The Wonder Years - Transcript

Episode 99: "White Lies"

Written by Jon Harmon Feldman & Robin Riordan
Transcribed by Kyle Gittins
Edited by Peter Reynders


[Wide shot of the city lights below. The camera slowly lowers over the parked cars.]

NARRATOR: They say you can live a lifetime and never find love. So I guess I was lucky. Because true love crossed my path the first time I met the girl next door - Winnie Cooper.

[Cut to close shot through the windshield of KEVIN and WINNIE. WINNIE is twisted around, and KEVIN is holding her as they kiss. WINNIE pulls away.]

WINNIE: Kevin, wait!

KEVIN: What's wrong?

WINNIE: Isn't it kinda hot in here?

[KEVIN smiles.]

KEVIN: Feels fine to me.

[He smiles again, and leans over to kiss her. They kiss passionately.]

NARRATOR: Winnie and I'd been together longer than any couple I knew. Still, history only goes so far.

[WINNIE pulls back.]

WINNIE: Kevin?

NARRATOR: Kinda like Winnie.

KEVIN: What's the problem?

WINNIE: It's just that...[kiss]...if we don't stop now...[kiss]...I'm afraid I may not be able to later.

[KEVIN smiles.]

KEVIN: Well that's OK, isn't it? [kiss] I mean we love each other. [kiss]

WINNIE: Of course we do.[kiss]

KEVIN: And we've been going together, for what, six years now?

[WINNIE smiles.]

WINNIE: Six-and-a-half.

[More passionate kissing.]

NARRATOR: Unfortunately, the mathematics of the situation were open to interpretation. To me, they led forward, to that great unknown.

[KEVIN kisses WINNIE's neck. She starts to smile.]

NARRATOR: But to Winnie, they led...

WINNIE [brightly]: Do you remember when we used to ride our bikes up here when we were kids?


[KEVIN frowns. They both look off.]

KEVIN: We did?

WINNIE: Yeah...before they built it all up.

[Wide shot of city lights.]

WINNIE: Now they have all the lights down there, but it used to be all dark.

KEVIN: Oh...yeah.

[He smiles and turns to WINNIE. They kiss some more.]

NARRATOR: See, the great thing about us was that we had this past together.

[WINNIE pulls away, looks off and smiles.]

WINNIE: And we went down the hill - we didn't even pedal - we would just glide.

NARRATOR: The bad thing about us was that we had this past together.

[KEVIN frowns, looks off, then back to WINNIE.]

KEVIN: You know, Winnie, you just changed the subject.

[She turns to him quickly.]

WINNIE: From what?

[KEVIN frowns and looks away.]

KEVIN:...never mind.

[WINNIE smiles and snuggles on KEVIN's shoulder. KEVIN is looking out at the lights.]

NARRATOR: Not that I minded being part of Winnie's past.

[WINNIE reaches forward to the radio, smiles, and snuggles again. KEVIN frowns.]

NARRATOR: It's just, when it came to who I was...

[KEVIN sighs, then kisses WINNIE on her head. He looks off.]

NARRATOR: She seemed to regard me as a known quantity.

[Sound of referee's whistle.]

Cut to


[Close shot of the puck and battling sticks. The camera moves with KEVIN.]

NARRATOR: Rather than the dangerous character I'd become...

[KEVIN is tripped, and falls face-down.]

NARRATOR: Eleventh-grade...

[KEVIN frowns, gets up, and runs back to the scrimmage.]

NARRATOR: Where yesterday's boys battled to become tomorrow's men. It's a game played for nothing less than image, status, and manhood.

Cut to


[Wide shot of the locker room. Some boys sit on the bench, others walk by.]

NARRATOR: Not to mention reputation.

[STEUBEN is opening his locker, looking toward guys off-screen.]

STEUBEN: I think I'm going to give Carol Masuchi another chance this weekend.

[JEFF walks past Steuben and KEVIN on his way to his own locker.]

JEFF: Oh, you mean she finally returned your calls?

[KEVIN is sitting between them. He glances at JEFF and chuckles with the group.]

[Close shot of STEUBEN gesturing with both hands.]

STEUBEN: Hey! She called me.

GUYS: Oooh...!

[STEUBEN looks toward JEFF off-screen, as he puts on his watch.]

NARRATOR: Face it. Every day was a trial, by a jury of your peers.

[Camera pans with JEFF as he turns from his locker and sits on the bench.]

JEFF: Chuck, how'd your date go with Marilyn last night?

[Close shot of CHUCK in the background. He is a little surprised, and tries to act non-chalant. He blinks and nods.]

CHUCK: Well, you know.

