NARRATOR: Every family has it's chain of command.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: From the pawn...
[The camera pans across WAYNE, KAREN, and NORMA.]
NARRATOR: ...through the established ranks...
[The camera stops on JACK, who looks worried.]
NARRATOR: ...to the lord and master of all things great and small.
[Close shot of KEVIN smiling.]
NARRATOR: But one week out of the year, a force would blow into town that even my father could not control...
[Close shot of JACK. He is looking toward the street.]
JACK: To the left...left...
[Shot of the street and driveway as ALBERT tries to back into the driveway. He is singing happily to himself.]
NARRATOR: ...Grampa Arnold.
[Close shot of JACK and NORMA. JACK looks down, as NORMA looks at JACK and puts a hand on his chest.]
NORMA: Why don't you give him a hand, Jack?
JACK: He knows what he's doing.
[Shot of ALBERT's car. He pulls forward, causing a passing car to slow abruptly.]
[Shot of JACK looking down, and NORMA looking worried.]
[Shot of ALBERT in his car. He gestures at the other motorist.]
ALBERT: My fault entirely! Sorry!
[Closer shot of ALBERT in his car.]
NARRATOR: Within minutes of my grandfather's arrival...
[Close shot of JACK watching ALBERT off-screen.]
NARRATOR: My father would find some household chore to keep him busy...
[Close shot of KEVIN looking at JACK off-screen.]
NARRATOR: Until Gramps pulled out again.
[Close shot of ALBERT as he backs up.]
NARRATOR: Not that I understood exactly why...
[Close shot of the car backing into the Arnold lamp-post.]
[Shot of JACK and NORMA. JACK looks at NORMA.]
JACK: Well, I better get started on the gutters.
[JACK sighs, and starts to walk away.]
[Shot of Albert's car in the drive-way, next to the up-rooted lamp-post. ALBERT opens the door, gets out, and looks at the lamp-post.]
[Closer shot of ALBERT. He looks toward the Arnolds's, smiles and gestures.]
ALBERT: Hey! I made it! Hah-hah-hah.
Cut to
ALBERT: Ow, ow, oh...Stop it - you're hurting my hand! Ohh!
[Close shot of NORMA at the sink, smiling.]
[Shot past ALBERT of KEVIN smiling.]
NARRATOR: To me, Gramps was a funny old guy who pulled silver-dollars out of my ears.
KEVIN: Grampa...
[Close shot past KEVIN of ALBERT smiling broadly.]
ALBERT: What have you been doing - lifting weights or something?
[Wider shot of KEVIN and ALBERT, and KAREN and WAYNE. ALBERT slaps KEVIN's shoulders and smiles.]
[KAREN is looking at the scarf ALBERT gave her.]
KAREN: Grampa, this is really beautiful!
[Close shot of ALBERT smiling.]
ALBERT: Oh, well I'm glad you like it. It belonged to your grandmother.
[Shot of KAREN smiling as she rolls up the scarf.]
ALBERT [V/O]: I didn't know if you kids still wore these things or not.
[KAREN rises, and ties the scarf around her leg.]
KAREN: No, it's perfect! [Smiles.]
[Close shot of ALBERT looking puzzled.]
[Shot of NORMA at the refrigerator.]
NORMA: Albert? Would you like something to drink with your lunch?
[Wider shot of KEVIN and ALBERT, and KAREN and WAYNE.]
ALBERT: No, no - nothing for me. But how about a big glass of milk for my boy, here?
[ALBERT gestures toward KEVIN.]
[Shot past KEVIN of ALBERT leaning close, smiling and making a fist.]
ALBERT & NARRATOR: We gotta keep those bones nice and strong.
[Close shot of KEVIN smiling.]
NARRATOR: Like I said - a real cornball.
[Shot past KEVIN of ALBERT. ALBERT looks toward WAYNE off-screen.]
ALBERT: Oh...Wayne.
[ALBERT takes a whistle from his pocket, and blows it.]
ALBERT: Remember this?
[Shot of KAREN and WAYNE at the table.]
WAYNE: No...
[Close shot of ALBERT.]
ALBERT: Oh, sure you do...used to play with it all the time...
[Shot of KAREN and WAYNE.]
ALBERT [V/O]: When we were in that old house. You'd take it out into the yard, and you'd say...
[Close shot of ALBERT gesturing with both hands.]
ALBERT: "Fly away birdies, I'm comin' to get ya..."
[ALBERT blows the whistle again and smiles.]
