Kevin as he shrugs.]
KEVIN: Sure! Why?
[Close
shot of Jack.]
JACK: Looks like you got a headache.
[Close
shot of Kevin as he looks off.]
NARRATOR: Of course, you didn't want to tip your hand.
[Close
shot of Jack turning back to the car.]
NARRATOR: This was a delicate procedure...
[Shot
of Kevin as Wayne approaches and stands next to him.]
NARRATOR: That required the touch...
WAYNE: So, Dad. You gonna buy us that color TV, or not?
[Kevin
looks down.]
NARRATOR: Of a sledgehammer.
[Close
shot of Jack frowning over his shoulder, as he ties the tree.]
JACK: What TV?
[Shot
of Kevin and Wayne as they glance at each other.]
WAYNE: He didn't tell you?
KEVIN: Uh...
[Close
shot of Jack frowning over his shoulder as he ties the tree.]
JACK: What do we need a color TV for?
[Shot
of Kevin and Wayne as Kevin shrugs.]
KEVIN: So you can watch things. In color!
[Close
shot of Jack.]
JACK: Watch what?
WAYNE: Bonanza!
KEVIN: Baseball! [Shrugs.]
Football!
[Closer
shot of Kevin.]
KEVIN: Uh...[Shrugs]...baseball!
[Close
shot of Jack.]
JACK: TV's cost money, kids.
[Close
shot of Kevin frowning and glancing down.]
NARRATOR: Uh-oh.
JACK
[V/O]: And money doesn't grow on trees.
[Close
shot of Jack as he starts to walk around the car.]
JACK: Ya know that.
[Close
shot of Kevin sighing and glancing around.]
NARRATOR: Yeah. We did know that. If there was one thing we knew, it was
that money doesn't grow on trees.
[Close
shot of Jack as he reaches for the door-handle.]
JACK: Come on, get in!
[Close
shot of Kevin in thought.]
NARRATOR: Still, he hadn't specifically said "no".
[Kevin
smiles and shrugs, then starts toward the car.]
[Shot
across the car hood as Kevin and Wayne get in.]
NARRATOR: So there was still hope.
[Close
shot through the windshield as Kevin settles in the back seat.]
NARRATOR: After all Christmas was a time when impossible dreams came true.
When the Grinch turned good. So just maybe...
[Wide
shot of the car, and trees in the background, as Jack pulls away.]
JACK: "Buck-a-foot"...you believe that? Highway robbery...
NARRATOR: Or, maybe not.
FRENCH CLASS
[Very
close shot of the clock. The minute hand moves.]
[Close
shot of Kevin sitting at his desk, looking at the clock off-screen.]
NARRATOR: Few things are less productive than the last ten minutes of school
before a major holiday.
[Shot
from the rear of the class room up the aisle, of the teacher leaning against
her desk.]
MRS.
GAMBINO: Maintenant, tournez a page
soixante-cinq, s'il vous plait.
[Close
shot of Kevin looking toward the clock.]
[Close
shot of the teacher.]
MRS.
GAMBINO: Allons, Guillaume?
[Close
shot of Kevin turning forward, then glancing toward Paul off-screen.]
[Close
shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.]
[Close
shot of Kevin.]
KEVIN: Uh...je pense que, um, le...
[Kevin
glances toward the clock.]
[Very
close shot of the clock. The minute hand moves backwards.]
[Wider
shot of the students from the front of the classroom. They look toward the
clock as it clicks loudly.]
[Close
shot of the teacher looking toward the clock off-screen, then turning back to
the class.]
MRS.
GAMBINO: Oh, well...joyeux noel, everyone.
HALLWAY
[Shot
of the empty hallway. Kids disgorge into the hallway as the bell rings.]
[Low
shot through the legs of the students hurrying through the hallway, making a
lot of noise, and dropping crumpled papers.]
[Close
shot of Kevin and Paul walking up the hallway. The camera rolls back with
them.]
KEVIN: I mean on average.
PAUL: Counting socks and underwear?
[Kevin
gestures.]
KEVIN: Total annual tonnage.
PAUL: See, well, I thought we were talking quality, not quantity.
KEVIN: Oh, come on, Paul. [Shrugs.]
I mean, you get Hanukkah presents every day for a week.
NARRATOR: Paul and I had a standing argument over who made out better on the
holidays. Paul's lasted eight days which I thought gave him the edge.
PAUL: Well, let's see. [Gestures.]
I'll give you an example.
[The
camera pans as they pass it.]
PAUL: What's the one thing you really want for Christmas?
KEVIN: What's that got to do with it?
[They
stop at Paul's locker.]
PAUL: Just answer the question!
[Close
shot of Kevin turning around, and looking down the hallway, as Paul opens his
locker.]
