[KEVIN spins the dial.]
NARRATOR: In fact most things are left to chance.
KEVIN: Get married. Give me a pink one.
CARLA: Who is she, Kevin?
PAUL: Marcia Brady. No, no, Nancy Sinatra!
NARRATOR: There's someone for everyone we're told. But the search for that one person to ride through life beside you is serious business. ...Especially when your thirteen.
[Shot of PAUL and CARLA laughing and flirting]
KEVIN: Paul, it's your turn. [PAUL spins.]
NARRATOR: It a matter of trial, error, and pure dumb luck. And of course, Chemistry.
CANTWELL: Do not try this at home.
NARRATOR: Ah, chemistry. Nothin' like it.
CANTWELL: Proceed with your experiments. Remember, observation is the key.
NARRATOR: Uh, huh. There was lots to learn from observing Susan Fisher.
[Shot of SUSAN, a pretty blonde across the room from KEVIN]
CANTWELL: Miss Fisher, will you please read from the laboratory manual.
SUSAN: The following experiment is one involving sodium and chloride, the main components of salt.
NARRATOR: Susan spanned the entire periodic table of elements. She was gorgeous, exotic, and thanks to Donald Walluck, totally unavailable.
[Shot of Donald sitting next to and getting closer to SUSAN.]
NARRATOR: Still, there was something about the way that woman said:
SUSAN: Sodium chloride precipitate
NARRATOR:...that set my blood boilin'
[A hand sticks a pair of laboratory tongs in KEVIN's face.]
KEVIN: Hey!
LINDA: Pay attention or you'll get burned. [She smiles at KEVIN]
NARRATOR: Linda Sloan on the other hand, was my, well...lab partner.
KEVIN: I was paying attention!
LINDA: Sure you were.
NARRATOR: She was smart, funny, and comfortable.
CANTWELL: Mix your precipitants, and stand back.
LINDA: Think we're ready for this?
KEVIN: As we'll ever be.
NARRATOR: No question about it. Linda was really....[their experiment fizzles out]a great guy.
LINDA: Maybe next time.
KEVIN: Sure
NARRATOR: But in chemistry, as in life, the realities are clear. Some combinations make sparks [Donald and SUSAN's experiment is a success] Some don't. With one small footnote:
PAUL [V/O]: Never get involved, Kev.
KEVIN: What's the matter, Paul? Carla Problems?
PAUL: The woman's driving me crazy! She wants me to take her miniature golfing.
KEVIN: So?
PAUL: So I just took her miniature golfing! The woman is killing me. I mean she has me on a leash!
KEVIN: [unsympathetic] Uh, huh.
NARRATOR: You had to take Paul's bellyaching with a grain of salt. The guy was really happy only when he was hen-pecked.
PAUL: Women!
KEVIN: Well, Paul, if you're so miserable why don't you just break up with her?
PAUL: I should, you know, I really should. But then who am I gonna take to the dance Friday night? I mean I can't go alone. Nobody goes alone.
NARRATOR: Well, almost nobody.
PAUL: So who are you going with?
KEVIN: [hesitant] Oh...I'm not sure yet.
PAUL: Oh, I get it. Still planning your move, huh, checkin' out the field?
KEVIN: Yeah, kinda.
NARRATOR: Actually, I'd resigned myself to spending the evening watching Craig Hobson drop dead flies in the punch bowl.
PAUL: I know, why don't you ask her. [shot of SUSAN Fisher talking with friends across the hall]
KEVIN: Susan Fisher? Are you nuts?
PAUL: Why not, she's available.
KEVIN: Paul, she happens to be joined at the hip to Donald Walluck.
PAUL: Man, you've got to put yourself in the loop! Donald and Susan broke up. Carla heard it from Melissa Bemill yesterday at lunch. Go ahead, ask her.
KEVIN: Nah, I couldn't.
PAUL: Come on! Take a chance, you only live once.
NARRATOR: It was powerful logic, assuming of course that Paul, Carla, and Melissa Bemill were right.
