Written by Sy Dukane & Denise Moss
Transcribed by Kyle Gittins
Edited by Peter Reynders
[Clip of a Russian [?] spacecraft lifting off the pad.]
NARRATOR: In March of nineteen-seventy-two, a lot of great things...
[Clip of people on the Great Wall of China.]
NARRATOR: Were happening. Events...
[Clip of Presidant Nixon sitting in a chair, speaking and gesturing.]
NARRATOR: That would shape history, and alter...
[Clip of Chairman Mao Tse Tung sitting in a chair, smiling and looking off.]
NARRATOR: The way we think.
[Clips of Governor George Wallace at a podium.]
GOV. WALLACE: Now, I bet ya Mao Tse Tung was askin' 'bout the bussin' business over here...
[Clip of presidential candidate George McGovern shaking hands with a factory worker.]
GEORGE McGOVERN: You fellas know I'm running for President...
[Clip of Edmund Muskie talking to reporters in a light smowfall.]
EDMUND MUSKIE: Good woman...
[Clip of a US bomber dropping its stick of bombs.]
NARRATOR: Still, among all that change, there was a common thread.
[Slow motion clip of bombs exploding in the jungle.]
NARRATOR: One experience that united us all.
Cut to
INT. DAY. CAFETERIA.
[Shot of the double doors as they are opened and a crowd of students approaches the camera. Music "Oom, Mow, Mow" - The Rivington's plays.]NARRATOR: There were those who could never seem to find a place to sit...
[The boy frowns and turns away.]
[Shot of a long-haired guy in the distance, sitting alone.]
NARRATOR: And those no one wanted to sit with.
[He licks some food he is holding.]
[Shot of Winnie and another girl chatting as they approach the camera.]
NARRATOR: Those with natural charm...
[Winnie taps the girl on the arm and gestures, and they pass the camera.]
NARRATOR: And those...
[The camera stops on Slovosky and others at a table. Slovosky holds a Sloppy Joe.]
NARRATOR: Who had to work for it.
SLOVOSKY: OK, everybody - watch! One bite!
[Slovosky stuffs the Sloppy Joe into his mouth. The others gesture and chant.]
GUYS: Go! Go! Go!
[Slovosky raises his arms in victory.]
[Close shot of a pan of Sloppy Joe sauce as it is stirred with a big spoon.]
[Shot of Kevin at the counter as the cook puts a spoonful of sauce on his bun.]
NARRATOR: Me...I was just an ordinary Joe...
[Kevin takes his tray and turns toward the camera which rolls back with him.]
NARRATOR: Being served something unidentifiable by a guy in a hair-net.
[Kevin sets his tray on the rails as he picks up a carton of milk.]
NARRATOR: Stocking up on waxy milk...
[Kevin lifts some type of brown food onto his plate with a spatula.]
NARRATOR: And congealed blue-plate special.
[Kevin turns toward the camera and passes it.]
[Shot of Chuck standing in the aisle, holding his tray and looking past the camera, as Kevin joins him.]
NARRATOR: Yeah. All in all...life was good.
[Chuck smiles and shakes his head slightly.]
CHUCK: I don't believe it.
[Kevin looks at him.]
[Shot from Kevin's perspective of a girl in the distance as she sits down at a table.]
CHUCK [V/O]: Isn't she beautiful?
[Shot of Kevin and Chuck looking at each other, then Chuck looks toward the girl off-screen as two girls cross the camera.]
NARRATOR: Chuck Coleman had one obsession in life.
[Closer shot of the girl at the table as she flips her hair over her shoulder.]
NARRATOR: Sheila McCaffrey - clarinet player.
CHUCK [V/O]: I mean, she is hot!
KEVIN [V/O]: Yeah, yeah, yeah...
[Wider shot of Kevin approaching the camera, as Chuck follows and gestures.]
CHUCK: I mean, not just regular hot - I mean, she is...
[Kevin frowns and rolls his eyes upward.]
KEVIN & CHUCK: Diaphanous.
[They turn and go across a row of tables.]
NARRATOR: For the past three weeks, Chuck had been using that word. I'm pretty sure he thought it meant..."stacked".
KEVIN: So, why don't you just ask her out? [Frowns.]
[Chuck slows up.]
CHUCK: You can't just make a move on a girl like that! [Gestures.] You have to find the precise moment!
[Shot past Chuck of Kevin looking at him.]
CHUCK: The perfect thing to say. [Gestures.] The right shirt!
[Shot past Kevin of Chuck looking at him.]
NARRATOR: Face it. The guy was scared witless.
[Shot past Chuck of Kevin looking at him.]
KEVIN: Chuck?
CHUCK: What?
KEVIN: We're here.
[Shot past Kevin of Chuck as he looks off slightly, as Kevin sits down.]
CHUCK: Oh.
[Shot past Kevin of Ricky sitting at the table with his arms crossed.]
