Remark: The first scenes are summarized. I hope it's okay since they do not contain any interesting dialogues. Matt Peyser is played by Fred Savage, Jolie by Danica McKellar.
MATT thinks his group has a good chance. Wants to get down to work. Co-workers want to go to happy hour [@ 3:15PM]. They try to convince him to go with them.
[A "flash forward" to scene at happy hour. One of MATT's female co-workers is really drunk, laughing hysterically at MATT's jokes, and hangs all over him.]
MATT says no thanks. Co-workers go to happy hour.
MATT wants to show boss his work. Boss is more interested in chatting with other workers.
Silly boss-worker chat.
MATT tries to show boss work again. Boss not interested.
Cut to
MATT feels unappreciated, says he's going to happy hour. Co-workers are uninterested. MATT says he'll buy drinks.
DELANEY [male co-worker] says the boss will still think MATT is "too good"
MATT slugs DELANEY on jaw. [Running joke in show [?]]
Cut to
Co-workers want to go, MATT wants to stay. Co-workers leave.
MATT asks both girls back to his place.
They say they have [high] school in the morning. [They look 20+ years old.]
MATT is embarrassed and waves them away.
MATT orders drink and sits at bar.
[JOLIE enters and walks directly to bar.]
JOLIE: Seat taken? [Sits on stool.]
MATT: No.
[JOLIE barely glances at MATT.]
JOLIE: Well it is now.
[She takes off leather jacket. MATT looks at her.]
[She taps bar for a shot of whiskey.]
MATT: Oh, my...
[She glances at him.]
MATT: How old are you?
JOLIE: Twenty-one.
[She shoots her whiskey.]
MATT: Oh, my... [Smiles.]
[JOLIE turns toward MATT.]
JOLIE: Say, you look like a nice guy. [Smiles.]
MATT [with straight face]: Oh, no. I'm not. I'm not a nice guy. I'm a bad, bad guy.
[JOLIE moves in a little closer. She looks him right in the eye.]
JOLIE: Well, I'm a bad, bad girl.
[JOLIE smiles and raises eyebrows.]
MATT: So what about going back to my place and doing some things badly? I-I mean, some bad things goodly?
[JOLIE smiles then shrugs.]
Cut to
[MATT enters into the general work area and crosses DELANEY and MALE CO-WORKER #2 to his desk.]
DELANEY [Male co-worker]: You're fifteen minutes late. Walking on the edge, eh Cowboy?
MATT: Well if you must know, after you wimps left I met a girl at the bar, took her home - one night stand and I'm never going to see her again!
DELANEY: Well, well. A situation presented itself, and little Matty went to town.
[MATT smiles and nods in agreement.]
MATT: And I didn't go alone for a change.
MALE CO-WORKER#2: Oh, you're a dog! [He and MATT "high-five".]
MATT [amiles]: I am, aren't I? [Excitedly]: That was the great part about it - it was just sex! No commitments, no baggage, you know - no entanglements.
[TIM, the boss, is in the background, slowly coming forward, making his way into their area.]
MALE CO-WORKER: So, what's this chippie look like?
[Shot of JOLIE walking through door.]
[Shot of TIM, the boss.]
TIM: Jolie?
[Shot of JOLIE still walking.]
JOLIE: Hey, Dad.
[Shot of MATT in surprise.]
MATT: Dad?!
[Shot of JOLIE passing MATT.]
JOLIE [surprised]: Matt?!
MATT: Jolie!
[Shot of female co-worker ABBY.]
ABBY: Matt?
[Shot of DELANEY.]
DELANEY: Matt!
PHIL: I can't believe it. Matt slept with the boss's daughter. [Audience laughs.] What a predicament. [Transcriber's remark: This male co-worker has speech problem like "Elmer Fudd" - (bewieve, pwedikament).]
Fade to
It is a simple shot of a cute baby boy [maybe 18 months old?] smiling at the camera, sitting on floor in a diaper. The camera moves in very slowly as announcer speaks. ANNOUNCER: "Working" is being brought to you, in part, by Upton -Webber. During his lifetime, this baby will live through 14 presidential administrations. He'll eat 200 pounds of ice cream. He'll have sexual relations with 8 women. And he'll settle 3 lawsuits out-of-court. Two of them will be with Upton-Webber. Upton Webber, a source of deep pockets. Since 1892...