[Long pause as CHUCK looks at the guys blankly.]

CHUCK: Was fun.

[Shot of KEVIN looking toward CHUCK.]


CHUCK: Yeah. Well...we did stuff.

[The guys wait expectantly.]

JEFF: Well, what kind of stuff?

CHUCK: You know...stuff.

[Shot of KEVIN and JEFF.]

NARRATOR: And those who left themselves exposed bore the full wrath of the adolescent mob.

[Shot of STEUBEN frowning and gesturing.]

STEUBEN: He didn't!

[Shot of CHUCK frowning.]

CHUCK: Did too!

[STEUBEN waves his hand at CHUCK, and smirks.]

STEUBEN: Nah, you didn't!

NARRATOR: It could be brutal.

[KEVIN looks at STEUBEN, then CHUCK.]

KEVIN: Hey, come on. Lay off him.

NARRATOR: But never so brutal as when the mob turned on you.

[Shot of STEUBEN looking at KEVIN off-screen. He moves forward.]

STEUBEN: You're right, Arnold. Maybe we should be talking about you and the Coopster.

[STEUBEN looks at KEVIN and blinks pointedly.]

[Close shot of KEVIN.]

KEVIN: What?!

[Shot of STEUBEN.]

STEUBEN: I mean you guys have been together for a long time.

[STEUBEN gestures expansively.]

STEUBEN: Uh, you want to give us some pointers?

[STEUBEN sits straddling the bench, and looks expectantly at KEVIN off-screen.]

[Close shot of KEVIN as he looks from STEUBEN to CHUCK.]

KEVIN: Well -

NARRATOR: At times like this...

[Shot of STEUBEN waiting.]

NARRATOR: The only thing to do was hope for a last minute reprieve.

[Bell rings.]

[Shot of KEVIN and JEFF. JEFF looks at his wrist.]

JEFF: Oh, wow, look at the time. Gotta run.

KEVIN: Uh, yeah! Sorry, guys, I gotta go.

GUYS: Yeah, yeah...

[KEVIN hurriedly walks away from the guys, toward the camera. He glances over his shoulder then continues forward.]

NARRATOR: But still, if proving yourself in the locker room was tough -

Cut to


[Shot of JACK entering the kitchen, holding two ties.]

JACK: Norma, which one of these ties should I take with me?

[NORMA turns from the sink and looks at the ties.]

NORMA: Oh, don't worry, honey. I'll pack for you.

[NORMA takes the ties from JACK and smiles.]

[Shot of KEVIN doing homework at the table. He looks up toward his parents.]

NARRATOR: The homefront was no picnic, either.

[JACK is cleaning the coffee percolator, and NORMA holds a container of food.]

NORMA: You're gonna be alright, aren't you, honey?

[KEVIN gestures.]

KEVIN: Mom, please.

NORMA: Well, with Wayne gone until Saturday...

[NORMA pauses and frowns.]

[Shot of KEVIN. He frowns.]

[Shot of JACK and NORMA. JACK carries coffee grounds on newspaper to the trash. NORMA walks toward the refridgerator.]

KEVIN: Mom! You're only going to be gone one night.

NARRATOR: My parents were taking a trip out of town. Which for me, meant one thing -

[Close shot of NORMA at the open freezer, looking at KEVIN.]

NORMA: There's meals in the freezer for ya, honey. [Smiles] And they're all labelled.

[Shot of KEVIN gesturing.]

KEVIN: Mom, please - give me a little credit. I can take care of myself - I'm sixteen years old!

[Shot of JACK.]

JACK: Congratulations.

[Shot of KEVIN. He smiles.]

KEVIN: Thanks!

[JACK picks up the percolator and cup. He looks at KEVIN.]

JACK: Just don't forget to take out the trash.

[Shot of KEVIN looking at his parents off-screen.]

NARRATOR: All in all, a resounding vote of confidence.

[JACK puts the percolator on the counter. NORMA and JACK exit with their arms around each other.]

JACK: Come on.

NARRATOR: I mean, who did these people think I was?

[School bell rings.]

Cut to


[KEVIN walks toward the camera.]

NARRATOR: So I had an empty house to myself. What were my parents worried about?

[KEVIN pauses and looks past the camera.]

NARRATOR: Suddenly - I understood their concern.

[Wide shot of WINNIE arranging her locker. "WINNIE's Theme" plays.]

[KEVIN walks up behind her.]

KEVIN: Winnie, hi!

[WINNIE half turns in surprise.]

WINNIE: Oh, hi!

[WINNIE turns back to her locker. KEVIN is still behind her.]

