NARRATOR: In junior high school...
Cut to
[Shot of a couple descending the stairs, holding hands.]
NARRATOR: There's the look of love.
[They glance at each other and smile. They continue past a boy sitting alone on the stairs.]
NARRATOR: The look of rejection.
Cut to
NARRATOR: The thrill of victory.
[Shot of a second boy rubbing his forehead after seeing his grade.]
NARRATOR: The agony of defeat.
Cut to
NARRATOR: But there was one look that was different. A once-in-a-lifetime look. The look that said that things would never be the same again.
KEVIN [V/O]: Doug?
[Shot of KEVIN and PAUL as they glance at each other, then at DOUG off-screen.]
KEVIN: Doug? You OK?
[Close shot of DOUG.]
[Shot of KEVIN and PAUL looking at DOUG off-screen.]
[Shot past KEVIN and PAUL of DOUG.]
NARRATOR: One glance at a face like that, and you knew...
[Close shot of PAUL. He sighs.]
PAUL: Oh, man...when did it happen?
[Shot past KEVIN and PAUL of DOUG.]
DOUG: Last night.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Was it your dad?
[Shot past KEVIN and PAUL of DOUG. He nods.]
[Close shot of PAUL.]
PAUL: He gave you..."The Talk".
[Close shot of DOUG. He nods.]
[Shot of KEVIN and PAUL. KEVIN looks down, and PAUL frowns.]
NARRATOR: "The Talk". The old birds and bees.
[Close shot of DOUG.]
DOUG: I actually had to listen to my father say - "genitals".
[Shot of KEVIN and PAUL grimacing.]
KEVIN & PAUL: Ahhhh!
[Close shot of DOUG frowning and starting to turn away.]
NARRATOR: It was horrible...
[Wide shot from behind KEVIN and PAUL as DOUG walks away.]
NARRATOR: ...too horrible to contemplate.
[Shot of KEVIN and PAUL looking uncomfortable.]
NARRATOR: The worst thing was, no one was immune. It could strike any time, any where. The fatal communication.
Cut to
JACK: Kevin?
[Close shot of the book, which shows the developmental stages of an embryo, and KEVIN's sneakers.]
[The camera pans up to JACK.]
[Very close shot of JACK's face. His voice is changed to very deep.]
JACK: It all begins with an egg. [Frowns.]
[Close shot of KEVIN looking worried.]
NARRATOR: Oh, no!
[Very close shot of JACK.]
JACK: So when a man and a woman get together...[Frowns.]
[Close shot of KEVIN glancing off.]
NARRATOR: Oh, gosh!
[Very close shot of JACK.]
JACK: When your mother and I...
[Shot of KEVIN rolling around in disgust.]
NARRATOR: No - no, no - don't drag Mom into this!
JACK [V/O - normal voice]: Kevin!
[Shot of JACK frowning at KEVIN.]
[Wide shot of KEVIN on the couch.]
KEVIN: Huh?
[Shot of JACK gesturing.]
JACK: Shove over.
[Wide shot of both as JACK pushes KEVIN's feet away, and sits down. He puts a pillow behind his back and crosses his arms.]
NARRATOR: Fortunately, my father preferred to communicate with his kids as little as possible. Still you never knew if your luck was gonna run out.
[Close shot of KEVIN looking at JACK off-screen, then looking away.]
NARRATOR: Or when.
Cut to
[Shot of NORMA at the opposite counter, turning toward JACK.]
NORMA: Jack...
[Shot of JACK looking the floor.]
[Shot of KEVIN at the table, looking at JACK off-screen.]
NARRATOR: Day three of my dad's week off. So far, he had tightened every screw on every kitchen cabinet...
[Shot of JACK picking at the floor.]
NARRATOR: ...re-wired all our lamps...
[Shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: ...and added another layer of insulation to the attic.
[Shot of NORMA looking over her shoulder and frowning.]
NARRATOR: In short, he was laying seige to my mom's domain.
NORMA: Honey, it's just a little crack.
[Close shot of JACK looking at the floor.]
JACK: Eh...it's fallin' apart. Where's my glue?
[Shot of NORMA frowning.]
[Shot of JACK opening the cabinet drawer, looking for his glue.]
NARRATOR: Of course, after years of experience...
[Shot of NORMA turning toward the stove.]
NARRATOR: ... Mom had learned to play Dad like a matador dealing with a bull.
[Shot of NORMA picking up a piece of bacon, turning and smiling.]
NORMA: Honey?
[NORMA dangles the bacon.]
NORMA: You want this last piece of bacon?
[Close shot of JACK looking up. Sound of bullfight trumpet. JACK does a double-take.]
[Shot of NORMA dangling the bacon.]
[Shot of JACK sliding his lips, and rising.]
[Sound of bullfight crowd and horns.]
[Close shot of KEVIN smiling.]
NARRATOR: Ole, Mom!