[Shot of KAREN and WAYNE, as ALBERT sets the whistle on the table near WAYNE.]
WAYNE: Okay...
[Close shot of KEVIN as NORMA brings him a glass of milk.]
NORMA: Wayne...thank Grampa for the gift!
[Shot of KAREN and WAYNE at the table.]
WAYNE: Oh, yeah, thanks...
[WAYNE takes the whistle and rises.]
[Close shot of ALBERT looking happy.]
[Wider shot of all as WAYNE approaches the camera.]
WAYNE: I'm gonna go test it right now.
[WAYNE exits past the camera, frowning.]
NARRATOR: So he was a little out of touch with our generation.
[Shot of KEVIN and ALBERT.]
ALBERT: Come on - drink up, drink up, drink up!
[Close shot of KEVIN as he drinks a few swallows of milk and smiles.]
NARRATOR: But there was something about Gramps that made me feel like I was five years old again.
[Close shot of ALBERT. He leans forward and smiles at KEVIN.]
ALBERT [V/O]: Say...
[Close shot of ALBERT as he snaps his fingers and smiles at KEVIN off-screen.]
ALBERT: I just remembered...
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
ALBERT [V/O]: I got you a present too.
[Shot past KEVIN of ALBERT. He holds up his car keys and smiles.]
ALBERT: I think I left it in the car.
[Close shot of KEVIN smiling, and running off.]
Cut to
[Close shot of KEVIN and ALBERT looking at the dog and smiling.]
KEVIN: I can't believe it.
[KEVIN starts to open the door.]
[Shot of Buster looking up sleepily.]
[Close shot of ALBERT smiling.]
ALBERT: You like him?
[Shot of KEVIN picking up Buster and turning around, smiling.]
KEVIN: I love him!
[Close shot of ALBERT.]
ALBERT: Well, the last time I was here, that's all you could talk about, so I figured - why not?
[Close shot of KEVIN cuddling the dog and smiling.]
NARRATOR: "Why not" - two glorious words that separate the men from the boys - the doers from the sayers.
JACK [V/O]: We're not keeping that dog.
[Close shot of ALBERT and JACK. ALBERT straightens up and turns toward JACK.]
NARRATOR: The fathers from the grandfathers.
ALBERT: Good afternoon, John. Nice to see you again.
JACK: Dad.
KEVIN [V/O]: Come on, Dad.
[Wider shot of all three.]
KEVIN: Please, please, please let me keep him?
JACK: Too much to handle...
KEVIN: I can handle it. I know I can handle it...
ALBERT: The boy's thirteen years old, John.
[Close shot of ALBERT and JACK.]
JACK: I know how old he is. And I know what having a dog in the house means.
[Shot of KEVIN smiling and holding the dog.]
NARRATOR: So did I. It meant stick-throwing...face-licking...romping...
[Shot of JACK. He looks at KEVIN off-screen.]
JACK: Responsibility.
[Close shot of KEVIN thinking.]
NARRATOR: That too.
[Close shot of ALBERT and JACK.]
JACK: A dog chews things. A dog needs to be walked. And I'm not the one that's gonna be the one walkin' him at six in the morning!
[Shot of KEVIN. He shakes his head.]
KEVIN: I promise, you'll never have to walk him...
[Shot of ALBERT and JACK.]
ALBERT: Give the boy a chance, John.
[ALBERT leans a litle closer to JACK.]
ALBERT: A boy needs a dog. Besides...
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
ALBERT [V/O]: I can't take him back for a week.
[Shot of ALBERT and JACK. ALBERT looks at KEVIN off-screen.]
ALBERT: Maybe by then your old man will have changed his mind, huh?
[Shot of KEVIN looking expectant.]
[Close shot of JACK frowning.]
JACK: Hhnhh.
[JACK walks off.]
[Shot of KEVIN and ALBERT, as JACK walks away with a ladder in the background.]
NARRATOR: And there ya had it.
[Shot of KEVIN and ALBERT cuddling the dog.]
NARRATOR: Cornball or not, Gramps was a kindred spirit, a giver of gifts - a prince.
MR. CORY [V/O]: A potato!
Cut to
MR. CORY: On the face of it - an insignificant...pulpy tuber.
[Shot of PAUL and KEVIN at their desks, looking on blankly.]
MR. CORY [V/O]: But consider it.
[Closer shot of MR. CORY standing next to a globe, with his hands on it.]
MR. CORY: What does this potato...have to do with the course...of human events? Hands!