[Shot of skyscraper, with little theme music.]
Cut to
[Shot of MATT looking at them.]
[Shot of boss closing the blinds.]
[Shot of MATT in horror.]
MATT: Oh, God! Oh, God!
[MATT starts to panic.]
ABBY: He's hyperventilating. Quick, someone give him a paper bag!
[ABBY gets bag from FEMALE CO-WORKER #1. She hands it to MATT.]
[MATT starts to breathe into the bag, and sits down.]
MATT: I'm fine, just let me sit down.
FEMALE CO-WORKER #2: Matt, what's wrong?
DELANEY: Our boy Peyser had sex with Tim's daughter last night.
ABBY: Sweet Lord!
[She takes bag from MATT as she starts to hyperventilate.]
FEMALE CO-WORKER #2: You slept with Tim's daughter?
MATT: ...
FEMALE CO-WORKER #3: She's his third kid from his fourth remarriage to his fifth wife.
DELANEY: I thought she was his second kid from his third remarriage to his first cousin.
FEMALE CO-WORKER #3: Not according to my chart. [She pulls out a nicely printed up small genealogical chart and points to it.]
[MATT stands up and angrily turns to DELANEY.]
MATT: You know, I never should have listened to you, Delaney! I'm a dead man. Tim's going to kill me.
TIM [V/O]: Peyser!
[Shot of TIM holding door open.]
TIM: Get in here! [He jerks his thumb.]
[Shot of MATT frowning in DELANEY's direction, then starting to walk toward TIM's office.]
ABBY: Matt! I just need to hear it from you. Did you have sex with that woman? [She looks apprehensive.]
MATT: Yes, I-I did.
ABBY: Matt, come on! Just tell me.
MATT: Yes, Abby, I slept with her. We made love. We did it multiple times. [He shrugs trying to convince her.]
[ABBY breaks into hysterics. She leans on his arm.]
[Transcriber's remark: This three or four lines are just like the earlier "flash forward" scene, but not at the bar of course.]
ABBY [still laughing]: You're so funny, tell me another one!
[MATT looks at her like she is crazy.]
Cut to
TIM: Tell me, are you still seeing your therapist?
[JOLIE makes a little face.]
JOLIE: No. No... we broke up. [Big audience laugh.]
TIM: Oh... [He turns towards door.]
[Shot of MATT entering office.]
TIM: Peyser! I understand you've met my daughter.
[MATT stands with his hands together.]
MATT: Yessir, I have.
TIM: Hmmm....
MATT: But I'd like to say it's important not to jump to conclusions.
TIM: Jolie tells me you and she made love until the sun came up.
MATT: Yes, we did. But it was an unseasonably early sunrise. [Gestures.]
[TIM starts to move toward door. JOLIE stands and walks toward MATT.]
JOLIE: Seeya later, bad boy.
[She kisses MATT and walks to door. MATT looks disgusted and wipes his mouth with his tie.]
[JOLIE is just starting to open the door.]
TIM: And Jolie...
[JOLIE makes a little face and glances over her shoulder.]
JOLIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. "Stay away from the naval base".
TIM: .. naval base.
[JOLIE exits, leaving the TIM looking puzzled.]
[MATT is still bothered as TIM turns to him.]
[TIM has his hands in his pockets, and scrunches up his shoulders.]
TIM: I, uh, I can't believe it, Peyser, you and Jolie... [He shuts the door.]
MATT: You have to believe me sir. [He waves his hand.] I had no idea that was your daughter. If I did I would never have done the things I did with her.
[TIM raises his eyebrows.]
MATT [flustered]: N-not that the things I did do with her were inappropriate for such a fine lady of Jolie's backside [He makes an "oops!" face.] Uh, uh, background.
[TIM covers his face and turns away.]
MATT: Backsides is a topic that's better left unexplored. [He is embarrassed and flustered.]
TIM: Peyser, Peyser, please. [He puts his hands out.] We're men. [Gestures.] Not so many words!
[TIM looks away, then back.]
TIM: Don't worry Peyser, I'm not mad.
MATT: You're not? [He looks puzzled.]
TIM: No, no. In fact, I couldn't be happier. Listen, I'd be lying to you if I said Jolie didn't have -uh [gestures] - problems. She dropped out of college, she's had a few run-ins with the police, and frankly [he squirms] she's had some difficulty in the chastity department.