CHUCK [V/O]: Hey, Ricky.
RICKY: Hey, guys.
[Chuck sets his tray next to Ricky and starts to sit down.]
NARRATOR: That was the thing about lunch...
[Shot past Ricky of Kevin smiling slightly and looking off, then smiling at Ricky.]
NARRATOR: You always sat with the same people because...well...
[Kevin sips his milk.]
NARRATOR: You always sat with the same people.
[Wide shot of the three at the table as Kevin takes a bite of food. Ricky looks toward Chuck's tray, then turns toward Chuck.]
RICKY: Hey - I get the pickle.
[Chuck holds some food away from Ricky.]
CHUCK: Uh.
RICKY: Please. [Frowns.]
[Chuck gives the pickle to Ricky, who nods. Paul approaches, wearing a blue jacket and white pants.]
PAUL: Hey, guys!
[Paul sets a light tan bag over the chair back, looks at the guys who are looking at him, and pauses.]
PAUL: What?
CHUCK: Nice tie. [Nods.]
[Shot past Chuck of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.]
KEVIN: What...
[Kevin looks at Chuck.]
KEVIN: Your mom dress you again? [Smiles.]
[Shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.]
PAUL: Oh, very funny. Look, I-I got a debate tournament this afternoon...[shrugs]...I gotta look nice.
[Shot past Chuck and Ricky of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.]
NARRATOR: Now, of course, Paul was the brain of our group.
[Shot of Paul as he takes off his jacket. He is wearing a white shirt and dark tie.]
NARRATOR: So we treated him with the respect he deserved.
[Wider shot of all as Paul sets his jacket over the back of the chair. Some kids cross the camera.]
CHUCK: Well, sit down...before somebody sees you! [Laughs.]
PAUL: Oh, remind me to laugh. [Frowns.]
[Paul sits down. Another kid crosses the camera. Ricky looks at Paul.]
RICKY: Hey, are you gonna have those mashed potatoes?
PAUL: Ricky, I just got here.
[Shot past Kevin and Paul of Ricky and Chuck, and Alice in the aisle.]
ALICE: Ricky! Ricky!
[Ricky and Chuck look at her and frown.]
ALICE: Did you do your report for *Calvin's" class?
RICKY: Uh, report...[frowns]...what report?
[Close shot of Kevin frowning slightly and looking toward Paul off-screen.]
ALICE [V/O]: The report! The one that's due...
[Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen, then down.]
ALICE [V/O]: Today!
[Shot past Ricky of Alice looking at him.]
ALICE: A thousand words on the day in the life of a citizen of ancient Rome - and if I don't get it done, I'm gonna fail.
[She looks forward.]
ALICE: I'm gonna look like an idiot! [Frowns.]
[Close shot of Ricky looking at Alice off-screen. Kevin is in the background looking at them.]
RICKY: Are you sure it's due today?
[Shot past Ricky of Alice, as a student crosses the camera.]
ALICE: Fourteen people told me it was.
[Close shot of Ricky frowning at Alice off-screen. Kevin is in the background looking at them.]
RICKY: Well, well, how come we didn't know about it?
[Wider shot from behind Kevin and Paul as Alice stands up.]
ALICE: I have to go. [Gestures.] I have to find a pencil.
[She turns and collects her things from her table. Ricky looks forward as she exits.]
RICKY: Oh, my God!
[Shot past Ricky of Kevin looking at him.]
KEVIN: Ricky! Calm down.
RICKY: A thousand words...
[Shot past Kevin and Paul of Ricky and Chuck.]
RICKY: What am I gonna do?
[Ricky opens a book nervously.]
RICKY: I-I...I don't know...
[He leafs through the book quickly.]
NARRATOR: It was inevitable.
[Shot past Ricky of Kevin taking a forkful of food.]
NARRATOR: Every day, somewhere between fish sticks and Jell-O...
[Kevin sips some milk and looks at Ricky.]
[Shot past Kevin and Paul of Ricky and Chuck. Chuck is holding a pen up high and waving it while looking at Ricky.]
NARRATOR: Ricky Halsenbach would have at least one academic crisis.
[Ricky takes the pen.]
[Shot past Chuck of Paul looking at Ricky off-screen.]
RICKY [V/O]: OK, OK - I can do this.
[Shot past Ricky of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen and smiling slightly as he takes a forkful of food.]
RICKY: A day...
[Shot past Kevin and Paul of Ricky and Chuck as Ricky writes.]
RICKY: In the life...
[Shot past Ricky of Kevin looking at Ricky's paper as he rubs his lip.]
RICKY [V/O]: Of...ancient Rome.
[Shot past Chuck of Paul rolling his eyes.]
RICKY [V/O]: By...Ricky...
[Shot past Kevin and Paul of Ricky and Chuck as Ricky writes.]
RICKY: Halsenbach.
[Ricky moves his pen quickly across each word.]