[Sound of a dripping faucet.]
[Shot of JACK and NORMA. JACK pauses and listens.]
[Close shot of KEVIN frowning.]
[Shot of JACK listening, then approaching the camera, while chewing the bacon.]
[Close shot of the dripping faucet. Slow-motion shot of a drop falling and splashing - "boo-boop".]
[Close shot of JACK and NORMA.]
JACK: Dammit! I just put a new washer in this thing.
[NORMA turns toward KEVIN off-screen.]
NORMA: Did the paper come yet?
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
[Shot of NORMA and JACK. NORMA glances back and forth between JACK and the faucet.]
NORMA: I know you wanted to look at those tire sales.
JACK: Oh...
[JACK glances at NORMA, then back to the faucet.]
JACK: I hope he hit the porch this time.
[Wide shot of the kitchen as JACK walks off toward the dining room, and NORMA sighs in relief, sips her drink, and smiles.]
NARRATOR: Yep. Mom had all the moves.
JACK: What the -
[JACK crosses the dining room, peering forward, in the background.]
[NORMA turns toward KEVIN, smiles and gestures.]
NORMA: You want another muffin, honey?
[Shot of KEVIN reading a cereal box, then glancing up.]
[Shot of NORMA. She pauses as she hears the tinkling of crystal.]
NARRATOR: Until, that is...
[NORMA runs toward the dining room and pauses at the doorway.]
NORMA: Jack!
[Shot of JACK looking at the crystal cabinet, swinging a squeaky door.]
NARRATOR: The bull got into the china shop.
JACK: These hinges are going, Norma. [Nods and gestures.]
[Shot of NORMA.]
NORMA: Jack...[sighs]...not my good crystal...
[Shot of JACK.]
JACK: Kevin - get my toolbox from the cellar.
[Shot of KEVIN standing next to NORMA.]
NARRATOR: Now this was serious - this was Mom's stemware.
[NORMA glances at KEVIN.]
[Shot of JACK swinging the cabinet door.]
[Shot of KEVIN and NORMA. KEVIN starts to turn away. NORMA stops him.]
NORMA: Wait.
NARRATOR: You could see her reaching back for some way to save the situation.
[Shot of JACK looking at the hinges.]
NARRATOR: Some way to -
[Shot of NORMA.]
NORMA: I know...why don't you do something with Kevin?
[Close shot of KEVIN looking surprised, and looking at NORMA.]
NARRATOR: ...stab me in the back.
[Shot of JACK frowning.]
JACK: Huh?
[Shot of NORMA.]
NORMA: You could...go to a movie, or...play catch...
[Shot of KEVIN looking at JACK off-screen.]
[Shot of JACK frowning.]
[Shot of KEVIN and NORMA. She is still holding his shoulders.]
KEVIN: Well, I better get going.
NORMA: No, wait! I've got it. Jack...wouldn't this be the perfect time to build that treehouse that you two have always talked about?
[Shot of KEVIN frowning.]
NARRATOR: A treehouse?
KEVIN: A treehouse? [Frowns.]
[Shot of JACK frowning.]
JACK: A treehouse?
[Shot of KEVIN and NORMA. NORMA smiles.]
NARRATOR: I couldn't believe it. After all I'd done for her - slept in her house, eaten her food!
[KEVIN looks at NORMA.]
NORMA: Why not?! I think it would be fun for both of you!
KEVIN: Come on, Mom.
[KEVIN frowns and shrugs.]
KEVIN: I'm too old for a treehouse.
[KEVIN looks at JACK off-screen.]
KEVIN: Right, Dad?
[Shot of JACK thinking.]
NARRATOR: I was sorry to bail out on old Mom...
[Close shot of KEVIN looking at NORMA.]
NARRATOR: But the fact was -
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: Nonsense.
[JACK closes the cabinet and smiles.]
JACK: You're never too old for a treehouse.
[Close shot of KEVIN. NORMA pats his shoulder.]
NARRATOR: ...I was a dead man.
Cut to
NARRATOR: See, it wasn't just a matter of being too old for a treehouse.
[Shot from KEVIN's perspective of JACK and the salesman in the distance.]
NARRATOR: Building something - building anything - with my dad didn't really mean "building".
[JACK turns toward KEVIN, smiles, and gives him the
thumb-sup sign.]
[Close shot of KEVIN forcing a smile, then looking away.]
NARRATOR: It meant sitting around...
[Shot of JACK standing next to the car.]
JACK: Kev.
[JACK tosses the end of some twine over the wood on top of the car.]
[The camera pans across to KEVIN on the other side of the car. He grabs the twine.]
NARRATOR: Holding twine...
[JACK runs around the car and takes the twine, bumping KEVIN's
head with his elbow.]
NARRATOR: Being in the way...
Cut to
[The camera slowly pans over to KEVIN standing behind the saw.]