[TIM looks off.]
MATT: I wonder where she got it.
TIM: I blame society.
[They both pause in thought, then TIM turns to MATT.]
TIM: That's why I'm glad she hooked up with you! You're just the kind of influence Jolie needs in her life.
MATT: So you're not going to fire me?
TIM: Why would I fire Jolie's... new...boyfriend? [TIM smiles as he pats MATT on chest, then crosses to his desk to get a cigar. MATT looks surprised.]
MATT: Boyfriend?
TIM: Jolie needs a nice, long, steady relation. And who better to have that with than the nicest, most centered boy I know, who's lively-hood depends on me.
[He smiles really big and sticks a cigar in MATT's mouth.]
TIM: Who knows? Maybe someday you and Jolie will get married.
[MATT coughs out unlit cigar and looks horrified.]
Cut to
DELANEY: How'd it go with Tim?
FEMALE CO-WORKER #1: Did he fire you?
MATT: No, he couldn't be happier. He wants me to marry Jolie. [He waves his hand.]
[ABBY laughs hysterically.]
ABBY: That is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.
[ABBY looks at co-workers with the last of her laugh, then turns seriously to MATT.]
ABBY: Right?
MATT: Of course! I don't want to go out with her again, I don't even like her. She reminds me of a girl I grew up with. [He frowns.] I just wanted to sleep with her.
[MATT pulls up chair and sits down.]
MATT: I mean that's the whole idea of a one-night stand. Right Delaney? [He gestures.]
[DELANEY frowns over his coffee cup.]
DELANEY: It's been so long, Matty. [Shakes his head.]
MATT: I try to be bad for once in my life, and I end up being saddled with the boss's daughter.
FEMALE CO-WORKER #1: You're not saddled with Jolie, you're saddled with Tim. You've got to make it so Tim doesn't want you to go out with her.
DELANEY: Tim thinks you're good. Now's the chance to show him you're bad.
MATT: Well, I can't be bad!
FEMALE CO-WORKER #1: You've got no choice, Matt.
MATT: Alright, then. I guess I'll be bad.
DELANEY: You can't "Guess" you'll be bad. [Gestures.] You're too good to be bad. Give it up, Peyser. [He waves his hand.]
[Scene changes to B/W as MATT and DELANEY stand up and approach each other.]
[DELANEY grabs MATT's jacket.]
DELANEY: You ain't bad, you ain't bad. You ain't got what it takes to be bad.
MATT: You want to see who's bad? [Yells.] You want to see who's bad?!
[MATT pushes DELANEY's hands away.]
MATT: Come on, let's do it. I'll show you who's bad.
[Scene returns to color as MATT and co-workers start a dance routine. A mix of Saturday Night Fever/Raging Bull/Urban Cowboy.]
MALE CO-WORKER #1: So what's it going to be?
[MATT turns, and howls like a wolf.]
MATT: Ahhhh-oooohhhh!
[The dance routine winds down as the PERSONNEL DIRECTOR walks up.]
PERSONNEL DIRECTOR: What the hell is going on here?
MATT: We're just having some fun.
PERSONNEL DIRECTOR: Put the tables and chairs back, immediately!
[MATT hesitates, calmly walk up to her, and looks her in the eye.]
MATT: Make me. Ahhhh-Ooooooooh! [Strikes a pose.]
[Short music.]
[To commercial.]
Cut to
[JOLIE notices him and turns in her chair.]
JOLIE: Matt?!
[TIM turns and chokes on his drink as he sees MATT.]
TIM: Peyser? [He is amused.]
[JOLIE jumps out of chair into MATT's arms. They hug and kiss passionately, then separate but still hold hands.]
[JOLIE giggles.]
JOLIE: Hey! Your ears are pierced.
[She smiles and touches his earring.]
MATT: Yeah. I got two upstairs...[He smiles at her, then looks at TIM.]...and one downstairs, if you catch my drift.
[MATT and JOLIE smile at each other.]
TIM: I catch your drift. Your butt-zipper is open.
[TIM zips up zipper in back of MATT's pants. MATT turns around toward TIM. They each have a puzzled look and gesture.]
TIM: Peyser, what the hell are you doing? [He makes a face.] This is not you. [Gestures.]
MATT: It's Jolie. [He sits in JOLIE's chair.] I didn't know who I really was until she unleashed the animal in me.