NARRATOR: What did I want? What would make things absolutely perfect?
[Slow-motion
shot of Winnie approaching with a group of friends. "Winnie's Theme"
plays. Winnie smiles and tosses her hair, and smiles at a friend.]
[Close
shot of Kevin smiling.]
[Close
shot of Winnie in slow-motion, smiling.]
[Wide
slow-motion shot as Kirk joins Winnie and take her hand. The music grinds
down.]
[Close
shot of Kevin frowning, as Paul slams his locker shut.]
[The
camera pans to include Paul as Kevin shrugs and turns toward him.]
KEVIN: A TV. I guess I want a color-TV.
[Shot
of Winnie as she approaches, smiling, behind Kevin.]
WINNIE: Kevin?
[Kevin
turns around.]
[Shot
past Winnie of Kevin as he smiles.]
[Shot
past Kevin of Winnie smiling.]
NARRATOR: She was alone. She was wearing perfume.
[Shot
past Winnie of Kevin.]
KEVIN: Hi...
[Shot
past Kevin of Winnie smiling.]
WINNIE: Hi!
[She
holds up a small white box with red ribbon.]
WINNIE: I wanted to give you this.
[Shot
past Winnie of Kevin.]
KEVIN: What is it?
[Shot
past Kevin of Winnie.]
WINNIE: It's a present.
[Shot
past Winnie of Kevin as he looks at the box.]
[Very
close shot of the box in Winnie's hand, as Kevin's hand takes it.]
[Shot
past Winnie of Kevin frowning.]
KEVIN: Sure. I knew that.
[Kevin
looks at the box.]
NARRATOR: I wanted to tear it open with my teeth.
[Shot
past Kevin of Winnie looking at the box.]
WINNIE: But don't open it till Christmas.
[Winnie
looks at Kevin.]
WINNIE: 'Kay?
[Shot
past Winnie of Kevin frowning and shaking his head.]
KEVIN: Course not.
[He
looks at Winnie, then the box.]
NARRATOR: A thousand thoughts were barrelling through my head.
[Shot
past Kevin of Winnie.]
NARRATOR: A million questions, a billion -
WINNIE: Well, seeya!
[Winnie
turns away.]
[Close
shot of Kevin looking after her off-screen.]
NARRATOR: Wait - stop her! Stop her!
KEVIN: Uh, I - I got somethin' for you, too.
[Wider
shot of Kevin and Winnie as she pauses and turns, then approaches.]
NARRATOR: Good. A lie, but a - a good lie...
[Close
shot of Kevin as Winnie approaches him.]
KEVIN: I just...don't have it with me.
[Shot
past Kevin of Winnie as she smiles and shakes her head.]
WINNIE: Oh, that's OK. You don't have to.
[Shot
past Winnie of Kevin, as he glances over his shoulder, then back.]
KEVIN: Maybe I can...bring it to your house?
[Shot
past Kevin of Winnie.]
WINNIE: I guess so.
[Shot
past Winnie of Kevin.]
KEVIN: Then I'll seeya. [Smiles.]
[Shot
past Kevin of Winnie as she smiles and walks away.]
NARRATOR: In a matter of seconds...
[Shot
of Kevin, and Paul behind him, as Kevin looks after Winnie off-screen.]
NARRATOR: My whole life had been bent into a question-mark.
[Shot
from Kevin's perspective of Winnie joining her group of friends.]
GIRL: Hi!
NARRATOR: What did this mean?
[Shot
of Kevin, and Paul behind him.]
WINNIE
[V/O]: Hi.
NARRATOR: Was it a message?
[Closer
shot of Winnie smiling, with her friends.]
WINNIE: I'm so excited about this...
NARRATOR: One thing I was sure of - Winnie Cooper...
[Shot
of Kevin and Paul, as Kevin smiles.]
NARRATOR: Had never smelled better.
PAUL: You're dreamin'.
[Shot
past Paul of Kevin, as Kevin turns and frowns.]
KEVIN: Huh?
[Shot
of Paul and Kevin.]
PAUL: You're never gonna get a color-TV!
[Shot
past Paul of Kevin frowning.]
JACK
[V/O]: Hammer!
INT DAY. ARNOLD LIVING ROOM
[Close
shot of Jack lying on the floor, half hidden under the the Christmas tree. He
reaches out his hand.]
NARRATOR: Maybe Paul was right.
[Jack
takes a hammer which Kevin, off-screen, hands to him.]
NARRATOR: The great color-TV campaign was sputtering.
[Wide
shot of the living room. Karen is on the couch looking in a box. Norma is
sitting on the floor at near the coffee table. Kevin stands next to the tree as
Jack is working on it.]
NARRATOR: Dad was a rock.
[Close
shot of Kevin looking toward Jack off-screen, then glancing over his shoulder.]