KEVIN: Listen. I was wondering if you wanted to study for the SAT's tonight.

[WINNIE turns around.]

WINNIE: Tonight?

[She frowns.]

KEVIN: Uh, yeah. I-I was about time...[gestures]...we started getting ready.

[WINNIE is adjusting her locker as KEVIN moves next to her.]

KEVIN: For the test.

WINNIE: OK! [Smiles.] Where do you want to meet?

[KEVIN looks off non-chalantly.]

KEVIN: Uh, w-I don't know, anywhere...

[KEVIN leans back against the lockers, and looks at WINNIE.]

KEVIN: How about my house?

[Close shot of WINNIE smiling.]


[She turns back to her locker.]


[Close shot of WINNIE in profile, looking in her locker.]

WINNIE: OK, as long as it's alright with your parents.

[She turns and looks at KEVIN.]

[Sound of penalty buzzer.]

KEVIN [smiles]: Sure! Definitely.

[KEVIN looks away.]

NARRATOR: Just one little detail.

KEVIN: I mean, it would be if they weren't out of town.

[KEVIN turns toward WINNIE. She turns and gives KEVIN a questioning look, then adjusts her locker.]

[KEVIN walks behind her, gesturing.]

KEVIN: But, you know, it's not gonna be like the neighbors won't be around, or anything.

[KEVIN is behind her as she smiles.]

NARRATOR: But who was I kidding? No way she was gonna fall for this pathetic ruse.

[WINNIE turns around and smiles.]

WINNIE: That's fine! [Nods.]

[KEVIN takes a small step toward her.]

KEVIN: Really?

WINNIE: Sure! We're just gonna study, right? [Nods.]

KEVIN: Absolutely. [Smiles.]

[WINNIE smiles up at KEVIN.]

WINNIE: Great! Then I'll see you tonight.

[WINNIE turns and exits.]

[The camera moves slightly closer to KEVIN as he looks after WINNIE off-screen.]

NARRATOR: And with that - the date was made. The trap was set.

Cut to


[Close shot of a long matchstick sliding along the striker and bursting into flames. Bluesy music plays. Shot widens as KEVIN lights the gas fireplace.]

NARRATOR: And so, I prepared a proper study environment.

[KEVIN blows out the match.]

NARRATOR: A veritable temple of academia.

[Shot of KEVIN adjusting the lights. The doorbell rings. KEVIN turns around, and looks toward the door.]

NARRATOR: And when I was finished...

[He glances at his handywork, then faces the door.]

KEVIN: Come in it's open!

[Close shot of the darkened doorway as WINNIE entering slowly and looks around.]

WINNIE: Hi-ee!

[Shot of KEVIN standing in front of the fireplace. He gestures.]


NARRATOR: Heh-heh.

[Close shot of WINNIE frowning as she approaches.]

NARRATOR: It was a call to romance no mere woman could resist.

[Fantasy shot of KEVIN in a smoking jacket, with pipe, looking "rico suave". Bluesy saxophone.]

[Shot of WINNIE frowning at KEVIN.]

WINNIE: It's kinda dark in here. Let's study in the kitchen!

[WINNIE crosses the scene and heads to the kitchen. KEVIN gestures as he stands in front of the fireplace.]

Cut to


[Close shot of WINNIE sitting at the table, holding a study guide.]

NARRATOR: Then again...

WINNIE: OK - what's the opposite of parsimonious - "A" fastidious, "B" considerate...

[Shot of KEVIN looking in a cabinet.]

WINNIE [V/O]: ... "C" generous, or "D" none of the above?

[Shot of WINNIE looking up from the book and frowning.]


[Close shot of KEVIN holding up a bag, and frowning.]

KEVIN: Want some pretzels, or something?

[He walks across to another cabinet.]

[WINNIE plops the book down, crosses her arms on the table, and shakes her head slowly.]

WINNIE: Kevin, you know you're never going to know all this when it's time to take the test.

[KEVIN frowns.]

KEVIN: Winnie, what's to know?

[The camera pans with KEVIN as he brings the bag and paper plates to the table.]

KEVIN: I mean it's a stupid test! All you have to do is show up on time, and bring some sharpened number two pencils.

[KEVIN sits and adjusts his chair. WINNIE turns toward him.]

WINNIE: Kevin, it's a little more difficult than that!

KEVIN: Right.

[KEVIN nods, then frowns and gestures.]

KEVIN: You have to fill in those little circles.

[KEVIN pours out some pretzels. WINNIE rolls her eyes and looks back at the book.]

NARRATOR: OK, so much for the small talk.