NARRATOR: There was only one sure way to find out. [KEVIN slowing walks towards the table SUSAN's sitting at.] I'd just walk right up to her, gather up my courage and....[KEVIN sits down at the table right behind SUSAN's back to overhear. The girl sitting there gets up, disgusted.]eavesdrop.
[KEVIN leans back in his chair.]
SUSAN: I swear! Donald can be so stuck up sometimes. I told him so too.
NARRATOR: Good! Rumor confirmed. Now all I had to do was to get her to notice old un-stuck up Kevin Arnold.
SUSAN: Well, I gotta get goin' now. See y'all later.
[SUSAN leaves as KEVIN leans back too far and falls over on his chair. There are cries of laughter from the other kids]
NARRATOR: Or I could just lie here until school got over and ask the janitor to let me out.
[LINDA appears over head. She's eating an apple]
LINDA: Nice move overall. But your back was slightly arched from the dismount. I'll give it a nine.
KEVIN: [getting up, annoyed] The chair broke, okay!
LINDA: They'll do that on ya...I don't think she saw you anyway.
KEVIN: [defensively] What makes you think I care if Susan Fisher saw me?
LINDA: I don't know. Wild guess. Boy, when it comes to women you don't know anything do you?
KEVIN: What do you mean by that?
LINDA: I mean your technique is a little off. But don't worry, it's correctable. You just need a little advice.
KEVIN: Huh, me? Are you kidding, why would I need advice?
LINDA: Sorry, you're right! What was I thinking of? See ya, Mister Smooth.
NARRATOR: How do you like that, advice! What a joke.
KEVIN: So what's your advice?
LINDA: You wanna ask Susan Fisher to the dance, don't you?
KEVIN:[hesitant] Well, ah..
LINDA: Come, on. Don't kid a kidder. Women know these things; You wanna ask Susan but you don't know what to say.
KEVIN: Well...
LINDA: And you're afraid you're gonna make a fool of yourself, correct?
KEVIN: Kinda
NARRATOR: Kinda?! This girl was reading my mind like a phone book.
KEVIN: So how should I do it?
LINDA: Let's see. How 'bout something like, "hi, Susan. I was wondering if you'd like to go to the dance with me."
KEVIN: [enthusiastic] Really?
LINDA: Works for me. Just be casual. Don't look anxious or nervous. Be yourself.
KEVIN: Think she'll say yes?
LINDA: That depends on whether or not she wants to go to the dance with you.
KEVIN: I'm serious!
LINDA: Well, why not. You're a cute guy, [KEVIN smiles away.] but don't let it go to your head. Look, there's only one way to find out. Just march right up and ask her....
NARRATOR: Sounded simple enough. Just march right up and ask her....as soon as I had the nerve.
PAUL: Carla's mad at me.
KEVIN: [disinterested] Again?
PAUL: I forgot our three month anniversary. She was expecting roses.
[KEVIN spots SUSAN across the hall at her locker, talking to friends.]
KEVIN: [suddenly anxious and jumpy] I'm sorry Paul, but I gotta g--
PAUL: [too busy venting] She knows I'm allergic to flowers! I'm telling ya, I'm seriously thinking of becoming a bachelor again. I mean, look at you, no woman controls your life.
KEVIN: [trying to leave] Paul, I'll talk to you later, okay? [KEVIN sees SUSAN starting to leave.]
PAUL: What if the day comes when I don't feel like playing miniature golf!
KEVIN: [over his shoulder] I'll see you later!
NARRATOR: I couldn't worry about Paul. Right now I had a rendevous with fate.
[KEVIN runs up behind SUSAN and stops her at the stairs]
KEVIN: Susan! [Out of breath] Hi.
SUSAN: Hi,......
NARRATOR: Kevin. Kevin!
SUSAN:...Kevin.
NARRATOR: [phew!]
KEVIN: [at a loss for words] How are you?
SUSAN: Fine thankyou. How are you?
NARRATOR: Alright, now devastate her with your wit.
KEVIN: So, ah, could you believe Cantwell today?
SUSAN: He's quite the character.
KEVIN: Yeah.
NARRATOR: Good, good. Now Linda said just be yourself, so ....a little bit of hesitation for just the right effect and....