NARRATOR: The situation was getting desperate.
[Close
shot of Wayne approaching behind the couch.]
NARRATOR: So was Wayne.
[Wayne
shakes his head and sits in the chair.]
[Close
shot of Norma frowning toward Wayne off-screen.]
NORMA: Honey? You haven't been peeking in the closets, have you?
[Shot
past Karen of Wayne as he frowns and shakes his head.]
[Wide
shot of all.]
JACK: Screwdriver!
[Karen
reaches into the box, and pulls an ornament out.]
KAREN: Ah - look everybody! It's the little bird in the cage!
NORMA: Awwww...
[Close
shot of Kevin looking toward Karen off-screen.]
KAREN: Remember, Daddy?
NARRATOR: Uh-oh. Holiday traditions.
[Kevin
frowns and glances off.]
NORMA
[V/O]: Ohhhhh....
NARRATOR: My family was honey-combed with them.
[Close
shot of Norma smiling as she holds up the ornament.]
NORMA: You know who gave this to us?
[Shot
of Kevin looking away.]
KEVIN: Uncle Mike...
[Close
shot of Norma.]
NORMA: Your uncle Mike.
[She
looks at the ornament.]
NORMA: He used to say that it reminded him...
[Shot
of Kevin mouthing the words as Norma speaks.]
NORMA
[V/O]: Of the only girl he ever loved.
[Shot
of Norma looking coldly toward Kevin off-screen.]
JACK: Pliers!
[Close
shot of Jack reaching up for the pliers.]
[Close
shot of Kevin.]
NARRATOR: I hated those old stories.
[Kevin
frowns and glances off.]
NARRATOR: There was a reason.
[Close
shot of Norma smiling.]
NORMA: You know what I'm remembering?
NARRATOR: And here it came.
NORMA: The year Kevin played Santa in the school pageant.
[Close
shot of Kevin making a face.]
NARRATOR: Ugh...
KEVIN: Mom, look, you don't have to right now. It's -
[Close
shot of Norma.]
NORMA: I know....but you were so cute! The way you came...waddling in,
just like a bowl full of jelly.
[Close
shot of Karen smiling, looking at Kevin off-screen.]
KAREN: Yeah, with his pants almost falling off.
[Close
shot of Kevin frowning and looking off.]
NARRATOR: Did these people have no mercy?
JACK
[V/O]: He was pretty cute.
[Kevin
pauses, then looks toward Jack off-screen.]
[Close
shot of Jack looking up and smiling.]
NARRATOR: Wait a minute.
[Close
shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.]
NARRATOR: Was that a smile on the old man's face? An actual smile?
[Close
shot of Jack looking up and smiling.]
NARRATOR: We'd caught him off-guard!
[Shot
of Kevin.]
NARRATOR: Now was our chance. With the right combination of tact and
finesse...
[Kevin
looks toward Wayne as Wayne stands next to him.]
NARRATOR: We might just -
WAYNE: Dad? Are you gonna get us that new color-TV set, or not?
NARRATOR: Unbelievable.
[Close
shot of Jack looking up toward Wayne off-screen.]
[Shot
of Kevin and Wayne.]
[Close
shot of Jack looking toward Norma off-screen.]
JACK: What TV?
[Close
shot of Norma smiling.]
NORMA: Nothing, honey.
JACK: What TV?
[Close
shot of Norma shaking her head.]
NORMA: Really! Nothing.
[Shot
of Kevin and Wayne.]
WAYNE: Mom said that we were gonna get one. Didn't you, Mom? [Nods.]
NARRATOR: Obviously something critical had malfunctioned in Wayne's brain.
[Close
shot of Norma shaking her head.]
NORMA: I didn't say definitely...I did say that your father and I might
-
[Shot
of Kevin and Wayne.]
WAYNE: Everybody else has one!
[Close
shot of Jack as he frowns and looks down.]
[Wide
shot of all as Jack slams the pliers into his toolbox and stands up.]
[Close
shot of Kevin as Jack sighs heavily.]
[Close
shot of Jack. He puts his hands on his hips, and looks toward Norma
off-screen.]
JACK: Fact is I like color-TV.
[Jack
looks toward Kevin and Wayne off-screen.]
JACK: Fact is, I bet I like color-TV as much as the next guy.
[Close
shot of Kevin glancing toward Wayne off-screen.]
[Close
shot of Jack.]
JACK: But let me ask you this...does anyone here, have any idea how
much one of those sets costs?!
[Close
shot of Norma looking down.]
[Close
shot of Karen looking off.]
[Close
shot of Wayne with his arms folded, looking down.]
[Close
shot of Kevin.]
KEVIN: Four-sixty-nine-ninety-five!