[Closer shot of them, as WINNIE looks at the book. KEVIN smiles and glances off, then turns to WINNIE.]

NARRATOR: It was time to get...dangerous.

KEVIN: Winnie. Let' something else.

[KEVIN closes the book. WINNIE sits back.]

WINNIE: Like what?

KEVIN: Well, like...[shrugs]...go in the living room. [Gestures.]

[They glance toward the living room. She frowns, he smiles.]

NARRATOR: For starters.

[WINNIE looks down, then smiles and turns to KEVIN.]

WINNIE: Kevin?

[She folds her arms on the table and leans closer.]

WINNIE: You really didn't invite me over here to study, did you?

[KEVIN makes a face and glances off, then looks at WINNIE.]

KEVIN: No...

[KEVIN sighs and shakes his head.]

[Wider shot of WINNIE frowning, as KEVIN looks up and gestures.]

KEVIN: It's just that we have this whole house to ourselves...

[KEVIN twirls a pencil and looks down.]

KEVIN: And I thought that...[gestures.]

[Closer shot KEVIN of WINNIE, as she looks down, then back to KEVIN.]


[KEVIN looks away.]

KEVIN: Look, Winnie... [He turns and gestures.]

KEVIN: We've been together a long time, and...

WINNIE:...and the guys are starting to talk.

[KEVIN pauses in surprise.]

[WINNIE smiles.]

WINNIE: Kevin, it isn't a secret - girls talk too, ya know.

[Shot of KEVIN looking off, and squirming.]

WINNIE [V/O]: All the time.

KEVIN: Well, like...what do you say when [Smiles.]

[WINNIE looks off and smiles.]

WINNIE: Well, I say that we've been together along time, and that we care about each other, and that things between us are great...

[She looks neutrally at him.]

[Shot of KEVIN. He has a worried look.]


[KEVIN glances between WINNIE and the table.]

[WINNIE looks intently at KEVIN.]

WINNIE: Why, what do you say?

[KEVIN looks at her, then off.]

KEVIN: I, uh...say the same.

[KEVIN smiles at her, then looks away. WINNIE looks uncertain.]

NARRATOR: Yeah. More or less.

Cut to


[Clip from "The Big Sleep". Bogie kisses [?]. W: "I like that. I'd like more." He kisses her. Camera pulls back to show the movie playing on the TV.]

NARRATOR: And so after all my attempts at intrigue, and danger, and seduction...

[TV: Bogie kisses her. Woman: "That's even better." ]

[Shot of KEVIN and WINNIE on the couch. She eats popcorn. He has his arm around her, and is frowning. He glances away.]

NARRATOR: Winnie and I ended up like we always did. Reminiscing.

[WINNIE smiles as she watches the movie.]

WINNIE: Do you remember the first time we saw this movie?

[They glance at each other.]

KEVIN:...I guess...[shrugs.]

WINNIE [Smiles]: I was sick with the flu, and you came over to keep me company.

[Closer shot of them. WINNIE looks off, smiling. KEVIN turns to her quickly and smiles.]

KEVIN: Yeah...

NARRATOR: Still, in a way, it wasn't all bad.

KEVIN: We must have watched five movies that week.

[They are looking at each other. WINNIE smiles.]

WINNIE: Seven. You visited me every day.

[They smile, then snuggle closer, and watch the movie.]

NARRATOR: Fact was, it felt pretty good, sitting there, holding her, away from school, and the guys, and the locker room.

[WINNIE covers her mouth as she yawns, then lays her head on KEVIN's shoulder.]

WINNIE: I should really call my parents. They don't know where I am.

KEVIN: No, let's watch a little more. You can call them later.

[WINNIE smiles as KEVIN stretches out a little. They look at the movie.]

NARRATOR: After all, there was no need to hurry - we had plenty of time.

[TV - Woman [frostily]: "Take me home". Bogie starts the car. B: "Alright, but I'm afraid this is as far as I'm gonna carry ya. From now on you can take care of yourself."]

[Fade to test-pattern on TV.]

NARRATOR: We didn't see the end of the movie.

[The camera pans slowly across the room. The telephone rings.]

NARRATOR: We didn't even hear the phone.

[The camera continues to pan across the dark room and the fireplace.]

NARRATOR: Because that night, Winnie and I had done something we had never done together before.

[The camera pans across the couch. KEVIN and WINNIE are crashed out.]

NARRATOR: We fell asleep.

Fade to


[Close shot of KEVIN on the couch. The telephone rings. A beam of light is in his eyes, and he squints as he gets up from the couch groggily to answer the phone. Morning news is on TV: "Good morning...this is 'Today' from Bucharest, Hungary's capital and largest city..." Remark: Bucharest is the capital of Romania.]