RICKY: One-two-three-four-five...
[Shot past Chuck of Paul looking at Ricky off-screen.]
RICKY [V/O]: Six, seven, eight, nine, ten...
[Shot past Kevin and Paul of Ricky and Chuck as Ricky writes.]
RICKY: Ricky...
[The guys nod and mouth simutaneously with Ricky.]
RICKY: David Halsenbach.
[Chuck smiles slightly.]
[Close shot of Kevin smiling and looking toward Paul off-screen.]
NARRATOR: Sure, we weren't exactly the "A" table...
[Kevin looks past Paul.]
[Wide shot of all as the boy wearing glasses and the pocket protector pauses behind Paul and Kevin.]
BOY: Excuse me...is-is this seat...
[Paul gestures.]
ALL: Taken...
NARRATOR: But we had our standards.
[The boy walks off slowly.]
NARRATOR: Such as they were.
[Close shot of Chuck looking toward Sheila off-screen, as he twitches nervously.]
CHUCK: Look at her, Kev...
[Close shot of Kevin looking toward Sheila off-screen.]
CHUCK [V/O]: Doesn't she look...
[Close shot of Chuck looking toward Sheila off-screen.]
CHUCK: Just like Ali McGraw?
[Chuck blinks nervously.]
[Shot from Kevin's perspective of Sheila in conversation with another girl.]
[Close shot of Kevin looking toward Sheila off-screen, then frowning slightly and rising.]
KEVIN: I'm gonna get a soda.
[Wide shot of all as Kevin aproaches the camera as Paul watches him.]
NARRATOR: Heck. Even I needed a break from these bozos once in awhile.
[Shot from behind Kevin as he walks away from the camera toward a soda machine against the far wall. Three guys are standing near it.]
NARRATOR: Which in this case meant - a trip to the soda machine.
[Closer shot of the three guys as they separate slightly as Kevin approaches betwen them.]
NARRATOR: In our cafeteria, it was...
GUY: So, Arnold.
[Kevin pauses in front of the machine and looks at the guy. A girl carrying a tray crosses the camera.]
GUY: How's it hanging? [Shrugs.]
NARRATOR: On the other side of the tracks.
[Shot past two guys of Kevin looking at them.]
KEVIN: Hey.
[He glances at another guy off-screen.]
[Wide shot of all as Kevin faces the macine. Two girls cross the camera.]
NARRATOR: Jimmy Donnelly, Joey Spinoza and Neal Pemish.
[Kevin glances at Donnelly.]
[Close shot of Donnelly glancing slighty at Pemish.]
NARRATOR: Their school motto was...
[Close shot of Spinoza looking forward blankly.]
NARRATOR: "We came, we left."
[Spinoza frowns slightly.]
[Wide shot of all as Kevin deposits a coin into the machine, then pushes the button. Donnelly kicks the soda machine, causing a can to fall.]
[Shot past Donnelly and Pemish of Kevin looking at them.]
KEVIN: Thanks.
[Kevin glances at them again, then bends down.]
[Wide shot of all as Kevin retrieves the soda.]
DONNELLY: So, Arnold...
[Kevin stands up.]
DONNELLY: We're, uh...ditchin' fifth and sixth period.
[Shot past Donnelly of Kevin looking at him.]
KEVIN: Good for you.
[Shot past Kevin of Donnelly looking at him.]
DONNELLY: Yeah, we're gonna see "The Devil in Miss Jones".
[Shot past Donnelly and Pemish of Kevin looking at them.]
KEVIN: Yeah, right!
[Close shot of Spinoza looking at Kevin off-screen.]
SPINOZA: Uh...wh-what's that supposed to mean? [Frowns.]
[Shot past Donnelly and Pemish of Kevin looking at Spinoza off-screen.]
KEVIN: It means it's X-rated!
[Shot past Kevin of Donnelly looking at him.]
DONNELLY: Ooooooooh...[Frowns.]
[He looks at Pemish.]
[Wide shot of all as Pemish gestures with both hands.]
PEMISH: Whoa...
[Donnelly put his hand on Kevin's shoulder.]
DONNELLY: That's no problem.
[Shot past Donnelly of Kevin looking at him.]
DONNELLY: My cousin works the door - figured we'd take in a matinee.
[Wide shot of all.]
PEMISH: Yeah, we thought ya might want to come along.
KEVIN: Me?!
DONNELLY: Yeah, we like you!
[Donnelly puts his hand on Kevn's shoulder again.]
[Shot past Kevin of Donnelly looking at him.]
DONNELLY: We think you're great!
[Donnelly pulls away slightly.]
DONNELLY: Everybody says you're a really cool guy.
[Shot past Donnelly of Kevin glancing at the guys.]
KEVIN: Well...
[Close shot of Spinoza looing at Kevin off-screen.]
SPINOZA: Plus, you got a car.