[Shot of the students. No one raises a hand.]
MR. CORY: Genetics! [Gestures.]
[Shot of students looking bored.]
MR. CORY: The transfer...of traits...from generation...to generation - as we shall see from our project.
MR. CORY: Now...!
[MR. CORY picks up some burlap sacks.]
[Shot of the students as MR. CORY puts the sacks on two of the front-row desks.]
MR. CORY: Let's pass them out. Pass 'em backwards!
[Close shot of PAUL turned around toward KEVIN.]
PAUL: What's he doing?
KEVIN: Got me...
NARRATOR: Fact is, I was wondering what I was doing, sitting in Mr. Cory's classroom - when I could be home playing with a puppy.
[Close shot of MR. CORY.]
MR. CORY: For our homework, each of us will take our potato, put it into a glass...
[Shot of the bored students.]
[Shot of MR. CORY.]
MR. CORY: And log the data!
[Shot of the students. They straighten up slightly.]
[Shot of MR. CORY.]
MR. CORY: Heredity - we'll learn from nature!
[MR. CORY gestures and smiles.]
Cut to
ALBERT: You gotta go easy on these frames.
JACK: Dad, the frame's made of maple.
[Shot past JACK of KEVIN and Buster sitting in the distance on the grass.]
JACK [V/O]: One pop isn't gonna crack the frame.
[JACK bangs on the window-frame.]
NARRATOR: Of course when it came to the study of heredity, I was getting a crash course at home.
[Shot of JACK and ALBERT as JACK slides a window-frame into place.]
ALBERT: Patience, son, patience!
[JACK sighs.]
[Close shot of KEVIN petting Buster.]
NARRATOR: And in the midst of it all, something terrible was beginning to happen.
[KEVIN picks up Buster and smiles.]
NARRATOR: I was falling in love.
[Shot of ALBERT pushing on the frame. JACK stands behind him.]
JACK: Dad, I've been putting these windows in for twenty years. I know what I'm doing.
[Shot of KEVIN sitting on the grass with Buster.]
KEVIN: Sit...sit...sit. Good boy. Hey Dad, Dad! Come here - look!
[Shot of JACK and ALBERT at the windows. JACK frowns at KEVIN.]
JACK: What do you want?!
[Wider shot of KEVIN. Buster has wandered off.]
KEVIN: Dad, look!
[Shot of Buster in the flower bed.]
[KEVIN looks down, puzzled.]
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: Kevin? Will you put the damn dog back on the leash?!
[Shot of KEVIN going to retrieve Buster.]
NARRATOR: OK, OK...
[Shot of ALBERT and JACK at the windows. ALBERT turns toward JACK.]
ALBERT: Not bad for an old man, hah?
[Shot of KEVIN and Buster. KEVIN looks at ALBERT and JACK off-screen.]
[Shot of ALBERT and JACK. ALBERT pokes JACK in the stomach and smiles. JACK frowns.]
Cut to
Rowan: Well, I guess you're looking forward to a...good season.
Martin: Yeah, you bet your sweet bippy I am.
[Close shot of ALBERT, with his hands behind his head, and frowning.]
ALBERT: "Bippy"?
[Wider shot of KEVIN and WAYNE lying on the floor, with NORMA, KAREN, and ALBERT on the couch behind them.]
ALBERT: What is that - "bippy"?
[Shot of KEVIN glancing from ALBERT to JACK off-screen.]
NARRATOR: That night, I was noticing a connection.
[Shot of JACK in his chair, looking at a newspaper, then up, and frowning.]
NARRATOR: Every time Gramps opened his mouth, my father would glare a little harder at the puppy.
[Close shot of KAREN and ALBERT, as he frowns.]
ALBERT: That's what people laugh at these days - "bippy"?
[Shot of KAREN on the couch, next to ALBERT.]
KAREN: Well, it's not funny, like - "hah-hah" funny - it's like *loose, wild* funny.
[Close shot of ALBERT.]
ALBERT: You want to see funny, you ought to watch some "Honeymooner's" reruns.
NARRATOR: But wait a minute. What was this?
[Close shot of NORMA smiling.]
NORMA: Oh...! That's Jack's favorite show.
ALBERT: Hmm? Really?
[Shot of JACK looking at the newspaper.]
JACK: One of the best.
[Close shot of ALBERT.]
ALBERT: You ever see the one...where Norton and Ralph bought the hotel?
[Close shot of JACK smiling.]
[Close shot of KEVIN smiling, and looking at JACK off-screen.]