NARRATOR: Eating sawdust.
[Wide shot of JACK.]
NARRATOR: And, watching him build.
[Closer shot of JACK wiping his mouth and glancing toward the sky.]
JACK: Well, startin' to lose the light. Let's knock off for today, eh, Tiger?
[Close shot past JACK of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: "Tiger"? I didn't feel like a tiger. I felt more like...an elf.
[Close shot of JACK turning toward KEVIN.]
JACK: We'll pick it up tomorrow.
[Shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: I can't.
[Close shot of JACK]
[Shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: I've got school tomorrow.
[Shot of JACK looking off in thought, then at KEVIN.]
JACK: I'll pick ya up!
[Shot of KEVIN as JACK pats KEVIN's head and walks off toward the house.]
[KEVIN looks off.]
KEVIN: Great...
NARRATOR: It didn't seem fair.
[KEVIN turns and looks after JACK.]
NARRATOR: I was thirteen years old, and my father was still treating me like...a kid! I mean, what was it gonna take here?
Cut to
HOBSON [V/O]: Check this out.
[Shot of HOBSON in profile at the table, as KEVIN and PAUL lean forward and look.]
PAUL: Put that away!
[Shot from above as PAUL closes HOBSON's notebook hurriedly.]
[Shot of HOBSON.]
HOBSON: Sorry, Pfeiff - didn't mean to scare you.
[Shot of KEVIN and PAUL.]
KEVIN: Grow up, Hobson!
[Shot of HOBSON.]
HOBSON: What's wrong with it? [Gestures.] My dad looks at this stuff.
[Shot of PAUL.]
PAUL: Yeah, your dad, maybe.
[Shot of HOBSON.]
HOBSON: Uh-huh - like yours doesn't.
[Close shot of PAUL.]
PAUL: Of course not...[glances off]...my dad's an optometrist!
[Shot of KEVIN glancing from PAUL to HOBSON.]
[Shot of HOBSON frowning and shaking his head.]
HOBSON: Phhh...
[Close shot of PAUL.]
PAUL: Well, he doesn't.
[Shot of HOBSON.]
HOBSON: I don't want this to come as a shock to you, Pfeiff...
[HOBSON glances around, then cups his hand next to his mouth.]
HOBSON: But men look at women.
[Shot of PAUL.]
PAUL: No, duh.
[Shot of HOBSON.]
HOBSON: You're just a babe in the woods.
[Shot of PAUL frowning.]
[Shot of KEVIN smiling and looking at his plate.]
NARRATOR: Craig Hobson - the "Masters and Johnson" of the lunch line.
[Close shot of HOBSON.]
HOBSON: So, Arnold, how's the big project comin'?
[Wide shot of the three of them.]
KEVIN: What do you mean?
[Close shot of HOBSON.]
HOBSON: Saw your and your dad drivin' by with a car full of lumber. Whatcha buildin' - a new sand-box? [Smiles.]
[Close shot of KEVIN frowning.]
PAUL [V/O]: For your information, Hobson...
[Shot of PAUL and KEVIN.]
PAUL: They're working on something very big.
[Close shot of HOBSON.]
HOBSON: Really, like what?
[Shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Paul...
[Close shot of PAUL.]
PAUL: I can handle this...it's a treehouse.
[Close shot of KEVIN looking off.]
NARRATOR: Thanks, Paul. Really.
[KEVIN looks at PAUL off-screen.]
KEVIN: Well, it's not really-
[Close shot of HOBSON.]
HOBSON: A treehouse, huh? Aren't you a little old for that?
[Shot of KEVIN and PAUL.]
PAUL: At least his dad doesn't sit around looking at magazines. They're building it together.
[Close shot of HOBSON.]
HOBSON: A treehouse, huh? What are you - the ladder-holder?
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Huh, yeah, right. [Smiles.]
[Close shot of HOBSON.]
NARRATOR: The nerve of this guy.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: "Ladder-holder"? I was no ladder-holder. I was...
Cut to
NARRATOR: Holding a ladder.
[JACK starts to climb down, with a board.]
JACK: Damn!
[Shot from behind KEVIN as JACK walks past KEVIN and the camera. KEVIN turns.]
[Shot of JACK at the saw-horse, marking a line on the board. KEVIN is in the background.]
JACK: I cut it too long. What the hell was I thinking of?
NARRATOR: OK - this had gone far enough. It was time to declare my independence.
[KEVIN approaches.]
KEVIN: I'll cut it for you, Dad.
JACK: Huh?
[Closer shot of JACK and KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: Heck, what did I have to lose?
JACK: Nah, I better do it.
KEVIN: Dad! I want to do it. I want to help.
[JACK puts the pencil behind his ear and reaches for the saw.]
JACK: You are helpin'.
KEVIN: Holding a ladder?
[KEVIN gestures toward the tree, and shrugs.]