[Shot past Kevin of Donnelly glancing off and gesturing.]
DONNELLY: Look, uh...
[He looks at Kevin and shrugs.]
DONNELLY: Pemish's carburetor blew up again, and, uh...[frowns]...we really thought you'd be the kind of guy who'd want to help us out.
[He raises an eyebrow slightly.]
[Shot past Donnelly of Kevin looking at him.]
KEVIN: Well, I'm not.
[Shot past Kevin of Donnelly frowning and looking down slightly.]
DONNELLY: Sure.
[Donnelly shrugs as he rubs his ear and looks off.]
DONNELLY: We, uh, understand - you, uh...you gotta get back to your geeky friends over there. [Nods.]
[Shot past Donnelly of Kevin looking at him.]
KEVIN: For your information, my friends are not geeks.
[Donnelly glances off.]
[Shot of Pemish, Donnelly and Kevin as Donnelly takes a step forward, and puts his arm around Kevin's shoulders.]
DONNELLY: Oh, yeah?
[Shot Chuch, Paul, and Ricky, as Chuck balances a straw across his lip, and Paul and Ricky tug at something.]
PAUL: No, no.
NARRATOR: Hmmmm...
[Shot of Donnelly and Kevin as Donnelly pats him on the stomach.]
DONNELLY: Proof's in the pudding, man.
[Kevin looks at Donnelly.]
KEVIN: Well...
[Shot past Donnelly of Kevin looking at him.]
KEVIN: Anyway...I'm not interested, OK? [Nods.]
[Donnelly puts both hands on Kevin's shoulders.]
DONNELLY: Just think about it, Arnold.
[Shot past Kevin of Donnelly looking at him.]
DONNELLY: That's all we ask - just think about it.
[Shot past Donnelly of Kevin looking at him, as Donnelly removes his hands.]
KEVIN: Sure.
[Kevin glances at the other guys.]
KEVIN: I'll do that. [Frowns.]
[Shot of Pemish, Donnelly and Kevin as Kevin turns and approaches the camera.]
NARRATOR: Let's face it - I wasn't the "ditching" type. I was more your average, everyday...
[Wayne walks past Kevin and snatches his soda.]
WAYNE: Thanks, butthead.
[Kevin turns toward Wayne.]
KEVIN: Hey!
NARRATOR: Victim.
WAYNE: I need this, OK?!
KEVIN: Buy your own!
WAYNE: It's not for me! [Gestures.]
[A girl crosses the camera.]
WAYNE: It's for...
[They slowly turn away from the camera as some dramatic music plays. The camera pans over to a long-haired guy sitting at a table in the distance, hunched over some food.]
WAYNE [V/O]: Him.
[Shot of Wayne and Kevin looking at him off-screen.]
NARRATOR: We called him "Maniac". You know the type.
[Shot from Kevin's perspective of Maniac as the boy with glasses and the pocket protector approaches him.]
NARRATOR: You never knew where he came from...
[The boy sets his tray on the table.]
NARRATOR: What he was thinking...
[Maniac looks up slowly and frowns at the boy.]
NARRATOR: How many family members he might have killed...
[The boy nervously picks up his tray and exits.]
WAYNE [V/O]: Some guys...
[Shot of Wayne and Kevin looking at him off-screen, as Wayne leans a little closer.]
WAYNE: Bet me twenty bucks I couldn't...[gestures]... find out Maniac's real name. Heh-heh. [Smiles.]
KEVIN: And you think a can of soda's gonna do it?
WAYNE: Nah-nah-nah-nah.
[Wayne glances at the soda can.]
WAYNE: It's just the ice-breaker.
[Shot from Kevin's perspective of Maniac looking after the boy off-screen.]
KEVIN [V/O]: You're out of your mind.
[Shot of Wayne and Kevin looking at Maniac off-screen, as Wayne smiles woodenly.]
WAYNE: Hey. For twenty bucks, I'd lick the paint off our house with my tongue. Heh-heh.
[They look at each other.]
NARRATOR: I got news for ya.
[They look at Maniac off-screen.]
NARRATOR: A year later - he did it, for ten.
[Close shot of Maniac chewing some chicken.]
WAYNE [V/O]: Ah! Here we are.
[Wayne passes the camera.]
WAYNE: Hi!
[Maniac looks up a Wayne takes a seat opposite him.]
WAYNE: You don't know me, but, uh...
[Shot from the end of the table of both in profile. Maniac is hunched over his food, and a brown bag and some food is scattered on the table.]
WAYNE: I'm Wayne Arnold, and...[points]...you would be?
[Shot past Wayne of Maniac looking at him as Wayne holds his hand out.]
[Shot past Maniac of Wayne looking at him and retracting his hand.]
[Shot from the end of the table of both in profile.]
WAYNE: Here.
[Wayne sets the can down and slides it forward.]
[Close shot of Maniac looking at Wayne off-screen as he chews slowly.]