KEVIN: So, ah, I was wondering if you wanted to ah...
[Donald comes up and grabs SUSAN aside]
DONALD: Susan, Susan we have to talk.
SUSAN: [stopping and facing Donald] Donald! I was talking to Kevin. [they continue off]
NARRATOR: Unbelievable. I'd blown a golden opportunity and whose fault was it?
LINDA [V/O]: Mine?!
KEVIN: I just shouldn't have asked her in the first place.
LINDA: Seems to me you didn't ask her out at all. Seems to me you chickened out.
KEVIN: I didn't chicken out. Just that I think she's back together with Donald, that's all.
LINDA: [surprised, thinking of something] Oh.
KEVIN: Look, it's no big deal, I mean I'm just not going to the dance. [KEVIN walks off.]
LINDA: [disappointed] Oh.
LINDA: [running back up to KEVIN] Hey, wanna hear a stupid idea?
KEVIN: What?
LINDA: Oh, nah. Forget it. It's really stupid.
KEVIN: No, what?
LINDA: Well, I was thinking... since you're not going to the dance, and I'm not going to the dance, why don't we go together?
KEVIN: Together?
LINDA: [enthusiastic] Yeah, [but firm] as friends.
KEVIN: As friends.
LINDA: Why not, it might be fun.
NARRATOR: She did have a point. Another Friday night sharing the couch with Wayne and Delores wasn't exactly enticing.
KEVIN: [smiling] Well, why not?
LINDA: [excited] Great! [She runs to her bus.]
[KEVIN turns around.]
NARRATOR: Sure, why shouldn't two friends go to a dance together? and to think I'd almost humiliated myself by asking...
SUSAN: [appearing behind KEVIN] Kevin? Where did you run off to?
KEVIN: [flustered] Oh, I ah...
SUSAN: I thought you were going to ask me something.
KEVIN: I was?
SUSAN: Something about science class?
KEVIN: Oh, that, umm...
NARRATOR: Okay, now keep calm. Say something brilliant.
KEVIN: What's the atomic weighted varium?
NARRATOR: Uhhhh-Huhhh.
SUSAN: I'm sure I don't know.
KEVIN: Oh well, I'll just look it up.
SUSAN: [inquisitive] Are you goin' to the dance on Friday?
KEVIN: [surprised] Yeah! I mean, I think so.
SUSAN: [flirting] I hope so.
NARRATOR: Huh?!?!
SUSAN: [shrugs] Maybe you'll save me a dance then. 'Kay? [SUSAN walks away. KEVIN is beaming.]
NARRATOR: Was she joking? Save her a dance? I'd save every tango, every twist, every groove in the book! And suddenly my life was complete, this was bliss! No, more than bliss. This was Susan Fisher and me....[LINDA knocks on her bus window to get KEVIN's attention and waves at him.] and of course, Linda.
[commercial break]
PAUL: It's killing me!
KEVIN: Don't give up now, it's only two.
PAUL: [raising himself up on the bar] No, I mean this whole thing with Carla.
KEVIN: Well, did you get her the roses?
PAUL: Cost me eight dollars and sixty-seven cents. Not to mention this rash on my arm. [PAUL motions with his head to his arm.] Lucky thing she didn't ask for carnations. Carnations give me shingles. It's getting too complicated. Maybe I should just break up with her.
KEVIN: Paul--
PAUL: Maybe I'll go to the dance with you.
KEVIN: I, ah, I can't.
PAUL: [jumps down from bar, excited] You're going with Susan Fisher?
KEVIN: Not exactly, but she did ask me to save her a dance. [KEVIN smiles.]
PAUL: [enthusiastic] Alright!
KEVIN: Except, umm, my date is Linda Sloan.
PAUL: You dog!
KEVIN: Huh?
PAUL: Babes crawlin' all over you. What a life.
KEVIN: Paul, it's not that great, okay?
PAUL: [doesn't believe his ears] Yeah, right!
KEVIN: Paul, really! What am I gonna do? I can't be with two girls at one dance.