KEVIN: Come on, Dad - I want to saw.
[Close shot of JACK looking at KEVIN off-screen.]
NARRATOR: OK. Either one of two things was gonna happen here.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: Either Dad was gonna laugh in my face, or...
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: You think you can shave an inch-and-three-eights off of that?
[Shot past JACK of KEVIN.]
[KEVIN nods.]
NARRATOR: He was gonna let me saw! OK...I was on my way! There was just one little problem here...
[Shot of both as JACK demonstrates "how to saw".]
NARRATOR: I'd never actually used a power-saw before. It looked...sharp.
[Close shot of the saw-blade as a sparkle of light glints off a tooth.]
NARRATOR: Saw-like.
[Shot of KEVIN and JACK, as JACK points.]
JACK: Make sure that safety-guard is down - this thing can back up on ya.
KEVIN: Yeah, I know.
[Close shot of KEVIN as he lines up the saw.]
NARRATOR: "Back up"? "Safety-guard"? OK, no turning back now.
[KEVIN pauses and glances up.]
NARRATOR: It was saw... or be sawed.
[Close shot of KEVIN's hand squeezing the trigger.]
[KEVIN saws to the tune of "Ride of the Valkyries" - Wagner.]
[Close slow-motion shot of the saw cutting the wood.]
[Shot of KEVIN.]
[Shot of the saw.]
[Shot of KEVIN.]
[Shot of JACK watching.]
[Shot of KEVIN.]
[Slow-motion shot of the end of the board falling off.]
[Shot of a pile of scraps as the piece falls to the ground.]
[Close shot of KEVIN releasing the trigger.]
[Music ends.]
[Shot of JACK watching over KEVIN's shoulder.]
[Shot of both as JACK picks up the board and runs his thumb over the cut.]
[JACK taps KEVIN's arm.]
JACK: Not bad!
[Close shot of KEVIN smiling.]
NARRATOR: It was a small step. An inch-and-three-eigths, to be exact.
JACK [V/O]: Come on.
[Shot past KEVIN of JACK as he heads up the ladder.]
NARRATOR: But it felt like we'd turned some kind of corner.
[KEVIN follows.]
Fade to
[Shot of NORMA near the dining room door, holding a book, and watching the guys off-screen. She leans on the door jamb and smiles.]
[Closer shot of JACK and KEVIN gesturing over the plans.]
NARRATOR: My dad and I.
[Shot of NORMA smiling and turning away.]
Fade to
NARRATOR: And our treehouse, at least the ground-floor, was lookin' pretty darn good!
[KEVIN pushes on the boards.]
KEVIN: Feels solid, Dad.
JACK: Yeah, it does.
NARRATOR: As Dad and I kicked back and hoisted a couple of cool ones...
[JACK hands KEVIN a bottle of soda.]
JACK: Here ya go.
NARRATOR: I had the strangest experience. Dad was talking to me - and I was listening.
[Shot of KEVIN nodding.]
[Shot of JACK as he shakes his head.]
JACK: A rope-ladder...
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: We were - communicating.
KEVIN: Wait a minute - nah, Mom can't get up a rope-ladder.
[Close shot of JACK smiling.]
JACK: That's the idea...[Chuckles.]
[Close shot of KEVIN as he smiles.]
NARRATOR: It was one of the nicest moments we ever shared, and it lasted...
[Close shot of JACK.]
[Sound of a woman humming "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off".]
[Wide shot of JACK and KEVIN as they pause, stand up, walk toward the camera, and look off.]
NARRATOR: ...about twelve seconds.
[Close shot of KEVIN looking off.]
[Wide shot of the neighbor kneeling in her garden. The camera zooms in slowly.]
NARRATOR: Now she was just a woman, working in her garden, weeding her tomatoes.
[Shot of KEVIN and JACK.]
NARRATOR: She didn't know we were there.
[JACK grins.]
NARRATOR: And we'd certainly never seen her before.
[Close shot of the neighbor fussing with a plant.]
NARRATOR: It was all just kinda...
[Shot of KEVIN looking off.]
NARRATOR: ...a coincidence.
[Close shot of the neighbor as she starts singing loudly. The camera pans from her tomatoes, to the tomatoes in the garden.]
[The camera pulls all the way back to the treehouse.]
[Close shot of KEVIN looking from the neighbor to JACK.]
[Shot of JACK grinning.]
JACK: Hmmph...
[JACK looks at KEVIN.]
[Shot of KEVIN smiling uncomfortably, looking toward the neighbor.]
[Close shot of JACK looking off.]
[Close shot of the neighbor.]
NARRATOR: The weird thing was...
[Shot of KEVIN looking toward JACK off-screen.]
NARRATOR: It was really no big deal.
[Shot of JACK as he starts get nervous.]
NARRATOR: Except for some reason, at that moment, it was a big deal.
[Shot of KEVIN glancing away.]