WAYNE [V/O]: Bottoms up! Heh-heh.
[Shot of Kevin walking toward the camera. Winnie hurries from a table behind him.]
WINNIE: Kevin?
[Kevin slows up.]
WINNIE [V/O]: Wait!
[Kevin and turns toward her.]
KEVIN: Hey, Winnie!
[Winnie stops in front of him.]
WINNIE: You have a minute?
[Shot past Kevin of Winnie looking at him.]
NARRATOR: Was she kidding? For Winnie - I had a lifetime.
[Wider shot of both.]
KEVIN: You bet. [Smiles.]
WINNIE: See...
[They start to walk forward slowly, and the camera rolls back with them.]
WINNIE: I volunteered to run this drive for McKinley...and I really need people to contribute. But you know how people are.
[Kevin looks forward.]
KEVIN: Yeah, I know.
[Winnie looks forward.]
WINNIE: They're so...apathetic.
[She looks at Kevin and shrugs slightly.]
WINNIE: So, I thought...
KEVIN: Winnie! [Gestures.] Winnie...
[They slow and turn toward each other.]
KEVIN: Count me in. [Smiles.]
[Shot past Kevin of Winnie looking at him.]
WINNIE: Great. [Smiles.]
["Winnie's Theme" plays.]
[Shot past Winnie of Kevin looking at her and smiling as the camera moves in slowly.]
NARRATOR: After all, this was the love of my life.
[Shot past Kevin of Winnie looking down.]
NARRATOR: Potentially.
[She looks at Kevin and smiles.]
NARRATOR: The future mother of my children.
[She looks down again.]
NARRATOR: Potentially.
[Shot past Winnie of Kevin looking at her and smiling as the camera moves in slowly.]
NARRATOR: There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for her.
KEVIN: So...[shrugs]...what would I be contributing?
[Close shot of Winnie looking at Kevin off-screen.]
WINNIE: Blood.
[Winnie nods and smiles faintly. "Winnie's Theme" ends.]
[Close shot of Kevin looking at Winnie off-screen and pausing, then taking a little step backward.]
KEVIN: Blood? [Frowns.]
[Some squeaky "Twilight Zone" music plays.]
NARRATOR: Blood?!
WINNIE [V/O]: Kevin?
[Shot past Kevin of Winnie moving closer, seductively.]
WINNIE: I wouldn't ask if it wasn't really important.
[Close shot past Winnie of Kevin looking at her.]
NARRATOR: Oh, God - I was caught between sex and death!
[Close shot of Winnie lookng at Kevin off-screen and biting her lip slowly.]
NARRATOR: Sex-death, sex-death.
[Close shot past Winnie of Kevin looking down at her mouth.]
NARRATOR: Sex!
[Kevin looks Winnie in the eye and shrugs.]
KEVIN: OK, I'll do it!
[Close shot of Winnie smiling broadly.]
WINNIE: Great! See you after lunch. [Smiles.]
[Shot of both as Winnie turns and exits past the camera.]
KEVIN: Great. [Smiles.]
[Kevin glances off and frowns slightly.]
KEVIN: Great.
[Kevin approaches the camera which rolls back with him.]
GUYS [V/O]: Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
[Kevin passes the camera as Kovinsky bends over several cubes of Jell-O on the table as his buddies chant, and he sucks them up.]
[Wider shot of the cafeteria as Kevin approaches his table.]
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back at the zoo...
[Kevin sits down.]
RICKY: OK.
[Shot past Paul of Ricky looking at his paper.]
RICKY: An ancient Roman...lived in a Roman house...with a Roman wife and spoke Roman to a lot of Roman people.
[Close shot of Kevin looking at Ricky off-screen.]
RICKY [V/O]: What do you think so far?
[Kevin looks toward Paul off-screen.]
[Shot past Chuck of Paul looking at Ricky off-screen and hesitating.]
PAUL: Don't change a word.
[Close shot of Chuck looking toward Sheila off-screen, then Kevin off-screen.]
CHUCK: Have you noticed Sheila's skin?
[Chuck looks toward Sheila off-screen again.]
[Shot of Sheila and some other girls at their table. She flips her hair over her shoulder.]
[Close shot of Chuck looking at Sheila off-screen.]
CHUCK: It's like that thin paper that we use in typing class.
[Shot past Chuck of Paul slapping something on the table and looking at Chuck.]
PAUL: Sheila, Sheila - why don't you just go talk to her?
[Close shot of Chuck looking at Paul off-screen.]
CHUCK: I can't...
RICKY [V/O]: Why not?
[Chuck looks toward Sheila off-screen and shrugs.]
CHUCK: She's eating. [Frowns.]
[Shot past Chuck of Paul looking at him.]
PAUL: It's a cafeteria, Chuck. [Frowns.]
[Shot past Paul of Chuck looking at him.]