[Shot of KEVIN entering the kitchen.]

KEVIN: Coming...coming...

[KEVIN picks up the phone and looks toward the window.]

KEVIN: Hello? Oh! Hi, Mom! Yeah, yeah, of course I'm up - I've been up for hours...[checks watch.] Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. [Frowns.] I'm just getting ready for school...OK, I'll see you tonight. Bye.

[He hangs up and walks forward past the camera.]

NARRATOR: And that's when it hit me.

[Wide shot of the dark living room. KEVIN enters in the background. He walks up to the TV and turns it off. He looks toward the couch. "Suspense music" starts.]

KEVIN: Oh, my God.

[Shot of WINNIE asleep on the couch. Burst of music as the camera moves in slightly on her.]

NARRATOR: Somehow Winnie and I had slept through the whole night.

[Shot of KEVIN looking at her with horror.]

KEVIN: Oh, my God!

[He starts to hyperventilate, and hurries over to her.]

NARRATOR: I had to be calm - the voice of reason. I had to wake her gently, so she wouldn't -

[KEVIN kneels down and shakes WINNIE.]

KEVIN: Winnie! Wake up!

[WINNIE gets up on her elbow.]

KEVIN: It's seven o'clock! We slept in!

[WINNIE sits up, then looks at KEVIN, then away.]


Fade to


[Shot of KEVIN's car speeding past the camera. "Wake Up, Little Suzie" plays.]

[Close shot of WINNIE, then KEVIN. Both are frowning. KEVIN turns the steering wheel sharply.]

NARRATOR: Fear is a great motivator - terror is even better.

[Shot of KEVIN's car zooming by the camera.]

[Close shot of WINNIE. She shakes her head and looks at KEVIN as she combs her hair.]

WINNIE: Kevin, slow down!

[Close shot of KEVIN looking at WINNIE off-screen, then back to the road. He turns sharply.]

[Shot of KEVIN's car zooming away from the camera. Sound of police siren.]

[Close shot of KEVIN in thought.]

NARRATOR: But I couldn't. All I could imagine what awaited us - angry parents, outraged neighbors, maybe even the National Guard.

[Wide shot of WINNIE's house as KEVIN pulls up to the curb.]

NARRATOR: Or...maybe nothing at all.

[Close shot of KEVIN and WINNIE. They look at each other. KEVIN looks out and around.]

KEVIN: There's no one here!

[Close shot of WINNIE.]

WINNIE: Who would be here at seven o'clock in the morning?

KEVIN: know, the mailman, the paperboy...[shrugs.]

WINNIE: Kevin, relax.

[KEVIN looks worried.]

KEVIN: Well, should I come in with you?

[WINNIE frowns.]

WINNIE: No, that's OK. It'd probably just make things worse. [Nods.] I'll take care of this.

[WINNIE gathers her things.]

WINNIE: See you at school.

[She gives him a quick kiss, and gets out.]

NARRATOR: And at that moment...

[WINNIE leans down and waves.]

NARRATOR: Looking into those eyes - I knew things would be OK.

[WINNIE walks toward her house.]

[Shot of KEVIN looking after WINNIE off-screen.]

NARRATOR: I mean, hey, what was the absolute worst that could happen?

[KEVIN looks down to start his car, then back to WINNIE off-screen.]

Cut to


[Sound of a slamming locker as WINNIE and KEVIN round the corner and walk toward the camera. KEVIN gestures.]

KEVIN: You told them?!

WINNIE: Of course I told them!

KEVIN: You mean you told them the truth?

[WINNIE turns to KEVIN.]

WINNIE: I told them what happened. That we fell asleep on your couch.

NARRATOR: Course, I should have been relieved, but -

KEVIN: I can't believe you told them that! [Gestures.]


[KEVIN slows up as WINNIE walks past the camera to her locker.]

KEVIN: Well...

NARRATOR: Jeez, we we're red-blooded teenagers. Hadn't they considered the possibilities?

[The camera rolls back as KEVIN approaches WINNIE.]

KEVIN: What did they say?

[WINNIE looks up from her locker.]

WINNIE: Not much. They trust us. [Smiles.]

[KEVIN frowns and gestures.]

KEVIN: What's that supposed to mean?

WINNIE: Kevin, they knew nothing happened.


[KEVIN is not completely relieved. WINNIE turns back to her locker.]

NARRATOR: And the funny thing was, just when I was supposed to feel off the hook - I felt insulted.

[WINNIE turns to KEVIN as she shuts her locker.]