NARRATOR: This was great! By some fantastic coincidence, Gramps had stumbled onto the one thing that made my father really come alive.
[Close shot of JACK smiling.]
[Close shot of KEVIN smiling, and looking at ALBERT off-screen.]
[Close shot of ALBERT.]
ALBERT: Or the one where Ralph forgets Alice's birthday?
[Shot of NORMA laughing.]
NORMA: I love that one!
[Shot of JACK smiling.]
JACK: Yeah, I saw that one.
[Close shot of KEVIN smiling.]
NARRATOR: Heh-heh.
[Close shot of ALBERT smiling.]
NARRATOR: Little did Gramps know that Dad's Ralph Kramden impersonation was legendary.
[Close shot of NORMA.]
NARRATOR: Around our house, anyway.
NORMA: Jack?
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: Hmmm?
[Close shot of NORMA. She smiles.]
NORMA: Do your "Ralph Kramden".
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Yeah, come on, Dad.
[Close shot of ALBERT.]
ALBERT: I didn't know you did imitations, John.
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: Neither did I.
[Wider shot of the group.]
NORMA: Oh, just once - please.
[Shot of KEVIN turning to JACK off-screen.]
KEVIN: Come on, let's see it.
[Close shot of JACK as he puts the newspaper away, and clears his throat in preparation.]
JACK: "One of these days, Alice...one of these days - Bang!-Zoom! - to the moon".
[Sound of laugh-track in the background.]
[Close shot of ALBERT looking on, puzzled.]
[Shot of JACK. He gestures.]
[Shot of KEVIN and WAYNE.]
[Shot of NORMA an KAREN.]
NORMA: Honey...you can do it a little better than that...
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: Well, to do it right, you a little more elbow-room.
NORMA [V/O]: Well...
[Close shot of KEVIN looking at JACK off-screen.]
NARRATOR: OK, so much for the warm-up.
[Shot of JACK as he stands up.]
NARRATOR: Time for Dad to let out all the stops. The patented "Ed Norton double-take".
JACK: "Do it! Will you already?!"
[Shot of NORMA and KAREN. They laugh.]
[Close shot of ALBERT looking on, blankly.]
[Close shot of JACK smiling.]
NARRATOR: And just when it seemed like the sun was never gonna shine again...
[Shot of KEVIN and WAYNE laughing.]
[Shot of JACK smiling and nodding.]
NARRATOR: The clouds began to break.
[Close shot of ALBERT frowning.]
ALBERT: That's Gleason?
[Close shot of JACK.]
[Close shot of ALBERT.]
ALBERT: That doesn't sound like Gleason.
[Everyone stops laughing.]
[Shot of KEVIN and WAYNE. KEVIN frowns.]
[Shot of KAREN and NORMA. KAREN looks down, and NORMA looks toward JACK apprehensively.]
NARRATOR: And then the rains came.
[Close shot of JACK standing with his hands in his back pockets. JACK frowns, and looks down.]
[Shot of Buster sitting next to JACK's feet.]
[Buster looks up and whines.]
[Close shot of NORMA.]
NORMA: Oh, I'll get the paper towels, honey.
[Close shot of JACK frowning.]
Cut to
JACK: I leave the house at seven in the morning. The dog is walked and fed before I come downstairs.
[Shot of JACK as he paces.]
JACK: Is that understood? The dog stays in the basement at all times. You walk the dog after school and at night when you're through with your homework - any questions?
[Close shot of KEVIN holding Buster.]
KEVIN: No.
NARRATOR: No...
[Close shot of JACK frowning.]
NARRATOR: Seemed pretty clear to me.
[Shot of KEVIN as JACK walks toward the stairs.]
NARRATOR: Whatever was going on between Dad and Grampa...
[Close shot of KEVIN looking at JACK off-screen.]
NARRATOR: It added up to one thing.
[Shot of JACK pausing on the stairs, and frowning.]
NARRATOR: Genetically speaking...
[Shot of Buster knocking over KEVIN's potato-growing experiment.]
NARRATOR: I was definitely getting the raw end of the stick.
[Close shot of KEVIN sighing.]
Fade to
MR. CORY: Your dog ate your homework...
[Shot past MR. CORY of KEVIN and PAUL sitting at their desks.]
KEVIN: I-I know it sounds crazy, but...
PAUL: Mr. Cory...
[Close shot of MR. CORY.]
PAUL [V/O]: I've know him for thirteen years.
[Shot of KEVIN and PAUL.]