[MATT looks at JOLIE and pats his leg. JOLIE plops down in his lap and puts her arm around his neck.]
TIM: Peyser, please. please. [Gestures.] I'm trying to convince Jolie to stay in college.
[MATT frowns and glances around.]
MATT [to TIM]: College! [To JOLIE:] What a waste of time. [To TIM:] Worst three years of my life. [Gestures.]
JOLIE: Oh! So you dropped out! [She makes a face at TIM.]
MATT: No, I graduated early on the accelerated track.
[TIM gestures and smiles back at JOLIE.]
MATT: But the important thing is you should do whatever it is you feel like.
TIM: And I think going back to college is what Jolie feels like.
[MATT puts out his hand toward TIM and shakes his head.]
MATT: Trust me Tim. I've felt Jolie... [MATT looks at JOLIE:] and that is not what she feels like.
TIM: Oh! [He covers eyes and turns away.]
JOLIE: Thank you, Matt! Finally, someone who understands me.
MATT: Oh, I understand you, baby. I'll understand you ...all...night...long.
[JOLIE smiles. They hug and kiss passionately.]
[TIM throws up his hand in exasperation.]
TIM: You never really now a guy until he sleeps with your daughter.
[TIM gets up, gestures toward bar-tender, and starts to walk to bar. MATT and JOLIE continue to kiss.]
Cut to
MATT: It worked. It totally worked. Tim doesn't want me anywhere near Jolie.
[Shot of MALE CO-WORKER #1, FEMALE CO-WORKER #1 and FEMALE CO-WORKER #2 standing, looking up from a large book FEMALE CO-WORKER #2 is holding.]
[Shot of MATT stopping next to ABBY's desk.]
[ABBY stands up.]
ABBY: Thank you, God! And now I'll keep my part of the bargain.
[ABBY reaches behind her with scissors and cuts of her ponytail. She sits down.] [Big audience laugh.]
[Shot of three co-workers.]
[Shot of MATT.]
MATT: And you know, I finally got in touch with the bad guy in me, and I kinda like it. [He smiles.]
FEMALE CO-WORKER #2: You can't be serious, Matt.
MATT: Oh, I'm serious. [Gestures.] I had a one-night stand, I completely alienated my boss - I love being bad! [Smiles.]
DELANEY: That's not bad. Nothing you do is bad, nothing you've done is bad, noth-
[MATT punches him on the jaw. He falls to floor [Unseen.]]
DELANEY [V/O]: I forgot about that! [MATT smiles. Audience laughs. Twang of music.]
Cut to
[Knock on door.]
MATT: Who is it?
JOLIE [V/O]: It's me, Jolie.
[Shot of MATT grimacing as he swallows toothpaste. He takes leather jacket from couch and puts it on. He assumes a "bad guy" persona and walks to door.]
[Shot from hallway of MATT opening the door and smiling.]
[Shot of JOLIE.]
JOLIE: You weren't sleeping, were you?
MATT [glancing at toothbrush]: I'll sleep when I'm dead. [Tosses toothbrush.]
[Shot of JOLIE entering and tapping MATT on the chest.]
JOLIE: I gotta talk to you.
[She walks toward center of living room.]
MATT: Start talking.
JOLIE: You got anything to drink?
MATT: Beer's in the 'fridge. Get me one, would ya?
[MATT sits on couch as JOLIE walks back to the kitchen in background and opens refrigerator.]
JOLIE: So listen, um....I made a decision.
[She starts to walk back to living room.]
JOLIE: Selling my stuff, buying a motorcycle, and riding to Alaska.
[She sits on the couch and hands a beer to MATT. She opens hers and takes a drink.]
MATT: Oh, man. I would love to get on a big hog...open her up and just let the wind run through my hair.
[JOLIE smiles.]
JOLIE: Come with me?
MATT: Don't you think it'll be kind of chilly? [Has a wimpy look.]
[JOLIE gives him a little puzzled look.]
JOLIE: Who cares, you can wear your butt-zipper pants.
MATT: Thanks, babe. [He looks away.] But you know, I...I've left a lot of broken hearts in the land of the midnight sun, and I don't want to add to the tally.
[JOLIE frowns.]
JOLIE: You sure?
[MATT turns to her.]
MATT: Hey, I'm a man. When I make a decision, there's no turning back.
[JOLIE smiles.]
JOLIE: But you really inspired me the other night!