NARRATOR: It was horrible.
[Shot of KEVIN and JACK, as JACK wipes his hand on his pants and looks the other way.]
NARRATOR: We'd been two men at work...
[JACK turns back nervously.]
NARRATOR: And suddenly everything had changed.
[JACK sips his soda and crosses his arms.]
NARRATOR: Suddenly, we were a father and son.
[KEVIN looks down. JACK holds onto a branch and looks away.]
[Close shot of the neighbor.]
NARRATOR: And a neighbor.
[Close shot of KEVIN looking toward the neighbor off-screen.]
NARRATOR: And there didn't seem to be room up there for the three of us.
JACK [V/O]: Um...Kev?
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: Kev, uh...
NARRATOR: Down went the lines of communication.
JACK: Let's take a break. [Nods.]
[Shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Yeah...
[Shot of the neighbor.]
[Wide shot of KEVIN and JACK.]
KEVIN: OK.
JACK: Yeah...
NARRATOR: And there you had it.
[Wide shot of the treehouse, with the ladder leaning against it.]
[KEVIN leads the way toward the ladder.]
NARRATOR: One minute we were on top of the world, the next minute...
[KEVIN turns around, and knocks the ladder over with his foot.]
JACK: Uh!
[JACK grabs KEVIN and pulls him back.]
NARRATOR: We were up a tree - without a ladder.
[The camera drops lower, looking up at the treehouse.]
Fade to
[Shot of JACK and KEVIN on the couch. JACK is reading a newspaper as KEVIN watches the TV.]
NARRATOR: For the next day or so, Dad and I didn't talk much.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: Let me amend that - we didn't talk at all.
[Wide shot of the guys on the couch, as WAYNE approaches and sits between them.]
[Man on TV -"...freaks of nature."]
WAYNE: Oh, do we have to watch this?
[Shot of the TV. The woman looks at a plant - "How'd they get so big?"]
[Shot of JACK glancing at the TV, then his newspaper.]
NARRATOR: Course...
[Shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: I wasn't really sure if Dad knew that I knew that he saw that I saw what he saw...
[Shot of JACK glancing sideways at KEVIN, and back to his paper.]
NARRATOR: ...or vice-versa.
[Close shot of KEVIN looking off.]
NARRATOR: All we both knew was...
[KEVIN glances at JACK off-screen.]
NARRATOR: We weren't goin' back up that tree.
[Wide shot of the dining room as NORMA enters and puts her purse on the table. She looks toward JACK and KEVIN off-screen.]
NORMA: What's happening with the treehouse?
[Wide shot of the guys on the couch.]
JACK: Uh, we, um...
NORMA [V/O]: Well, what's the matter with you two?
[Close shot of NORMA, pulling items from a green shopping bag.]
NORMA: You were having so much fun up there! I've never seen the two of you work so well together.
[Close shot of KEVIN. He glances at JACK off-screen.]
NARRATOR: Dad? You want to take this one?
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: Well, uh...the forecast said there was a...possibility
of rain.
[Wide shot of NORMA. She frowns and looks out the window.]
[Close shot of JACK.]
NARRATOR: Yeah.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: It said zero possibility.
[Close shot of JACK glancing at KEVIN.]
NORMA [V/O]: Well, as long as I have you two in here...
[Shot of NORMA holding some flat packages.]
NORMA: Maybe you can help me choose a table-setting.
[Shot of JACK looking up from his paper.]
NORMA [V/O]: We could go with the gingham, or the stripes, or the ducks...
[Shot of KEVIN glancing at NORMA, then JACK off-screen.]
NORMA [V/O]: Or, we could mix-and-match...
[Shot of NORMA displaying the packages.]
NORMA: What do you think?
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: Looks like it's clearin' up, Kev.
[Wide shot as JACK slaps the paper on the coffee-table.]
[KEVIN and JACK stand up and start to walk off.]
[Close shot of WAYNE.]
WAYNE: Have fun, huh-huh.
[JACK and KEVIN walk past the camera.]
[Shot of NORMA as the guys walk past her.]
NARRATOR: Sure - fun!
Cut to
NARRATOR: We gave it the old college try.
[JACK marks a line on the board.]
NARRATOR: We tried to ignore it.
[KEVIN starts to saw.]
[Shot of the saw on the board.]
[Shot of KEVIN and JACK. KEVIN glances toward the neighbor, and the saw bogs down.]
[JACK frowns.]
NARRATOR: But we were over-matched.
JACK: Not like that, Kev.
[JACK takes over the saw from KEVIN.]
KEVIN: What's wrong with that?
JACK: You're over the line.
KEVIN: No I'm not!
JACK: Yes, you are!
[JACK glances toward the neighbor.]
JACK: Look, I'll do this. Just go get my hammer.
[Close shot of KEVIN hesitating.]
[Shot past KEVIN of JACK.]
JACK: What?!