CHUCK: Paul, you can't ask a girl out when she's eating! [Frowns.]
[A boy crosses the camera.]
CHUCK: It's like a landmine. What happens if she smiles, and she has all these particles of tuna on her teeth?
[Shot of all four from behind chuck and Ricky. Eveyone is looking at Chuck.]
CHUCK: She'd be humiliated. You can't recover from something like that.
KEVIN: Chuck, will ya stop acting like such a geek? [Frowns.]
CHUCK: Well, what do you mean?
KEVIN: If you want to ask her out...[gestures]...ask her out. [Frowns.]
[Close shot of Chuck looking down and nodding slightly.]
NARRATOR: And, from small ideas do great decisions grow.
[He looks at Kevin off-screen as a boy crosses the camera.]
CHUCK: You're right, Kevin.
[Chuck stands up.]
[Wider shot of Chuck as he smoothes his shirt inside his pants.]
NARRATOR: So began that long march.
[A version of "The Addam's Family Theme" [?] plays.]
[Shot of Paul, Kevin and Ricky looking toward Chuck off-screen.]
NARRATOR: That test of fortitude to manhood.
[Shot from behind Chuck as he walks forward stiffly. The camera rolls forward with him, as he bends down out of the shot.]
PAUL [V/O]: What's he doing?
[Several students cross the camera.]
[Shot of Kevin, Paul and Ricky. They are turned around in their chairs, looking at Chuck off-screen.]
KEVIN: He's tying his shoes. [Frowns.]
[Ricky puts his hand on his face.]
PAUL: But he's got loafers on. [Frowns.]
[Shot of Chuck as he stands up.]
PAUL [V/O]: OK - here we go.
[The music resumes as Chuck walks forward, followed by the camera. Chuck pauses, and smoothes the back of his shirt inside his pants.]
KEVIN [V/O]: Now, what?
PAUL [V/O]: He's tucking in his shirt.
[Shot of Kevin, Paul and Ricky looking at Chuck off-screen. Ricky half stands and gestures.]
RICKY: It's tucked, ya doofus!
[Shot from behind Chuck as he pauses, looks off, and waves.]
PAUL [V/O]: Who's he waving at?
[Chuck continues forward.]
PAUL [V/O]: OK - he's gonna do it now.
[Chuck turns around, with a worried look on his face and approaches the camera, twitching nervously. The camera rolls back.]
PAUL [V/O]: He's running away.
KEVIN [V/O]: What's the matter with him?
[Shot past Ricky of Paul and Kevin looking at each other.]
PAUL: He did better than I thought he would...[Gestures.]
[Kevin looks toward Chuck as he approaches and reaches for his chair.]
KEVIN: What happened? [Gestures.]
RICKY: You were right there!
[Close shot of Chuck as he sits down.]
CHUCK: My part was off.
[Shot of all four from behind Chuck and Ricky.]
PAUL: You're so full of it. [Frowns.]
[Shot past Paul of Chuck looking at them.]
CHUCK: I'll ask her out later! [Frowns.]
[Shot past Chuck of Paul looking at him.]
PAUL: Well, if she turns you down, you can always go out with the guy...
[Shot past Paul of Chuck looking at him.]
PAUL [V/O]: With the hair-net.
CHUCK: Shut up, Pfeiffer! [Frowns.]
[Shot of all four from behind Chuck and Ricky.]
PAUL: Maybe you can take him to the prom.
[Paul glances at Kevin and laughs. Kevin smiles.]
[Shot past Paul of Chuck twitching nervously.]
[Shot of all four from behind Chuck and Ricky as Paul, Kevin and Ricky laugh.]
NARRATOR: But it was almost as if Paul's sarcasm...
[Paul picks up his Sloppy Joe.]
NARRATOR: Had aroused the anger of the lunch gods.
[Close shot of Paul smiling as he starts to take a bite. Most of the Sloppy Joe slides out of the bun and makes a "splat" sound. Paul looks down and frowns.]
[Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul's pants off-screen.]
[Shot past Chuck of Paul dropping his Sloppy Joe and standing up quickly. He has a 5-inch wide glob of Sloppy Joe sauce on his pants between the pocket and zipper.]
PAUL: My pants!
[Closer shot of Paul's pants.]
NARRATOR: And they smote him down...with...
[Paul watches a boy cross the camera.]
NARRATOR: Four ounces of ground beef...
[Paul sits down.]
NARRATOR: And a can of tomato sauce.
[Music "Oom, Mow, Mow" plays as the guys laugh.]
[Close shot of Chuck looking at Paul off-screen and laughing.]
[Shot past Chuck of Paul looking down and frowning.]
[Close shot of Kevin looking toward Chuck and laughing, then looking down.]
Fade to
[Clip of Henry Kissinger getting out of a car and smiling as he approaches a Chinese man.]
NARRATOR: It was halfway through lunch.