MATT: I inspire a lot of people, so what?
[He smiles as he tries to open his beer.]
JOLIE [excitedly]: I don't know, after seeing you so free. So "Looking out for Number One". [Transcriber's remark: This is a self-help book about 15 years ago.]
[JOLIE sets her beer down.]
JOLIE: I thought, "Hey, I can do that, too". You don't really have to go to college.
[She takes his beer and opens it.]
JOLIE: Like you said it's a waste of time.
[She hands his beer to him. He looks at it and frowns.]
JOLIE: And who cares what my father thinks? I'm going to live my life for me! [She taps her chest.] And it's all because of you.
[She smiles at him, then holds his jaw and gives him a kiss. She stands and walks toward door.]
MATT: Wait.
[JOLIE turns and smiles.]
JOLIE: What? You want to come? [Smiles and raises eyebrows.]
MATT: No, I don't want to come. And you...shouldn't go either.
[JOLIE looks a little mad.]
JOLIE: What?!
[MATT stands up.]
MATT: Don't run off to Alaska to piss off you dad. You're throwing your whole life away.
[MATT walk toward her.]
MATT: Look, Jolie. I know you come from a messed up family. But hurting them by motorcycling across the country isn't going to do anybody any good.
JOLIE: Since when do you care about being good!
[MATT sets beer down on table near door [unseen.]]
MATT: Jolie, there's something you should know about me. I got a good streak in me! I got a streak in me so darn good you'd think I was another person. Now, I'm not proud of it. That's...just the way it is.
[JOLIE looks frightened.]
JOLIE: Matt, stop talking like that! You're scaring me.
MATT: Look. You're young... you're beautiful. You got your whole life ahead of you. You should go back to school.
JOLIE: You sound like an "After School Special".
[MATT shrugs.]
MATT: The more you know...
[JOLIE does not look happy.] [Transcriber's remark: ABC put out 1 hour "After School Specials" geared toward kids. Its slogan was "The more you know..."]
Cut to
PERSONNEL DIRECTOR: Attention everyone. The winner of the employee incentive program is the team of Peyser, Delaney, Cosgrove, Clark, Grant and Blum.
[These co-workers celebrate.]
PERSONNEL DIRECTOR: I will now announce the prize.
ABBY: Is it a trip?
FEMALE CO-WORKER #1 [to ABBY]: Maybe it's a company car.
DELANEY: Or merchandise.
MALE CO-WORKER #1: Come on, Hickory Farms! [He stands and crosses fingers.] [Transcriber's remark: "Hickory Farms" is famous for cheese balls and similar gift items.]
PERSONNEL DIRECTOR [shakes head]: It's better than any of those things.
FEMALE CO-WORKER #1: Well, then. What is it?
PERSONNEL DIRECTOR: Cash. Cold, hard cash.
ABBY: Really? How much to we get?
PERSONNEL DIRECTOR: That depends...
Cut to
[TIM enters and sees DELANEY. TIM chuckles.]
TIM [to PERSONNEL DIRECTOR]: We're giving away real money?
PERSONNEL DIRECTOR: There's only fifty dollars in there. He worked 33 hours overtime this week. If he catches half, that works out to seventy-six cents an hour. [Smiles.]
TIM: Oh. [He walks over and taps on the booth. He smiles and waves a DELANEY. DELANEY waves back.]
[MATT enters and meets TIM.]
MATT: Tim, I got to talk to you about Jolie.
[MATT and TIM walk to a quiet area. TIM points at MATT and smiles.]
TIM: You can relax, Peyser. Jolie stopped by last night and told me what you said. I want to thank you for what you did.
MATT: So she's not going to motorcycle to Alaska?
TIM: Oh, no, no, no - she's going. But she promised me she'd enroll in the university when she gets there.
MATT: But you thought I was "bad" [Gestures.] for a little while, huh? [Smiles.]
TIM [laughs]: Come on, Peyser! [Smiles.] You don't have it in you to be bad. When push comes to shove, you're just a nice little goodie-two-shoe -----.
[MATT slugs TIM on the jaw. TIM fall to the floor [unseen.]]
TIM [V/O]: That's not bad!
[MATT smiles and nods his head.] [Audience laughs.] [Twang of guitar music.]
[MATT straightens his jacket, then smiles at TIM (unseen).]
Back to Danica McKellar's biography