[Shot past JACK of KEVIN. He glances at the toolbox in the treehouse. JACK glances over his shoulder, frowns and sighs.]
[Wide shot of the toolbox on the corner of the treehouse. The camera zooms in quickly.]
[Shot of KEVIN and JACK.]
JACK: Never mind - where's your hammer?
KEVIN: I think I left it in the garage.
JACK: How many times I tell ya not to leave your tools lying around?
KEVIN: Well I didn't think -
JACK: Look - just go get it!
[Shot of KEVIN walking toward the camera. JACK is in the background.]
NARRATOR: Face it - we needed help. Someone sympathic. Someone who'd understand.
Cut to
HOBSON: You lucky dog.
[Close shot of PAUL.]
PAUL: I don't believe it!
[Shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: You guys don't understand.
[Wide shot of the three of them at the table.]
HOBSON: I think we do.
KEVIN: Will you cut it out, Hobson?!
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: I could use a little help here.
[Shot of PAUL and HOBSON.]
HOBSON: You don't need help - you need binoculars.
[Close shot of KEVIN sighing and looking off.]
[Shot of PAUL and HOBSON.]
PAUL: Why?
HOBSON: Pfeiffer, you're hopeless.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Look - all I know is this can't go on. My dad and I are at each others throats!
HOBSON [V/O]: In that case...
[Shot of HOBSON.]
HOBSON: There's only one thing to do.
[Shot of KEVIN smiling.]
NARRATOR: At last - a little counsel!
[Close shot of HOBSON.]
HOBSON: Let me build that treehouse.
Cut to
NARRATOR: Well, one thing was clear. Dad and I were in this together, for better or worse.
[The camera pulls back as they walk toward the edge.]
NARRATOR: But wait a minute -
[Wide shot toward the neighbors empty yard. The camera moves slightly around the leaves of the tree.]
[Shot KEVIN and JACK. They look at each other, then sigh and smile.]
JACK: Awright! Let's get goin' here.
[JACK taps KEVIN on the shoulder.]
JACK: We got work to do, huh?
[They smile at each other.]
KEVIN: Yeah!
[They head away toward the ladder.]
NARRATOR: Yeah - let's lap up some studs! Make some noise!
["Papa's Got A Brand New Bag" starts.]
[Close shot of the end of a board as the saw cuts through it.]
[Shot of JACK handing a pry-bar to KEVIN.]
[Shot looking up as JACK lays a plank across the floor joists.]
[Very close shot of a nail getting hit once with a hammer.]
[Close shot of KEVIN sawing.]
[Close shot of JACK kneeling, digging tools out of his toolbox.]
[Very close shot of a nail getting hit once with a hammer.]
[Shop of KEVIN and JACK hammering.]
[Very close shot of a nail getting hit once with a hammer.]
[Close shot of JACK drilling a hole in a board.]
[Very close shot of a hammer wiggling a bent nail out of the floor.]
[Close shot of the edge of the floor, as JACK's hand gives the pencil to KEVIN's hand. KEVIN marks the board.]
[High wide shot of KEVIN and JACK kneeling in the center
of the floor, hammering.]
[Close shot of the toolbox and JACK's legs. KEVIN
hands JACK a tool.]
[Close shot of KEVIN cutting a board with a hand-saw.]
[Close shot of a board as KEVIN measures it with a tape-measure, and makes a mark. KEVIN turns away as JACK moves in with the saw.]
NARRATOR: Yep - we were rollin' now.
[The camera pans up to JACK.]
NARRATOR: Like a smoothly-oiled machine.
[Shot panning up from the hammer in KEVIN's hands to his face. He looks toward JACK off-screen and smiles.]
[Shot from floor level of JACK looking up and smiling at KEVIN off-screen.]
[Close shot of KEVIN smiling.]
[Fade to high wide shot of JACK walking to the saw-horse and setting the toolbox on it. KEVIN catches up, and JACK taps his shoulder as they walk toward the house.]
[Shot of them smiling as they approach the camera, with the treehouse in the background.]
NARRATOR: And who knew? We might even finish it by tomorrow if our luck held out.
[JACK grabs KEVIN around the neck and gives him a knuckle-head.]
NARRATOR: And we didn't get another visit from -
[JACK runs forward past the camera.]
Cut to
[KEVIN looks toward the off-screen table and is mildly surprised. JACK does the same. Music grinds down.]
[Shot of NORMA and the neighbor at the table. A bowl holding a dozen large tomatoes is in the foreground.]
NORMA: Look at the size of those tomatoes, Jack!
[NORMA and the neighbor smile.]
[Shot of KEVIN and JACK as the door closes behind them. They are still a little in shock.]
[Shot of the tomatoes, and part of the neighbor and NORMA.]
NARRATOR: The singing gardener.
[The camera pans up to the neighbor. She looks from the tomatoes to the guys off-screen and smiles.]