[Close
shot of Jack turning toward Kevin off-screen.]
[Close
shot of Kevin.]
KEVIN: Plus tax! [Smiles.]
[Close
shot of Jack frowning.]
[Close
shot of Kevin frowning and looking off.]
KEVIN: Minus the discount...Four-thirty-four-forty total.
[Close
shot of Jack frowning at Kevin off-screen.]
NARRATOR: Looking back, he probably meant that question to be rhetorical.
NIGHT - WAYNE AND KEVIN’S BEDROOM
[Close
shot of Wayne lying on his side in bed.]
WAYNE: Nice goin', butthead!
[Close
shot of Kevin frowning.]
KEVIN: Me?! What did I do?!
[Wide
shot of Karen, Wayne and Kevin.]
WAYNE: Nice goin', butt-head!
[Close
shot of Kevin frowning, then looking off.]
NARRATOR: Oh - well! One minute you're everybody's little Santa, the next
minute you're Benedict Arnold.
KAREN
[V/O]: You guys have a lot to learn.
[Close
shot of Karen with her arms folded. She gestures.]
KAREN: Don't you know anything about psychology?
[Close
shot of Kevin looking toward Karen off-screen.]
NARRATOR: This from a woman who read the Cliff notes for Kahlil Gibran.
[Close
shot of Karen as she frowns, and gestures with both hands.]
KAREN: I mean, you're backing Dad into a corner. He wants to buy us a
TV, but he wants to surprise us.
[Close
shot of Kevin frowning.]
[Close
shot of Karen as she frowns and nods.]
KAREN: It's complex.
[Wide
shot as Karen exits.]
[Wayne
props himself up, and watches her leave.]
[Shot
past Wayne of Kevin, as Wayne frowns.]
[Shot
past Kevin as Wayne turns toward him.]
WAYNE: Nice goin', butthead!
[Shot
past Wayne of Kevin as he frowns.]
KEVIN: Hey, you're the one who started all this.
[Kevin
slides into bed.]
[Close
shot of Wayne turning off the lamp.]
[Close
shot of Kevin lying back in bed, looking toward Winnie's present on the
nightstand.]
NARRATOR: OK - I'd blown it. There was dissention in the ranks.
[Shot
of the door, and the edge of light around it.]
NARRATOR: I could take it. But out there, down that hallway...
JACK
[V/O]: I'm not buying a TV, Norma.
NIGHT - KITCHEN
[Shot
of Jack and Norma at the table, wrapping presents.]
JACK: We can't afford it despite what you - what they think.
NORMA: Well, I think we oughtta -
JACK: It's not like I don't work hard for a living, you know. I do what
I can.
[Shot
past Jack of Norma.]
NORMA: Honey, I know! It's just that...when I saw it there in the store
- TV...I saw the kids looking at it...
[Shot
past Norma of Jack.]
NORMA: I saw us here, watching it, together.
[Shot
past Jack of Norma.]
NORMA: They've grown up so fast, Jack.
[Norma
looks at Jack.]
NORMA: Karen's almost leaving us.
[Shot
past Norma of Jack looking at Norma, then looking down.]
NORMA: Honey? What the heck! [Gestures.]
Why don't we just go for it?
[Jack
frowns.]
[Shot
past Jack of Norma.]
NORMA: You don't have to give me anything this year...
[Norma
frowns and gestures.]
NORMA: We - we'll eat hotdogs for a month!
[Jack
looks off. She puts her hand on Jack's hand.]
[Shot
past Norma of Jack looking at her.]
NORMA: You know it would make you feel good.
[Jack
glances down, then frowns and sits back.]
EXT. NIGHT - ARNOLD HOUSE
[Wide
shot of the house as the last of the interior lights is turned off. Sound of a
barking dog.]
NIGHT - WAYNE AND KEVIN’S BEDROOM
[Close
shot of Kevin awake in bed, as a door slams. Kevin sighs.]
NARRATOR: I couldn't sleep. I felt confused.
[Kevin
sits up.]
NARRATOR: Why couldn't things be simple, the way they used to be, in the
sixth grade?
[Shot
of Wayne and Kevin, as Kevin turns to him.]
KEVIN: Wayne? You awake?
WAYNE: Angela!
[Close
shot of Kevin. He looks off, then at Winnie's gift.]
NARRATOR: It was all a riddle inside a riddle, inside -
[Kevin
picks up the gift and looks at it.]
NARRATOR: A box. And I had to find the answer. Boy! Christmas was turning
into a minefield.
INT. DAY - DEPARTMENT STORE
[Wide
shot of the aisles as Kevin, Wayne and Jack walk toward the camera. "We
Wish You A Merry Christmas" plays in the background.]
NARRATOR: One-hundred-twenty shopping-minutes till Christmas.