WINNIE: The truth was, they were really relieved to hear I was with you.

[He sighs.]

KEVIN: Great. [Glances away.]

[Close shot of WINNIE smiling and nodding at KEVIN.]

WINNIE: So I guess everything turned out OK!

[KEVIN smiles half-heartedly.]

KEVIN: Yeah.

[WINNIE smiles.]

WINNIE: I'll seeya at lunch?

KEVIN: Yeah.

[KEVIN looks after WINNIE off-screen.]


Cut to


[Shot of KEVIN playing field-hockey. KEVIN plays aggressively, and takes cheap shots at other players.]

NARRATOR: They say for every action...

[Shot of KEVIN running up the court.]

NARRATOR: ...there is an equal opposite reaction.

[The camera rolls up on STEUBEN, who is watching KEVIN come his way. KEVIN knocks him down.]

NARRATOR: When your sixteen, and your manly pride has been shrivelled...

[Shot of CHUCK turning quickly toward KEVIN off-screen.]

NARRATOR: There's only one thing to do...

[KEVIN stick-checks CHUCK, who crashes.]

[KEVIN turns and smiles, and runs across the scene.]

[Shot of JEFF turning around and seeing KEVIN coming toward him off-screen.]

JEFF: Kevin!

[Shot of KEVIN and JEFF colliding. JEFF falls in front of the goalie.]

Cut to


[Wide shot of the lockers and some boys, as STEUBEN walks in and wipes his nose. The camera pans with him as he walks past KEVIN at his locker.]

STEUBEN: Playing a little bit rough out there, eh, Arnold?

[Shot of KEVIN standing at his locker, pulling off his "red" shirt. KEVIN frowns and gestures.]

KEVIN: Hey! If you can't handle it, why don't you go play badminton with the girls?!

[STEUBEN sits straddling the bench. He gestures, looks down, then back to KEVIN.]

[Shot of KEVIN and JEFF.]

NARRATOR: OK, maybe I was a little out of control. I had my reasons.


KEVIN: Yeah. Why?

JEFF: Oh, I don't know, just looked like you were going to take a life out there.

KEVIN: Ah, I don't know. I'm just feeling...[frowns]...frustrated.

[STEUBEN looks up.]

NARRATOR: Uh-oh...

[KEVIN looks up.]

[General pause in activity.]

KEVIN: I mean, I'm just having a bad day.

[KEVIN frowns, and sits on the bench.]

STEUBEN: Right...

NARRATOR: But it was too late.

[Shot of STEUBEN looking at KEVIN and nodding slightly.]

NARRATOR: I'd broken the first rule of the locker room.

[STEUBEN gestures.]

STEUBEN: What's the matter, Arnold.

[Shot of KEVIN looking over his shoulder at STEUBEN.]

STEUBEN [V/O]: paradise?

[Shot of CHUCK standing next to STEUBEN.]

CHUCK: Yes, is...Winnie shutting you out?

[Shot of KEVIN and JEFF. They both look in Chuck's direction. Jeff raises his eye-brows, KEVIN hesitates.]

KEVIN: Well, uh, no, no.

[He glances down.]

KEVIN: We...she and I are just...

[KEVIN looks at JEFF, then down.]

KEVIN: You know.

[Shot of CHUCK and STEUBEN. CHUCK gestures with his pads.]

CHUCK: Come on, Kev! Tell us something interesting.

[KEVIN looks at CHUCK, then quickly at JEFF. Jeff raises an eybrow.]

[Close shot of STEUBEN.]

STEUBEN: We're waiting, Arnold.


[Shot of KEVIN and JEFF as Jeff stands up.]

[Shot of STEUBEN smiling and nodding.]

STEUBEN: Or is there really just nothing to tell?

[Shot of KEVIN glancing around.]

NARRATOR: Now everything within me told me to keep my mouth shut.

[Shot of CHUCK, then STEUBEN.]

NARRATOR: But somehow, the way those guys were looking at me...

[Shot of KEVIN.]

NARRATOR: It just slipped out.

[Shot of KEVIN frowning, then looking up at the guys.]

KEVIN: Hey, for your information, Winnie was over at my house last night.

[Shot of STEUBEN in mock awe, then looking toward JEFF.]


[Shot of KEVIN looking at STEUBEN.]

KEVIN: All night...

[Shot of CHUCK and STEUBEN, and other interested guys behind them.]


[KEVIN snorts, then gestures and smiles.]

KEVIN: Hey, use your imagination.

[Shot of STEUBEN thinking.]

NARRATOR: Which of course, they did...

[Shot of CHUCK.]

NARRATOR: - what little they had.