[Wide shot from behind the women. JACK looks uncomfortable.]
JACK: Yeah...
[Shot of NORMA and the neighbor. NORMA gestures.]
NORMA: This is Donna. My husband, Jack.
[ Shot from behind Donna as she holds her hand out. JACK hesitates, waving his hand in the air.]
JACK: Ah, nah, my hands are dirty - I've been working. [Gestures.]
[Shot of NORMA and DONNA, as DONNA has her hand out.]
DONNA: That's OK - my hands have been in the dirt all day.
[JACK smiles and shakes her hand.]
NORMA [V/O]: And that's my youngest - Kevin.
[KEVIN is still a little stunned, with his mouth hanging a bit.]
DONNA: Well, hi, Kevin!
[JACK still has a frozen smile, and elbows KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Uh...hi.
[KEVIN shakes her hand and smiles. KEVIN glances at NORMA, then JACK.]
NORMA [V/O]: Donna and I met at the supermarket.
[Shot of NORMA and DONNA.]
NORMA: We started talking in the checkout counter and it turns out Donna lives on Oakdale almost right behind us! [Gestures.]
DONNA: Yeah, just a little over from here!
[Shot of KEVIN glancing up at JACK. JACK still has a frozen smile.]
NORMA [V/O]: So she told me about her tomatoes...
[JACK is still smiling and glances down at KEVIN.]
NORMA [V/O]: And said she'd bring me some.
DONNA [V/O]: Uh-huh...
NORMA [V/O]: And I told the checker...just to put mine back!
[Shot of NORMA and DONNA. NORMA smiles excitedly and looks at DONNA.]
NORMA: Didn't I? [Laughs.]
DONNA: Well, then...
[DONNA is smiling as she turns from NORMA toward the guys.]
DONNA: I guess I just had to bring 'em, huh?
[She turns back toward NORMA and shrugs. They both laugh.]
[Shot of KEVIN and JACK as JACK forces a laugh. KEVIN smiles.]
NARRATOR: Well!
[JACK glances at NORMA.]
NARRATOR: This was homey!
[Shot of NORMA and DONNA smiling.]
[Shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: I just sort of stood there, but fortunately...
[Shot of KEVIN and JACK.]
NARRATOR: My dad was a little more socially-adept.
[JACK gestures toward KEVIN and himself uncomfortably.]
JACK: We, um...break. [Smiles.]
[Close shot of NORMA frowning.]
NORMA: What, honey?
[Shot of JACK pointing awkwardly at KEVIN.]
JACK: Kevin and me.
[Close shot of NORMA looking a little confused.]
[Close shot of KEVIN looking up at JACK, then toward the neighbor.]
NARRATOR: So, a little small-talk...
[Close shot of JACK grinning toward DONNA.]
[Close shot of DONNA smiling toward JACK.]
NARRATOR: The Arnold charm...
[Shot of KEVIN and JACK. JACK is starting to fidget.]
JACK: Let's go Kev.
[JACK brushes past KEVIN.]
DONNA: It was nice to meet you!
[KEVIN smiles broadly as he backs up.]
NARRATOR: And we were out the door.
[KEVIN slams the door as he hurries off.]
Cut to
NARRATOR: By mutual unspoken consent, my dad and I fell into a plan.
[The camera moves up and in.]
NARRATOR: Work as hard as we could, as fast as we could - and get out of that tree. As our hammers rang in the air, bending metal and steel to our wills...an amazing thing happened - we found a common bond.
[The camera stops at eye-level with JACK and KEVIN.]
JACK: Nails.
KEVIN: Here.
[KEVIN hands some nails to JACK.]
KEVIN: Pry-bar.
JACK: Yo.
[JACK hands it to KEVIN.]
JACK: I need a, uh...
[JACK holds his hand out.]
KEVIN: Ratchet.
[KEVIN hands it to him.]
JACK: Yeah, and some, uh...
[KEVIN hands him some screws.]
KEVIN: Wood screws.
JACK: Dammit! Where's the...
[KEVIN takes the pencil from behind his ear and hands it to JACK.]
KEVIN: Pencil.
[JACK takes it and looks at KEVIN.]
JACK: Yeah.
[Very close shot of JACK's hand and face as he works. KEVIN is in the background prying out a nail.]
NARRATOR: It was almost...heroic. There we were, two men, side-by-side...
[Wide shot of both of them working.]
NARRATOR: Struggling without words...
[JACK stands up, gets a board, and swings one end toward
KEVIN.]
JACK: Kev.
NARRATOR: Against the thing we couldn't talk about - running from a common enemy.
[Close shot of the camera panning across the board to KEVIN.
NARRATOR: Running from -
NORMA [V/O]: Ready or not - here I come!
[KEVIN pauses, then glances toward JACK off-screen.]
[Shot of KEVIN in the foreground and JACK in the background.]
KEVIN: Mom.