[Closer
shot of Kevin and Wayne, as Wayne points to something.]
[Close
shot of Kevin glancing over some merchandise as he walks forward.]
NARRATOR: In my family, that's when the serious last-minute purchases began.
[Shot
of a display of color-TV's as the camera rolls forward and pans to the TV's.]
[Shot
of Kevin and Wayne looking at the TV's. Jack follows in the background.]
WAYNE: Gee! Look over there! Wonder what those are.
[Kevin
and Wayne pause as Jack walks past them.]
WAYNE: Why, they look like color-TV's. [Gestures.]
[Close
shot of Kevin frowning and after at Jack off-screen.]
[Close
shot of Jack, as he walks toward the camera, uninterested.]
NARRATOR: If Dad was planning a surprise, he was sure playing it close to
the vest.
[Close
shot of a TV screen - Mr Magoo on TV: "Christmas?! Hah! Bah, humbug!"
Mr. Magoo slams the door.]
[Shot
across a counter of Kevin and Paul approaching. "Twelve Days of
Christmas" plays in the background.]
NARRATOR: But I had problems of my own. I had to find a present for Winnie.
[The
camera rolls back, across the counter, as Kevin and Paul look around.]
NARRATOR: It had to be perfect. It had to say everything - without saying
anything. And it had to be under six bucks.
[Paul
shrugs.]
PAUL: How about a book? How about one of those paperweights, with the
ice-skater inside, and the swirly snow? [Gestures.]
KEVIN: Are you kidding?!
[They
pause.]
[Shot past Paul of Kevin frowning.]
KEVIN: I hate those!
[Close
shot of Paul.]
PAUL: Well, my mother liked the one I got her.
[Shot
past Paul of Kevin.]
KEVIN: Sorry. [Frowns.]
PAUL: It's OK.
NARRATOR: Compromise was out of the question.
[Kevin
looks around.]
NARRATOR: I had to find the right gift - or die trying.
[Kevin
smiles, and walks out of the shot.]
[Shot
of a woman's hands opening a bottle of perfume.]
[Wider
shot past Kevin of the woman holding the bottle toward Kevin.]
[Shot
of Kevin and Paul as Kevin smells the perfume. Paul is holding a hankerchief to
his nose.]
KEVIN: I can't tell.
[The
woman puts the cap on the perfume as Kevin looks at Paul.]
PAUL: I think I'm dying.
[Kevin
looks toward the clerk, and frowns.]
KEVIN: It smells like...leaves...[gestures]...i-in
the ocean, at night. Do you have anything like that? [Frowns.]
[The
woman walks off.]
PAUL: Why don't we just pick up the phone, and ask Winnie what it's
called?
KEVIN: We can't.
[Kevin
shakes his head.]
PAUL: Why not? We can disguise our voices.
[Closer
shot of Paul.]
PAUL: We could be Avon calling.
[Close
shot of Kevin as he turns away.]
NARRATOR: Paul could be amazingly dense when it came to women.
[Kevin
looks back to Paul off-screen.]
NARRATOR: Fortunately, he had me to set him straight.
KEVIN: It's gotta be a surprise!
[Shot
of Kevin and Paul as Kevin gestures.]
KEVIN: That's what she's expecting!
PAUL: Oh.
KEVIN: See - that's why she gave me the present in the first place. She
wants me to make the next move.
PAUL: Ohhhh...
[Kevin
smiles and gestures.]
KEVIN: Yeah...
[The
woman returns with a tray of perfume bottles.]
[Close
shot past Kevin of Paul as the woman sets the tray down. Paul looks at the
perfume and sighs.]
[Shot
of the woman dabbing some perfume on her wrist, and holding it out toward
Kevin. "Jinmgle Bell Rock" starts.]
[Shot
past the woman's arm of Kevin as he sniffs, and shakes his head.]
[Close
shot of the woman smelling another bottle top, and holding it out.]
[Close
shot of Kevin as he sniffs and shakes his head.]
[Close
shot of the woman spritzing perfume into the air.]
[Close
shot of Kevin as he frowns.]
[Close
shot of the woman looking determined.]
[Close
shot of Kevin grimacing and turning away from the bottle.]
[Shot
of Paul, past the woman's hands holding another bottle. The camera pans
slightly toward Kevin as the woman spritzes it. Kevin makes a face.]
[Close
shot of the woman holding another bottle.]
[Close
shot of Kevin making a face and turning away.]
[Close
shot of the woman looking determined.]
[Close
shot of the countertop as she sets another tray on it.]
[Close
shot of Paul holding a hankerchief to his nose.]
[Close
shot of the tray. The camera quickly pans to Kevin.]
[Close
shot of the woman holding a bottle.]