PAUL: He doesn't lie about stuff like this.
[Close shot of MR. CORY.]
MR. CORY: Your dog ate your homework...
Cut to
[WAYNE rolls over and throws a pillow at KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: Over the next few days...
[KEVIN sits up, momentarily confused.]
[KEVIN turns off the alarm.]
[Shot of KEVIN walking down the basement stairs.]
NARRATOR: One thing became crystal clear.
["Walkin' the Dog" starts.]
NARRATOR: In the battle between boy-against-puppy...
[Shot of the basement, and Buster in his box.]
[Shot of KEVIN sighing.]
NARRATOR: I was gonna have to take control.
[Shot of KEVIN walking on the sidewalk, leading Buster on a leash.]
NARRATOR: No matter what the cost.
[KEVIN walks past a tree. Buster pauses at it.]
NARRATOR: No matter how great the sacrifice.
[Shot of KEVIN waiting, and looking off.]
NARRATOR: No matter how late the hours.
[KEVIN flops down on his pillow in bed, and yawns.]
[Buster is barking.]
JACK [V/O]: Kevin! Kevin!
[KEVIN pulls the pillow over his ears and frowns.]
[Shot of KEVIN walking on the sidewalk, leading Buster on a leash.]
NARRATOR: It was man-against-beast...
[The camera stops on the tree as they both walk by it.]
NARRATOR: A fight to the finish.
[Shot of ALBERT in the kitchen, getting his pills, as KEVIN approaches sleepily.]
[Shot of ALBERT looking at KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: There was only one little problem...
[Shot of KEVIN looking uncertainly back down the hallway.]
NARRATOR: The beast was winning.
[KEVIN looks at ALBERT and frowns, then walks away.]
[Music ends.]
Fade to
ALBERT [V/O]: Working pretty hard are ya?
[KEVIN pauses and smiles.]
KEVIN: I guess so.
[Shot of ALBERT. He pokes at KEVIN's chest.]
ALBERT: It's not easy raising a puppy. Toughest job there is.
[KEVIN smiles.]
KEVIN: He's learning, though.
[ALBERT moves closer and puts his arm around KEVIN's shoulder.]
ALBERT: Tell ya what, nice hard-working lad like you - how about I take you down for a nice big banana split from the ice cream store?
[Shot of KEVIN and ALBERT, with JACK working on the lamp-post in the background. KEVIN smiles and starts to open the car door.]
[JACK approaches.]
JACK: Where ya going?
[Shot of ALBERT in front of his car.]
ALBERT: Well, I'm going to take the boy for some ice cream - come along if you like.
[Close shot of KEVIN and JACK.]
JACK: Kevin, did you walk your dog?
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: I was...gonna walk him when I get back.
[Close shot of JACK frowning.]
JACK: You're gonna walk him now.
[Close shot of KEVIN,]
KEVIN: But Dad...
[KEVIN sighs and looks off.]
ALBERT [V/O]: Cut the boy some slack, John.
[Close shot of JACK looking at ALBERT off-screen.]
ALBERT: It can wait twenty minutes.
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: No, Dad, it can't wait twenty minutes.
[Shot of ALBERT. He sighs and looks down.]
JACK: If the dog has gotta go...
[Close shot of ALBERT frowning.]
JACK [V/O]: He isn't gonna wait twenty minutes.
[Shot of KEVIN frowning.]
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: You like to wait twenty minutes?
[Close shot of ALBERT.]
ALBERT: Not for my ice cream.
[Close shot of JACK frowning.]
[Close shot of ALBERT frowning.]
[Shot of JACK and KEVIN. KEVIN looks at ALBERT off-screen.]
KEVIN: I guess I better walk the dog, Grampa.
[Close shot of ALBERT frowning.]
ALBERT: Suit yourself.
[Shot of JACK and KEVIN. KEVIN frowns and walks forward past the camera. JACK frowns.]
ALBERT [V/O]: Seems a shame though - can't even take my grandson for a little treat.
[Close shot of JACK looking after KEVIN off-screen.]
JACK: Kev!
[Shot of KEVIN walking toward the house. JACK catches up.]
JACK: Kev, wait up!
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: Look, I know it seems I'm being tough...
[Close shot of KEVIN glancing off, then back.]
NARRATOR: Tough? Well, not more than say...Ghengis Khan.
[Shot past KEVIN of JACK.]
JACK: Believe me there's a reason.
[Shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: OK, I was willing to listen to reason.
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: It's just...