JACK: Norma.
[KEVIN looks off, then toward the off-screen ladder.]
[Shot of NORMA smiling as she reaches the top of the ladder.]
NORMA: Well! This is fun! [Smiles.]
[Shot of KEVIN and JACK as the neighbor starts singing.]
[Shot of NORMA.]
[Shot of KEVIN and JACK. JACK glances toward the neighbor, then hold his hand out toward NORMA.]
JACK: Uh, Norma, the footing up here is a little tricky.
[KEVIN backs up next to JACK.]
KEVIN: Yeah - It's not all nailed off! You don't want to fall!
[Close shot of NORMA standing up and smiling.]
NORMA: Oh, don't be silly. It feels sturdy to me!
[Shot JACK and KEVIN. JACK holds a branch above KEVIN and they try to act non-chalant.]
[Close shot of NORMA looking off.]
NORMA: Oh! And just look at this view!
[Shot of KEVIN standing with his hands together, as JACK looks in the opposite direction.]
JACK: Yeah!
[JACK gestures away from the neighbor and smiles.]
[NORMA approaches and ducks under JACK's arm.]
NORMA: Excuse me!
[Close shot of KEVIN looking at JACK off-screen.]
[Close shot of JACK looking at KEVIN, then frowning and sighing.]
[Close shot of NORMA from behind as she looks off.]
NORMA: Oh.
[Wide shot of all three.]
NARRATOR: Now at that moment, it's possible a simple explanation would have helped.
[Close shot of NORMA from behind as she looks off.]
NARRATOR: But of course...
[Close shot of KEVIN looking from NORMA to JACK.]
NARRATOR: We couldn't talk about it at all.
[Shot past KEVIN off JACK. He frowns, sighs, and looks off.]
[Close shot of NORMA from behind as she looks off.]
NORMA: Oh.
[NORMA slowly looks over her shoulder toward JACK.]
[Shot of JACK as he smiles sheepishly, then looks down.]
[Close shot of KEVIN smiling in sympathy.]
[Shot of all three as NORMA turns back to the guys.]
NORMA: Well, I should start dinner.
[She looks at JACK, then exits.]
NARRATOR: And that was that.
[Close shot past JACK of KEVIN, looking from NORMA to JACK.]
NARRATOR: We'd been accused, tried, and convicted.
[Shot past KEVIN of JACK. JACK frowns and sighs.]
NARRATOR: And suddenly I had an awful feeling that I knew what that sentence would be.
JACK: Son...
[Shot past JACK of KEVIN.]
[Shot of JACK glancing toward the neighbor.]
JACK: We have to talk. [Nods.]
[Close shot of KEVIN. He looks around.]
NARRATOR: There was no escape. It had come down to this.
[KEVIN looks at JACK.]
NARRATOR: "The Talk".
[Shot of KEVIN and JACK. JACK claps his hand on KEVIN's shoulder.]
[Close shot of KEVIN as he has a flash-back.]
[Eerie music plays as DOUG's face appears. "I actually had to listen to my dad say 'genitals'". The screen returns to KEVIN looking at JACK.]
[Close shot of JACK frowning.]
JACK: Son...
[Close shot of KEVIN waiting.]
[Close shot of JACK nodding.]
JACK: I think you're too old for a treehouse.
[Close shot of KEVIN looking surprised.]
KEVIN: Huh?
[Shot of both. JACK frowns.]
JACK: I'm goin' inside.
[JACK tosses his pencil down, and exits past KEVIN and the camera.]
[KEVIN looks after JACK off-screen, then back, and sighs.]
Fade to
NARRATOR: My father and I never had the talk. And we never finished the treehouse.
[Close shot of KEVIN looking down and eating. He glances at JACK off-screen.]
[Shot of JACK absent-mindedly eating.]
NARRATOR: I guess some things between fathers and sons are left unspoken, and unfinished.
[Shot of KEVIN and WAYNE. WAYNE gestures with his fork and frowns.]
WAYNE: Don't we have any vegetables?
[Close shot of NORMA frowning slightly at WAYNE, then glancing sideways at JACK off-screen.]
[Shot of JACK frowning and glancing at WAYNE off-screen, then sighing.]
[Shot of KEVIN and WAYNE as WAYNE picks at the
chicken carcass.]
[Shot of JACK slowly putting a forkful of food in his mouth
as he is lost in thought.]
[Shot of KEVIN chewing, and looking from JACK to NORMA off-screen.]
[Wide shot from the kitchen. The camera pulls back slowly.]
NARRATOR: And for years after that, my mother could never say the word "tomato", without giving my dad a funny look.
["Let Me Tell Ya "Bout the Birds and the Bees" starts.]
[The camera rolls all the way back into the dining room, and shoots through the doorway.]
Fade to
[A board and railing pop apart, and one end drops down.]
[Music continues over credits.]
Fade to
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