PAUL: I see what you mean. In that case there's only one solution. You gotta ditch one of them. [KEVIN hangs his head in disappointment; it's not what he wanted to hear.] Hey! It's the only honorable thing to do.
NARRATOR: Honorable, sure. But I wasn't just gonna ditch Linda. I was thinking of a more galant plan of action. I was going to weisel my way out of this.
LINDA: So what time are you picking me up tomorrow night?
KEVIN: [uncomfortable] Uhh, Linda,....did we say we were definately, definately going together?
LINDA: I thought so, why?
KEVIN: Uh, nothing, it's just--
LINDA: [sticks the tongs in his face] I hope you're not trying to weisel your way out of this. 'Cause I already turned down Steve Padway?
KEVIN: Steve Padway asked you to the dance?
LINDA: After you and I said we were going. I wasn't about to let you down. [KEVIN looks away, feeling guilty.]
LINDA: Look, if you want, I'll wear a sign that says Kevin Arnold is just my friend, okay?
KEVIN: [making his decision] I'll pick you up at 7:30.
LINDA: [satisfied] Great.
NARRATOR: Okay, so I'd failed as a weasel. Linda was right, I couldn't let a friend down. Besides, it wasn't like I had to worry about getting flowers to match her dress. This was like going to the dance with Paul.
[KEVIN rings LINDA's doorbell. She opens the door, and KEVIN finds himself looking at a different person. It's LINDA, but she has a pretty dress on and her hair is down and wavy. KEVIN is impressed.]
LINDA: Hi.
NARRATOR: Only not at all.
KEVIN: [hesitant] H--hi.
LINDA: Would you like to come in for a second?
KEVIN: Sure.
[Shot of KEVIN and LINDA looking at photographs in her house]
KEVIN: [interested] You sail?
LINDA: Yeah, my family goes every summer. I was in a competition last year.
KEVIN: You never told me that.
LINDA: [picking up a flower and pinning it on KEVIN] Here, I got something for you. It was either this or one of those plastic lizards.
NARRATOR: The amazing thing is, even with the pretty dress and all the make-up, and even though she was pinning a flower on my lapel, and even though her hair smelt like new-mown hey in a tropical garden on the first day of spring, ...
LINDA: [finishing, smiling up at KEVIN] There.
NARRATOR: she was still the same old Linda. My buddy, my pal.
KEVIN: [impressed] Twenty-foot waves?
LINDA: The boat was going crazy. If we hadn't cut the sheet, we would have gone overboard.
KEVIN: It must be great out there on high seas like that. You know someday I'm gonna take a boat around the world.
LINDA: A sailboat?
KEVIN: Yeah, I think so. Just me and my dad.
LINDA: Have you plotted your course yet?
KEVIN: Well, we haven't really talked about it alot yet.
NARRATOR: Actually I had never said that out loud to anyone in my life.
LINDA: I've got this really great atlas you can borrow sometime if you want.
KEVIN: Sure!
NARRATOR: Okay, I admit it, I was having fun. At least, more than I'd expected.
[KEVIN and LINDA run into PAUL.]
PAUL: Hey guys, where've you been?
KEVIN: Paul, where's Carla?
PAUL: History. I broke up with her! I'm a free man.
KEVIN: [shocked] What?
LINDA: But you guys were so good together.
PAUL: Hey! There's other fish in the sea. Boy! This is gonna be great. The babes, the music. I gotta get out there and sell my wild oats! [PAUL skips happily away.]
["Crimson and Clover" by Tommy Jones and the Shondelles starts to play.]
LINDA: Wild oats?!
KEVIN: It's just an expression.
LINDA: [disapproving] He's fooling himself. He's not gonna be happy. He'll miss her.
[STEVE Padway comes up behind KEVIN and LINDA.]
STEVE [V/O]: Linda?
LINDA: [turning around] Hi, Steve.
KEVIN: [annoyed] Padway, what do you want?
STEVE: [nervously] Uhh, would you like to dance with me? Well, if you don't mind, Kevin.
NARRATOR:'Course I could've said no, technically I mean. Still...
KEVIN: [trying to sound aloof] Hey, you don't need my permission.
LINDA: [unenthusiastic] I'd love to, Steve.