[Shot of KEVIN looking away.]
[Sound of ALBERT starting his car.]
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: Well...
[JACK turns around at the sound of screeching tires.]
[Shot of ALBERT driving over the lamp-post and stopping.]
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: Dammit, Dad!
[Shot of ALBERT in his car He opens the door, leans out, and gestures.]
ALBERT: Why do you put this thing so close to the driveway?
[Close shot of JACK frowning.]
JACK: Why don't you stay on the damn driveway?
[Shot of KEVIN and JACK in the foreground, ALBERT in the background.]
ALBERT: Ah...!
[ALBERT slams the door.]
KEVIN: Dad?
[Close shot of JACK turning to KEVIN.]
JACK: What?!
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: What were you going to say?
[Shot of KEVIN and JACK. JACK frowns at KEVIN.]
JACK: Never mind, you wouldn't understand.
[Close shot of JACK looking at ALBERT off-screen.]
JACK: It's about fathers and sons.
[Shot of KEVIN as JACK walks past him, and away.]
KEVIN: Oh.
Cut to
[There is un uneasy silence as WAYNE taps mash potatoes onto his plate.]
[Shot past JACK of KAREN, NORMA and ALBERT sitting in silence.]
[Shot of JACK and KAREN. KAREN drinks some milk, JACK rolls his eyes.]
[Shot of KEVIN and WAYNE as WAYNE finishes with the mashed potatoes, puts the bowl down, and smiles.]
[Wide shot of all from behind ALBERT.]
NORMA: So how is everything?
[Shot past JACK of KAREN, NORMA and ALBERT.]
ALBERT: Delicious, Norma - couldn't be better.
[Close shot of KEVIN glancing around and frowning.]
NARRATOR: Yeah, couldn't be better. "Fathers and sons" - "I wouldn't understand?"
[Close shot of JACK looking at ALBERT off-screen.]
NARRATOR: What had Dad meant by that?
[Close shot of ALBERT as he tastes his mashed potatoes, and frowns.]
[Close shot of JACK frowning.]
JACK: Now what's wrong?
[Close shot of ALBERT frowning and gesturing toward JACK.]
ALBERT: Nothin'...nothin'.
[ALBERT looks at NORMA off-screen.]
ALBERT: Did you, uh...
[Shot of NORMA and KAREN. NORMA looks toward ALBERT.]
[Close shot of ALBERT.]
ALBERT: Did you put pepper in these spuds?
[NORMA looks surprised.]
NORMA: Oh, Albert!
[Close shot of ALBERT. He smiles and pats her hand.]
NORMA [V/O]: I'm so sorry - I forgot.
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: Forgot what?
[Shot of KAREN and NORMA.]
ALBERT [V/O]: Gas.
[NORMA turns to ALBERT and frowns.]
[Close shot of ALBERT. He gestures.]
ALBERT: Pepper gives me gas.
[Shot of KEVIN and WAYNE. WAYNE laughs, KEVIN smacks him.]
[Shot of NORMA hold up corn-on-the-cob.]
NORMA: Oh, maybe you'd like some corn instead?
[Close shot of ALBERT.]
ALBERT [V/O]: No...I think not.
[Close shot of ALBERT. He points at his teeth.]
ALBERT: Corn sticks in my teeth.
[Shot of NORMA, with JACK in the background. JACK drops his fork and starts to squirm in his chair.]
NORMA: Well I'm going shopping tomorrow - maybe I can pick you up some things.
[Close shot of ALBERT shaking his head and gesturing.]
ALBERT: Don't you be foolish, Norma. You buy everything the same way you always do.
[Close shot of JACK frowning.]
JACK: Sure...spend another day cooking a meal he won't eat.
[Close shot of KAREN holding a bowl of biscuits.]
KAREN: Grampa, why don't you try some biscuits - they should be easy to digest.
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: He can't eat biscuits. Right, Dad?
[Close shot of ALBERT. He gestures.]
ALBERT: I can't...
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: Tell 'em why not.
[Close shot of ALBERT.]
ALBERT: The starch.
[Close shot of JACK frowning.]
JACK: Too much starch, Norma.
[Shot of KEVIN frowning.]
[Shot of KAREN and NORMA.]
KAREN: Um, Mom, I've got a... a date.
[KAREN stands and exits.]
[Wider shot of all.]
WAYNE: Yeah, me too.
[WAYNE follows KAREN out.]
JACK: She spent a lot of time cooking this meal.
[Close shot of ALBERT.]