[Shot of JEFF at his locker. The camera pans with JEFF as he stands behind KEVIN, and leans closer.]

JEFF: Is this true?

KEVIN: Yeah -[snorts]- of course it's true. [Gestures.]

NARRATOR: And with that, I became a god.

KEVIN: But -

[KEVIN looks at the guys, pats the air, and nods.]

KEVIN: Just don't tell anyone, OK?

[Close shot of STEUBEN as he stands. ]

STEUBEN: Our lips are sealed.

[STEUBEN looks off and smiles faintly. The camera pans over to CHUCK. He "zips his lip", then cocks his imaginary pistol.]

[Shot of KEVIN and JEFF. Jeff smiles a little at Chuck. KEVIN looks at JEFF.]

NARRATOR: And the most amazing part is...

[Shot of CHUCK and STEUBEN smiling.]

NARRATOR: I actually believed them.

Cut to


[KEVIN and WINNIE walk toward the table area. KEVIN carries the tray.]

NARRATOR: By lunchtime I had pretty much forgotten about the whole thing.

[They pause.]

KEVIN: I'll get some napkins.

WINNIE: I'll meet you at the table.

[WINNIE heads off with the tray.]

NARRATOR: Everything felt right.

[Shot of WINNIE walking away to a table.]

NARRATOR: With me, with Winnie...

[She smiles at KEVIN, and stands at the end of the table.]

[Close shot of KEVIN smiling at WINNIE, then starting to walk off for napkins.]

GUY: Hey, Arnold?

NARRATOR: Until my fan club arrived.

GUY: You want to tell us about you and Cooper?

KEVIN: What?

[Shot of WINNIE standing at the end of a table. Girls gather excitedly around her, and start to question her.]

KEVIN: What are you talking about?

[STEUBEN moves close to KEVIN.]

STEUBEN: Come on, Arnold, fill us in on the details.

KEVIN: Get lost, Steuben!

[STEUBEN smiles at his friends.]

GUYS: Ooooh!

NARRATOR: Suddenly I was getting this queasy feeling...

[Shot of WINNIE and her freinds looking toward KEVIN. She frowns.]

NARRATOR: And it wasn't the goulash.

[Shot of KEVIN looking at the guys, then STEUBEN.]

KEVIN: Hey, Steuben. I thought I told you not to tell anyone.

STEUBEN: Well, hey! If your gonna walk the walk, you got to talk the talk.

[KEVIN glances around, then frowns.]

KEVIN: Get outta my way!

[KEVIN pushes STEUBEN backward into a cafeteria worker, and kids laugh and clap. KEVIN walks quickly toward WINNIE off-screen.

[Shot of the girls stepping back, revealing...nothing but the tray.]

[KEVIN looks down at the tray, then up.]

NARRATOR: But I was too late.

KEVIN [V/O]: Hi, Mrs. Cooper?

Cut to


[KEVIN is talking on the phone.]

KEVIN: Hi, this is - Kevin. Is Winnie there?

NARRATOR: By that night, nothing had changed.

KEVIN: Yeah. I understand. Sorry.

[He hangs up the phone.]

NARRATOR: Face it - I needed help.

[Shot of the kitchen door as JACK enters with a bag of trash.]

JACK: Kevin! I thought I told you to throw out the trash!

[JACK holds up the bag.]

KEVIN: Oh! Sorry. [Smiles.]

[Shot of JACK looking at KEVIN off-screen.]

JACK: Ehhhhhhh..

[JACK moves over to the sink and opens the cabinet underneath it.]

NARRATOR: Still, I guess help is where you find it.

[Shot of KEVIN.]


[JACK is emptying the trash.]

JACK: Yeah?

KEVIN: I have to talk to you about something that happened here last night.

[JACK glances at KEVIN.]

JACK: What is it?

[Shot of KEVIN.]

KEVIN: Winnie came over last night, and...

[Wider shot of KEVIN pacing and gesturing.]

NARRATOR: And so I recounted the whole sorry tale. I was looking for some advice. And maybe a little sympathy.

KEVIN [V/O]:...see there was all this tension with the guys in the locker room. [Gestures.]

[JACK frowns, folds his arms, and leans against the counter, looking at KEVIN.]

NARRATOR: After all, my dad had been sixteen once.

KEVIN [V/O]:...and shot my mouth off...

NARRATOR: He knew what the guys were like.

KEVIN [V/O]:...and then Winnie heard me. [Gestures.]

[KEVIN leans back on the counter and looks at JACK.]

KEVIN: Women, huh?

[Shot of JACK sighing and looking away.]