[Clip of Henry Kissinger walking though a doorway and shaking hands with a Chinese man.]
NARRATOR: In Paris, peace talks were getting under way.
[Clip of John Erlichman frowning as he walks next to a car in the street.]
NARRATOR: While in Washington...
[Clip of John Haldeman speaking and nodding.]
NARRATOR: Five campaign workers were breaking in...
[Clip of the Watergate hotel.]
NARRATOR: To Democratic headquarters.
Cut to
INT. DAY. CAFETERIA.
[Shot past Chuck of Paul and Kevin as Paul rubs his pants with a napkin.]WAYNE: So, I...notice you eat alone all the time.
[Shot past Wayne of Maniac looking at his Twinkie.]
WAYNE: Bet you'd like some friends. Heh.
[Maniac looks at Wayne.]
[Shot past Maniac of Wayne looking at him.]
WAYNE: Hey, I got an idea! [Gestures.] Um, maybe if I...knew your name, I could introduce you around...[gestures]...you know...get to know some people. [Gestures.]
[Shot past Wayne of Maniac looking at Wayne.]
[Shot past Maniac of Wayne looking at him.]
WAYNE: So, you have any hobbies? [Frowns.]
[Some of Maniac's Twinkie falls onto his tray.]
[Shot of Ricky and Chuck as Ricky looks up.]
RICKY: Hey - do any of you guys know how to spell "org-y"?
[Chuck looks up and sighs.]
[Shot of Paul and Kevin looking at Ricky off-screen.]
KEVIN: It's "orgy", Ricky. "O", "R", "G", Y".
[Shot of Ricky and Chuck as Ricky looks at his paper, and Chuck looks off and frowns, shaking his head.]
CHUCK: I shoulda asked her out.
[Shot of Sheila smiling and talking to another girl at her table.]
CHUCK [V/O]: I'm spineless. That's what I am.
[Shot of Ricky and Chuck.]
CHUCK: If they cut me open, I wouldn't have a spine. I blew it.
[Shot of Paul and Kevin. Paul is looking down as he works on his stain. Kevin looks at Chuck off-screen.]
CHUCK [V/O]: I totally blew it.
KEVIN: Chuck, it'll be OK.
[Shot of Sheila as she stands up.]
CHUCK [V/O]: Oh, no.
[She puts her purse strap over her shoulder and collects her books.]
[Shot of Ricky looking at Chuck as Chuck looks at Shelia off-screen.]
CHUCK: Here she comes. [Frowns.]
[Shot of Paul and Kevin looking at Chuck off-screen.]
[They look over their shoulders toward Sheila off-screen.]
CHUCK [V/O]: I gotta talk to her.
[Shot of Sheila holding her tray as she starts to exit.]
CHUCK [V/O]: I gotta talk to her.
[Shot of Ricky looking at Chuck as Chuck looks at Sheila off-screen.]
CHUCK: I can't.
[Chuck shakes his head.]
CHUCK: I'm not ready. [Gestures.]
[Chuck looks toward Paul and Kevin off-screen.]
CHUCK: I can't do it. I got to. I can't. I can't.
[Chuck looks at Sheila off-screen.]
[Shot of Sheila and another girl approaching the camera.]
CHUCK [V/O]: I got to.
[Shot of Paul and Kevin looking over their shoulders.]
CHUCK [V/O]: I got to.
[They look forward.]
[Shot of Ricky writng on his paper as Chuck looks at Sheila off-screen.]
CHUCK: Uh...I can't. I can't, I can't, I can't. I can't.
[Chuck starts to stand up, holding his tray.]
[Shot from behind Chuck as he steps in front of Sheila.]
CHUCK: Stop...please.
[Shot past Sheila and Chuck's trays of Paul and Kevin looking at him off-screen.]
[Close shot of Chuck looking at Sheila off-screen and swallowing nervously.]
CHUCK: Hi...
[Close shot of Sheila smiling at Chuck off-screen.]
[Close shot of Chuck looking at Sheila off-screen and nodding as he chews his gum.]
CHUCK: I'm Chuck. [Smiles.]
[Close shot of Sheila looking at Chuck off-screen.]
SHEILA: Hi. [Smiles.]
[Close shot of Chuck looking at Sheila off-screen as he swallows his gum and frowns slightly.]
CHUCK: I was just wondering, um...if maybe you'd like to...
[Chuck blinks nervously.]
CHUCK: Uh...go out sometime.
[Shot past Sheila and Chuck's trays of Paul and Kevin looking at them off-screen.]
NARRATOR: Amazing. After three months, Chuck had finally done it.
[Close shot of Sheila looking off and smiling.]
SHEILA: Gee, Chuck...
[She looks at Chuck off-screen.]
SHEILA: That'd be nice. [Smiles.]
[Close shot of Chuck looking at Sheila off-screen.]
NARRATOR: And hit pay-dirt.
CHUCK: Great. [Smiles.]