[Close
shot of Kevin as the bottle is held under his nose. He smiles. "Jingle
Bell Rock" ends. "Winnie's Theme" plays, as Kevin nods and
smiles. Fade to the earlier scene of Winnie walking up the hallway, smiling.]
[Close
shot of Kevin smiling as the woman puts the cap on the bottle.]
PAUL
[V/O]: One question.
["Winnie's
Theme" fades as Kevin turns toward Paul off-screen.]
[Close
shot past Kevin of Paul.]
PAUL: If she already has some - why get her more?
[Close
shot of Kevin as he frowns and turns forward.]
[Close
shot of the paperweight, as the woman sets it on the counter. Kevin's hands are
opening his wallet behind it.]
NARRATOR: OK - so it wasn't what James Bond would give Pussy Galore.
[Close
shot of Kevin looking at the paperweight.]
NARRATOR: Double-Oh-Seven wasn't gettin' by on fifty-cents-a-week in
allowance. Besides...
[Kevin
glances toward Paul off-screen and smiles slightly.]
KEVIN: It's the thought that counts.
[He
looks at the paperweight.]
NARRATOR: I had to believe that...
[Shot
of Kevin and Paul, as Paul shrugs.]
NARRATOR: I had no choice.
[The
woman places the paperweight in a bag.]
EXT. NIGHT - ARNOLD HOUSE
[Wide
shot of the house, with lights on. A lighted snowman is in the foreground.]
NARRATOR: Christmas Eve. In homes all over the known universe, an age-old
celebration...
INT. NIGHT - ARNOLD LIVING ROOM
[Close
shot of the paperweight sitting on some wrapping paper, and Kevin's hands
wrapping some paper around it.]
NARRATOR: Was about to unfold.
[Wider
shot of Kevin sitting in front of the couch, as he puts the paperweight into a
box.]
NARRATOR: A time of joy - and harmony. And family.
[Kevin
glances toward the TV off-screen.]
[Close
shot past Wayne sitting in front of the TV, wearing a Santa hat. A noisy TV
show is on.]
[Shot
of Wayne, and Jack reading a newspaper in the background.]
WAYNE: Gee! Would ya look at that car? I wonder what color it is...Oh,
wait - there's the ocean! You think it's orange? Nah, it's probably blue. But,
how would I know?
[Close
shot of Karen frowning.]
KAREN: Wayne! Turn it down.
[Close
shot of Kevin sitting back on the couch.]
[Wide
shot of all.]
NARRATOR: That night, all the seams were showing. Only Mom was in there
pitching...
[Kevin
glances up at Norma as she approaches at the edge of the shot.]
NARRATOR: Like a lone fireman at a five-alarm blaze.
[Wide
shot of all as Norma sets a tray of glasses on the coffee table, and sits on
the couch.]
NORMA: Eggnog, anyone?
[Norma
sits next to Kevin.]
NORMA: Lydia Herschmuller just called. To remind us about the carolling
party tonight.
[Close
shot of Norma handing a cup of eggnog toward Jack off-screen.]
[Shot
of Jack behind the newspaper. He shakes his head slightly.]
NORMA
[V/O]: I told her we'd be there with
bells on!
KAREN
[V/O]: Wayne!
[Close
shot of Karen frowning.]
KAREN: Turn it down!
[Close
shot of Kevin looking down, then at Norma, and down again.]
NARRATOR: You had to wonder - maybe every family was given only so much
Christmas cheer to begin with.
[He
picks up a cup of eggnog.]
NARRATOR: Maybe this year my family had run out.
[Close
shot of Wayne, and Jack in the background.]
WAYNE: Woops! [Points.] That
guy's eating a gray banana!
[Norma
walks along the back of the couch toward Karen.]
NORMA: We have to sing "Little Drummer Boy" tonight.
[Close
shot of Karen taking a cup from Norma, and smiling.]
[Close
shot of Kevin sitting up straighter.]
NARRATOR: This was pathetic. Someone had to do something.
[Close
shot of Kevin looking around to everyone.]
KEVIN: Hey, you remember the year I played Santa in the school play?
[Close
shot of Jack turning the page of his newspaper.]
[Close
shot of Karen leaning her head on her fist, and looking bored.]
[Close
shot of Norma sipping her eggnog.]
[Close
shot of Kevin looking around, smiling.]
NARRATOR: Well, I'd given it my best shot.
[Kevin
sighs, and rests his head in his hand.]
NARRATOR: Nothing.
[Close
shot of Wayne.]
WAYNE: If we put on sunglasses, we can watch this in black-and-green!
NARRATOR: Wayne had finally reached the limit.
[Wayne
slides his Santa hat over his eyes, and reaches out his hands toward the TV.
Jack lowers his newspaper slowly in the background.]