JACK [V/O]: The least you could do -
[ALBERT frowns and puts his hands together.]
ALBERT: John! Pepper gives me gas, alright?
[Close shot of JACK.]
[Close shot of ALBERT.]
ALBERT: The potatoes have pepper in 'em.
[Shot of KEVIN. He frowns and sighs.]
JACK [V/O]: Forget the damn potatoes.
[KEVIN sighs and looks off.]
[Close shot of JACK as he taps the table.]
JACK: What I'm talking about is a little respect here.
[Close shot of KEVIN. He gestures.]
KEVIN: Can I say something please?
[Close shot of JACK glancing at KEVIN off-screen.]
JACK: Kevin! Just stay out of this.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: I -
[Close shot of JACK frowning.]
[Close shot of KEVIN turning quickly toward ALBERT off-screen.]
[Close shot of ALBERT looking at JACK off-screen.]
[Close shot of NORMA.]
NORMA: Honey...
[Close shot of KEVIN. He shakes his head.]
KEVIN: It's OK, Mom.
[KEVIN stands up.]
[Wide shot of all, as KEVIN throws his napkin down, frowns over his shoulder and walks off past the camera.]
ALBERT: What do you want me to say, son?
[Close shot past JACK of ALBERT gesturing. KEVIN turns the corner in the background.]
JACK: What do you want me to say?
[Shot past ALBERT of JACK and NORMA.]
JACK: You waltz in here...[looks toward NORMA]...you pick at my wife's food...you run over my lamp-post...[gestures]...and you bring a dog!
[Shot over JACK's shoulder of NORMA and ALBERT. He frowns and gestures.]
ALBERT: The dog was a gift, John. What do you want from me?
[Cut to shot of KEVIN in the basement, settling next to Buster and picking him up. KEVIN looks toward the background voices.]
NARRATOR: They just kept on arguing. They didn't even notice I'd gone.
[Fade to shot past JACK of ALBERT, and NORMA standing in the background.]
JACK: You didn't even bother to ask my permission!
ALBERT: Oh! Now I have to ask your permission to give my grandson a dog?!
[KEVIN enters the kitchen with Buster, and stands next to ALBERT.]
JACK: Yeah, Dad. My permission!
[Shot past ALBERT of JACK.]
JACK: Is that too much to ask when you're in my house?!
[Shot past JACK of ALBERT, KEVIN, and NORMA.]
JACK: I don't tell you when to come and go.
ALBERT: You want me to go - I'll go!
[ALBERT throws his napkin onto the table.]
[Shot past ALBERT of JACK jabbing his finger at ALBERT.]
JACK: That's up to you!
[Shot ALBERT and KEVIN, and NORMA looking on.]
KEVIN: Dad?
ALBERT: I'd go tonight - except I didn't bring my other glasses.
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: You're driving around without your driving-glasses...
[Shot of ALBERT, KEVIN and NORMA.]
[ALBERT shrugs and gestures.]
KEVIN: Grampa?
[Close shot of JACK. He wave his arm.]
JACK: How can you forget your damn driving-glasses?!
[Shot of KEVIN and ALBERT.]
ALBERT: I forgot 'em - it's as simple as that!
KEVIN: Listen to me!
[Close shot of JACK looking at KEVIN off-screen.]
[Close shot of KEVIN. He is near tears.]
NARRATOR: I wanted them to tell me why they were fighting.
[Close shot of JACK. He looks down.]
NARRATOR: Why they kept hurting each other like this.
[Shot of ALBERT, KEVIN and NORMA. ALBERT rubs his forehead and frowns.]
NARRATOR: Why it was that the two men who meant the whole world to me...had to act like - children.
[Close shot of JACK. He frowns and looks off.]
NARRATOR: But most of all, I just wanted them to stop.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Here.
[Shot of KEVIN giving the dog to ALBERT.]
[KEVIN looks at JACK off-screen, then ALBERT.]
KEVIN: I don't want the dog.
[KEVIN exits. ALBERT frowns and looks at JACK off-screen.]
[Close shot of JACK. He frowns and looks at ALBERT off-screen.]
Cut to
NARRATOR: That night a thought about the gifts Gramps had brought me.
[Home-movie clips of ALBERT and KEVIN during previous visits.]
NARRATOR: How giving gifts used to be so simple. And life was a never-ending bounty of riches...I thought would never end.
[Shot of KEVIN's door as ALBERT opens it.]
[Close shot of KEVIN shutting his eyes as the light crosses his face.]