STEVE: Great! [STEVE walks to the dancefloor]
LINDA: [turning to Kevin, annoyed] Thanks a lot!
KEVIN: [encouraging] He's crazy about you. It's obvious.
LINDA: Yeah, right. Now what am I supposed to do?
KEVIN: [using Linda's advice] Just be yourself. Works for me. [he smiles]
[LINDA goes to join STEVE on the dance floor. The height difference between the two is almost comical. While they dance LINDA looks at KEVIN, roles her eyes at him and smiles.]
NARRATOR: It was strange. Watching Linda dance with Steve Padway I felt almost, well, she was funny, and smart, and comfortable, and she--
[SUSAN appears behind KEVIN]
SUSAN: Kevin? Hi!
NARRATOR: Humina, humina, humina..
SUSAN: Ready for our dance?
NARRATOR: Was Rhett Butler ready for Scarlett O'Hara? Was Anthony ready for Cleopatra? As we stepped out onto that dance floor I was prepared to take my place among the world's greatest romancers.
[SUSAN and KEVIN dance very close]
NARRATOR: No more admiring Susan from a distance. She was here, in my arms. The perfect woman, the perfect song, the perfect moment.
[The song has ended. SUSAN and KEVIN are sharing a toast at the punchball.]
KEVIN: Cheers.
SUSAN: Cheers.
NARRATOR: To us. I wanted to enjoy this moment forever. Kevin Arnold with Susan Fisher. Kevin Arnold with the girl of his dreams. [KEVIN and SUSAN look around in an awkward moment of silence.]Kevin Arnold with....absolutely nothing to talk about.
SUSAN: [handing her cup to KEVIN] Would you hold this a minute? I'll be right back.
KEVIN: No sweat.
[SUSAN walks off.]
LINDA: [coming up behind KEVIN] Where'd you disappear to?
KEVIN: [looking uncomfortable] Linda, ah, hi. How was your dance with Steve?
LINDA: It was okay. [Seeing the extra cup of punch in KEVIN's hand] For me?
KEVIN: [abruptly, moving the cup away] No, this is Susan's.
LINDA: [surprised and disappointed] Oh.
NARRATOR: Maybe I didn't say that in exactly the right way.
KEVIN: She's gonna be right back, I mean she's already drunk out of it. But there's more. [Desperately, KEVIN goes to pour LINDA a cup of punch.]
NARRATOR: At that moment I guess I felt like crawling into that punchball and pulling the ice cubes over my head. But I knew I couldn't.
LINDA: She's not so great, you know.
KEVIN: [trying to apologize] Linda...I..
LINDA: Don't say it. I understand.
["Unchained Melody" by The Righteous Brothers starts playing]
LINDA: So, don't mind if I go find Steve Padway do you?
KEVIN: [looking down, ashamed] Don't mind.
LINDA: See ya in science class.
[She slowly goes off in search of STEVE.]
NARRATOR: It was the first heart I'd ever broken, and in a way, my own heart was aching a little too. It didn't seem--fair. I really liked Linda. But the fact was I just didn't feel about her the way...
[KEVIN sees SUSAN dancing close with Donald.]
NARRATOR: Susan Fisher felt about Donald Walluck.
NARRATOR: Maybe she'd just been toying with me or maybe she'd used me to get back with Donald. In any event it was perfectly clear Paul wasn't the only one who'd been fooling himself. [PAUL is sitting down by himself, looking miserable]
CARLA: [over the DJ's Mike] This dance is for Paul from Carla. [She giggles.]
[PAUL looks up, joyful, and goes to find CARLA.]
NARRATOR: All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete.
[Shots of various couples dancing together, PAUL & CARLA, STEVE & LINDA, etc.]
NARRATOR: We choose partners and change partners. We danced to a song of heartbreak and hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect, who might be searching for us.
[WINNIE enters the dance and starts walking amongst the couples. KEVIN does the same. There is a shot from above as the two never meet up and the song ends, with the scene frozen in black and white.]
[Fade out]
Please send a mail to reynders@merck.de Peter if you find any errors, or if you have any comments or suggestions.