KEVIN [V/O]: I mean, what am I supposed to do?

[JACK frowns more.]

[Shot of KEVIN standing up straighter, and looking at JACK in mild surprise.]

NARRATOR: But if I was looking for someone to back me up...

[Shot of JACK. He looks sideways at KEVIN.]

JACK: Get in your car, go over and apologize right away.

[Shot of KEVIN looking at JACK.]

NARRATOR: ...I came up short.

[KEVIN looks toward the window, then to JACK.]

KEVIN: You think she'll listen?

[Shot of JACK frowning at KEVIN, then bending to pick up the trashbag.]

[Shot of KEVIN and JACK, as JACK straightens up, with his back to the camera.]

JACK:...I wouldn't.

[JACK walks past KEVIN with the trash and looks at him.]

[KEVIN is looking forward. He looks over his shoulder as JACK exits, then forward. He sighs.]

Fade to


[KEVIN pulls up outside WINNIE's house. Music plays intermittently throughout.]

NARRATOR: I didn't go right away. Maybe I was too proud. Maybe I was too afraid.

[Shot of KEVIN walking up the driveway.]

NARRATOR: I kept telling myself, over and over, that what I had done [rings bell] wasn't really so bad.

[Close shot of KEVIN as he sighs.]

NARRATOR: But I guess I knew better.

[WINNIE opens the door slowly, and stands silently in the doorway.]


[Close shot of KEVIN.]

NARRATOR: I knew what I had to do - apologize.

KEVIN: Winnie, listen. I've given this a lot of thought, and, what I did was wrong.

[Shot of WINNIE. She looks at KEVIN cooly.]

[Shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: It's just that...the guys were really getting on me - and I know it's no excuse...[nods]...but I guess I...kinda let them get the wrong idea about us.

[Long pause as he looks off. He looks back and smiles embarrassedly.]

KEVIN: OK, I definitely let them get the wrong idea about us.

[Shot of WINNIE. She has a hurt look.]

KEVIN: But ya gotta understand something, Winnie.

[Shot of KEVIN.]

KEVIN: You know when guys...get together, sometimes things get a little out of control...I mean...[shrugs and nods]...not necessarily in this case, but...sometimes...

[Shot of WINNIE. She is frowning.]

KEVIN: You know what I mean.

[Shot of KEVIN. He sighs.]

KEVIN: Anyway, I'll take care of it. I promise. [Nods faintly.]

[Wider shot of them at the doorway.]


[Close shot of KEVIN. He frowns.]

KEVIN: What?

[Closer shot of WINNIE. She looks at KEVIN intently.]

WINNIE: How can you fix something like this?

[KEVIN glances away, then looks at WINNIE.]

KEVIN: Look, Winnie, can we talk about this inside?

[Shot of them on the porch. WINNIE puts her hand behind her as she slowly backs up.]


KEVIN: Great.

WINNIE: Because my parents aren't home. So if you want me you got me!

[WINNIE swings her hands at her side.]

[Close shot of KEVIN looking concerned.]

[Closer shot of WINNIE.]

WINNIE: Come on, Kevin! This is what you were in such a hurry about, wasn't it?

[She frowns and shakes her head slightly, then sighs and takes a step forward.]

WINNIE: Now's your chance!

[She is on the verge of tears.]

[Shot of KEVIN. He looks at her, and shakes his head faintly.]

KEVIN: Winnie!

[WINNIE moves closer and hugs KEVIN. She very nearly cries.]

KEVIN: Winnie. Can't we just go back to the way things used to be, and just forget about all this?

[Close shot of WINNIE as she pulls away, and frowns.]

NARRATOR: And after all the times I wanted to hear her to say "yes"...

WINNIE: No. We can't.

[WINNIE frowns and turns away.]

[Wider shot of WINNIE shutting the door behind her.]

[Close shot of KEVIN looking at the door.]

NARRATOR: They say hindsight is 20-20, and I guess it's true.

[Wider shot of KEVIN standing on the porch, looking at the door. The camera pulls back and up slowly.]

NARRATOR: Because as I stood outside Winnie's house that night, I suddenly saw it all so clearly. I'd sold both of us short - by taking something most people never have, and throwing it away for something less. I'd been in such a rush to impress people who really didn't matter, I'd torn apart the only ones who did.

[Most of the dark house fills the frame. KEVIN stands in the porchlight.]

[The light clicks off.]

Fade to


[Clip of a young WINNIE and KEVIN riding their bikes down the path, around the bend.]


Fade to


This transcript was written by Kyle Gittins.  If you find any errors, or have comments, please send an email to Peter.

Back to my guide