[Shot of ALBERT in the doorway.]
ALBERT: Son?
[Shot of KEVIN feigning sleep.]
[Closer shot of ALBERT.]
ALBERT: You awake?
[Shot of KEVIN feigning sleep.]
[Shot of ALBERT looking at KEVIN off-screen, then closing the door.]
[Closer shot of KEVIN. The camera moves in slowly as he wipes his eyes.]
Fade to
[Shot of the basement stairs and door. KEVIN opens the door and enters.]
[Shot of the basement, and Buster's empty box.]
[Shot of KEVIN looking around in thought.]
[Cut to front lawn. KEVIN walks out the front door.]
[Wide shot of JACK and Buster standing on the sidewalk near the leaning lamp-post. JACK is dressed for work, and is holding Buster's leash, looking at him.]
[Shot of KEVIN looking at them off-screen.]
NARRATOR: I guess I should have been happy. But I wasn't.
[Shot of JACK looking off, as KEVIN approaches. JACK turns toward KEVIN, then looks at Buster.]
[Close shot of Buster.]
JACK [V/O]: Not a bad little pup. He's got spirit.
[Close shot past JACK of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Dad, when did Gramps leave?
[Shot past KEVIN of JACK. JACK looks at KEVIN, then off.]
[Shot of KEVIN. He looks down the street, then looks at JACK and shrugs.]
KEVIN: You didn't send him home, did you?
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: No one ever sent your grandfather home before he was ready.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Oh...
[Close shot of JACK. He takes a breath and looks off.]
JACK: Gramps and I had a little talk this morning, Kev...Well, kind of a talk.
[Close shot of KEVIN looking at JACK off-screen.]
[Close shot of JACK looking down.]
JACK: We kind of agreed that, uh...
[JACK looks at KEVIN and nods.]
JACK: You should keep the puppy.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: You did?
JACK [V/O]: We thought -
[KEVIN frowns and glances away.]
KEVIN: I don't want it.
[Close shot of JACK.]
[Close shot of KEVIN turning away.]
NARRATOR: And I didn't.
[KEVIN looks at JACK off-screen and frowns.]
NARRATOR: I was sick of that puppy.
[Close shot of JACK nodding, and looking down.]
NARRATOR: I was tired of being a pawn.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: First you tell me I can't have a dog - then you tell me I should keep it! [Gestures.] What about my decision? [Frowns.] Doesn't it count?
[Close shot of JACK. He smiles.]
JACK: Course it counts.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Well, you sure don't act like it!
[KEVIN frowns and looks away.]
[Close shot of JACK. He laughs softly.]
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: What's so funny?
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: You remind me of someone I know...
[JACK smiles and nods, then looks down the street.]
JACK: I dunno, I guess it runs in the family.
[JACK looks down, then nods at KEVIN.]
JACK: I hope you decide to keep it, Kev.
[Shot of KEVIN.]
JACK: I think we need a dog. [Nods] You, me, gramps...I think we need to do this.
[Shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: And for some reason, maybe the way he said it, I began to understand.
[Shot of JACK looking at KEVIN.]
JACK: We need a dog, son.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: He wasn't giving me an order. My dad...was asking me...for help.
[Shot of JACK looking at KEVIN.]
[Shot of KEVIN. He glances off, then looks down at Buster and smiles.]
KEVIN: He doesn't have a name...
[Close shot of JACK. He smiles.]
JACK: Well, find him a name.
[Shot of KEVIN.]
[Shot of Buster between JACK and KEVIN's feet.]
[Wider shot of JACK and KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: That morning, as I stood with the man who was my father...
[Shot of KEVIN looking up from Buster to JACK off-screen.]
NARRATOR: The son of my grandfather, the man who would one day be the grandfather of my son's...
[Close shot of KEVIN looking down the street.]
NARRATOR: I realized something.
[JACK smiles and hands the leash to KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: That not all gifts are simple.
[KEVIN hesitates, then takes the leash and smiles.]
NARRATOR: That some battles are fought out of love.
[Shot past KEVIN of JACK. JACK smiles.]
JACK: Come on, lets take him for a walk. [Nods.]
[JACK pats KEVIN on the shoulder.]
[Wide shot of them starting to walk, looking back at Buster.]
[Long shot of JACK, KEVIN and Buster walking down the sidewalk, away from the camera. The Arnold lamp-post leans out of the line of posts.]
["Turn, Turn, Turn" - The Byrds plays.]
Fade to
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