WAYNE: I think I'm picking up some color, here! Oh, it's beautiful. It's
-
[Wide
shot of all as Karen stands up.]
KAREN: Wayne! Will you just give it up?!
[Close
shot of Jack frowning.]
KAREN
[V/O]: We're not getting a TV!
[Close
shot of Kevin looking toward Karen off-screen, then looking down.]
KAREN
[V/O]: Just forget it!
[Close
shot of Karen.]
KAREN: Well, I gotta go.
[She
turns to leave.]
JACK
[V/O]: Wait a minute, wait a minute.
[Close
shot of Jack.]
JACK: Where do you think you're goin'?
[Close
shot of Karen turning and frowning.]
KAREN: I have a date.
[Close
shot of Jack glancing sideways.]
JACK: On Christmas Eve?
[Close
shot of Karen rolling her eyes.]
KAREN: Why not?
[Close
shot of Norma turning over her shoulder.]
NORMA: What your father means -
[Close
shot of Jack frowning.]
JACK: It's Christmas Eve - we spend Christmas Eve together!
[Jack
looks toward Norma off-screen.]
[Close
shot of Norma.]
JACK
[V/O]: I can say what I mean.
[Close
shot of Kevin looking toward Norma off-screen.]
"Jingle
all the way..."
[Close
shot of Kevin looking toward Karen off-screen.]
[Close
shot of Karen.]
KAREN: I'm goin' out, Dad. [Nods.]
[Close
shot of Jack.]
JACK: Nobody...is going anywhere. We're all staying right...here.
[Close
shot of Karen as she turns away and walks toward the hallway.]
[Wide
shot of all as Jack stands up. Sound of Karen's door slamming shut. Jack folds
his newspaper, and tosses it on the table. He walks past the camera. Wayne
glances over his shoulder, as Norma stands and walks toward the hallway. Kevin
turns over his shoulder and looks after her.]
[The
camera moves in on Kevin slowly as he turns forward, hands together, and looks
at the box. He picks it up.]
EXT. NIGHT - COOPER'S HOUSE
[Wide
shot of Kevin walking up the sidewalk, then up the walkway toward the house.]
[Closer
shot of Kevin as he pauses at the door.]
NARRATOR: I wasn't sure exactly what to expect at Winnie Cooper's.
[Kevin
rings the doorbell.]
NARRATOR: But I had a pretty good idea.
[Fantasy
scene.]
-[Shot
from behind Kevin as Winnie opens the door and smiles. She is wearing a red
outfit. "White Chistmas" plays.]
-[Shot
of Kevin smiling, holding his gift.]
-[Close
shot of Winnie smiling.]
-WINNIE: Hi...
-[Close
shot of Kevin smiling.]
-KEVIN: Hi.
-[Shot
of Winnie smiling at Kevin. Her hair blows in the breeze.]
-[Shot
of Kevin holding the present out.]
-KEVIN: I brought this for you.
-[Close
shot of Winnie as she steps outside.]
-WINNIE: Then you got my message.
-[She
looks at Kevin a moment.]
-[Shot
from the side as she puts her hands over his shoulders.]
-[Shot
past Kevin of Winnie smiling.]
-WINNIE: Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
-[Shot
from the side as Winnie moves in to kiss him.]
[Fantasy
scene ends.]
[Close
shot of the door opening. An older woman looks out.]
WOMAN: Yes?
[Close
shot of Kevin glancing off, then toward the woman.]
NARRATOR: Holy cow! I'd never seen this person before in my life!
KEVIN: Uh, is...Winnie home?
[Shot
past Kevin of the woman.]
WOMAN
[V/O]: No, she's not.
[Shot
past Kevin of the woman.]
WOMAN: Can I help you?
[Close
shot of Kevin frowning and shaking his head.]
KEVIN: No, that's OK.
[Kevin
turns to leave.]
WOMAN
[V/O]: You're the boy next door, aren't
you?
[Shot
past Kevin of the woman.]
WOMAN: Gwendolyn said you might be stopping by.
[Close
shot of Kevin.]
KEVIN: She did? [Smiles.]
WOMAN: The Cooper's decided to spend the holiday's with relatives. It
was a last minute decision. She seemed to think you'd understand.
[Close
shot of Kevin frowning and glancing off.]
NARRATOR: Understand what? That nothing made sense? That Christmas was a
bust? That my whole family was coming apart at the -
[Shot
past Kevin of the woman.]
WOMAN: You...do know about her brother, don't you? Brian.
[Close
shot of Kevin looking off.]
KEVIN: Oh...
[Shot
past Kevin of the woman.]
WOMAN: Brian was killed...last fall. In Vietnam.
[Close
shot of Kevin frowning.]
KEVIN: I know! I know that!
[Kevin
glances off.]
KEVIN: I guess I just...forgot.
[Shot
past Kevin of the woman.]
WOMAN: They needed time away - they'll be back in a few days. Goodnight.
[She
closes the door.]
[Close
shot of Kevin frowning and glancing around.]
NARRATOR: At that moment I felt like the dumbest human being on earth.
[Kevin
rings the doorbell.]
[Shot
past Kevin of the woman as she opens the door and looks at Kevin.]
[Close
shot of Kevin. He holds out the gift.]
KEVIN: It was supposed to be perfume.
[Shot
past Kevin of the woman as she takes the gift and looks at Kevin.]
[Close
shot of Kevin as he half smiles, and turns away. "River" starts. He
pauses and looks back over his shoulder. Then walks to the sidewalk, where he
pauses again, then steps forward.]
[Fade
to shot from the street as Kevin walks up the sidewalk with his hands in his
jacket, looking around.]
"It's coming on Christmas"
"They're cutting down trees"
"They're putting up reindeer"
"And singing songs of joy and peace"
"Oh, I wish I had a river"
"I could skate away on"
[Closer
shot of Kevin walking and looking.]
"But it don't snow here"
"It stays pretty green"
"I'm going to make a lot of money"
"Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene"
"I wish I had a river"
"I could skate away on"
[Fade
to a close shot from in front of Kevin.]
"I wish I had a river so
long"
NARRATOR: That night I thought about a lot of things.
"I would teach my feet to
fly"
NARRATOR: About Winnie. About Brian. About my family.
"Oh, I wish I had a river"
NARRATOR: About how things get lost, or messed up.
"I could skate away on"
[Music
fades.]
[Wide
shot of a group of carollers in front of a house, singing "Silent
Night".]
[Close
shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.]
[Closer
shot of Wayne, Karen, Norma, and Jack singing.]
[Close
shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen, then walking past the camera.]
[Wide
shot of the group as Kevin joins them.]
[Closer
shot of the group singing.]
[Closer
shot of Kevin glancing around.]
[Close
shot of Norma and Jack.]
[Close
shot of Kevin turning forward.]
NARRATOR: Nothing short of a miracle was gonna make this right.
[Kevin
starts to sing.]
[Shot
of the five Arnold's.]
[Close
shot of Kevin.]
NARRATOR: And then it happened.
[Kevin
glances up, then puts out his hand.]
[Shot
of the five Arnold's.]
NARRATOR: It started...
[Kevin
looks over his shoulder, as others look up, as thunder sounds.]
NARRATOR: To pour.
[Heavy
rain starts to fall.]
[Wider
shot of the whole group as the others scatter. The Arnold's linger.]
[Close
shot of Jack frowning.]
NARRATOR: The thing was, Dad just stood there. We all wanted to run for
cover.
[Norma
glances toward Norma.]
[Wider
shot of the five Arnold's.]
NARRATOR: But Dad was just standing there.
[Closer
shot of Jack glancing up.]
NARRATOR: So, we all just stood there with him.
[Shot
of the five Arnold's.]
[Closer
shot of Jack glancing up. He looks at Norma off-screen, and starts to laugh.]
[Shot
of the five Arnold's as they all start to laugh, and huddle together. Some
light guitar music plays throughout.]
JACK: Come on - what are we waiting for?
INT. NIGHT - ARNOLD KITCHEN
[The
Arnold's are gathered around the kitchen table, still laughing, as they dry
off. The camera pulls back slowly. Jack and Kevin throw paperwads at Wayne.]
WAYNE: Alright! Alright, already!
[Wayne,
Kevin and Jack continue to toss things at each other.]
NARRATOR: I don't even remember what I got for Christmas that year. But Dad
gave Mom a bracelet that knocked her socks off. Oh, yeah...and he did get us
that color-TV...two years later.
WAYNE: Oh, man - eat'em off the floor...
ARNOLD LIVING ROOM
[Shot
of Kevin in pajamas, kneeling next to the tree, untying the ribbon on Winnie's
gift. "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" starts.]
NARRATOR: For me, that year Christmas stopped being about tinsel and
wrapping paper, and started being about memory.
[He
pulls the tag off of it, and sets it down.]
NARRATOR: At first I was disappointed. Until I learned that memory is a way
of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you wish
to never lose.
[Kevin
pulls the ribbon off, and sets it down. He peels the paper off.]
NARRATOR: And I learned from Winnie, that in a world that changes too fast,
the best we can do is wish each other Merry Christmas.
[He
pulls the last of the paper off.]
[Close
shot of the box as he opens it. There is a four-leaf clover on top of the
cotton liner.]
NARRATOR: And good luck.
[Snuffy's
guitar changes to "Jingle Bells".]
[Shot
of Kevin holding the open box, and looking off.]