[Close shot of Sheila smiling at Chuck off-screen.]
[Shot past Sheila and Chuck's trays of Paul and Kevin looking at them off-screen.]
NARRATOR: And that's when it happened.
[Chuck starts to nervously shake his tray. Ominous music plays.]
[Shot past Chuck of Sheila looking at his tray and frowning slightly.]
[Shot past Sheila of Chuck looking at her as he shakes his tray.]
CHUCK: Uh, How about Friday?
[Shot past Chuck of Sheila looking at his tray.]
SHEILA: Friday.
[She looks off and frowns.]
SHEILA: Uh, Friday...
[She makes a little face and looks at Chuck.]
SHEILA: I have band practice this Friday.
[Shot past Sheila of Chuck looking at her as he shakes his tray.]
CHUCK: Saturday - uh, we could go skating.
[Shot past Chuck of Sheila looking up and off.]
SHEILA: Oh...
[She looks at Chuck.]
SHEILA: Gee...guests from out of town.
[Shot past Sheila of Chuck looking at her as he shakes his tray.]
NARRATOR: It was horrible. Right before our eyes...
[Shot past Sheila and Chuck's trays of Paul and Kevin looking at them off-screen. The shaking increases.]
NARRATOR: The kid was twitching his way toward total self-destruction.
CHUCK [V/O]: Uh, how about NARRATOR: next weekend?
[Shot past Chuck of Sheila looking at him.]
SHEILA: Uh, I think I'm gonna have to study that weekend.
[She starts to step sideways.]
[Shot past Sheila of Chuck stepping in front of her.]
CHUCK: The weekend after that?
[Shot past Chuck of Sheila looking past him a moment, then looking at him.]
SHEILA: I may have band festival. [Frowns.]
[Shot past Sheila of Chuck looking at her as he shakes his tray.]
CHUCK: Um, you know, maybe we should just try this, ya know, when you're not so busy.
[Shot past Chuck of Sheila looking at his tray.]
SHEILA: Yeah.
[She looks at him.]
SHEILA: It was great talking to you.
[She exits past Chuck and the camera.]
CHUCK: Yeah.
[Chuck frowns and looks after her off-screen.]
[Shot past Chuck of Sheila walking away from the camera. Chuck stops shaking his tray slowly, and looks toward the guys off-screen.]
[Shot past Chuck of Paul and Kevin looking at him.]
[Shot of Ricky as Chuck sits down and looks off. Some Snuffy guitar plays.]
NARRATOR: And in that moment...
[Close shot of Kevin looking toward Chuck off-screen.]
NARRATOR: I guess we all searched our hearts for the right thing to say.
[Shot of Ricky and Chuck. Ricky pauses in writing and looks at Paul and Kevin off-screen.]
NARRATOR: The caring thing. The sensitive thing.
[Shot of Paul and Kevin.]
PAUL: Kev - you gotta take me to the bathroom.
[Kevin turns toward him.]
KEVIN: What?!
PAUL: I can't let anyone see me like this.
[Kevin looks off.]
KEVIN: Paul!
PAUL: Just - just - just walk in front of me.
Cut to
[Shot of the door as Kevin enters, closely followed by Paul walking in the same stride. Kevin looks around a divider.]
KEVIN: You can come out now, Paul. [Frowns.]
[Paul leans past Kevin slilghtly.]
PAUL: Is anybody in here? [Frowns.]
[Kevin looks over his shoulder.]
KEVIN: Paul... [Frowns.]
NARRATOR: I mean, hey...
[Kevin walks past the camera.]
NARRATOR: I led the horse to water...
[The camera pans with Paul as he hurries to a sink and gets a paper towel from the dispenser.]
NARRATOR: What he did now was up to him.
[Paul folds the paper towel into quarters, looks at his pants, then looks at Kevin.]
PAUL: Kev - I think it's spread.
[Shot past Paul of Kevin looking at him.]
KEVIN: Paul - stop worrying. You'll get it out. Besides...
[Kevin glances off.]
[Shot of the doorway as Donnelly enters, followed by Spinoza and Pemish.]
KEVIN [V/O]: No one's even gonna see it.
[Shot past Paul of Kevin looking toward the door off-screen. Paul looks over his shoulder.]
[Shot of Donnelly, Spinoza and Pemish approaching the camera.]
SPINOZA: Hey...[points]...nice stain, Pfeiffer!
[Spinoza and Pemish laugh.]
[Shot of Paul looking at his pants, then the trio, who are reflected in the mirror.]
PAUL: It's Sloppy Joe!
[Shot of Donnelly, Spinoza and Pemish. Spinoza and Pemish nod at each other as Donnelly looks at Paul off-screen.]
DONNELLY: Yeah, right.
[Donnelly looks at Kevin off-screen.]
DONNELLY: So Arnold?
[Donnelly crosses his arms and approaches the camera.]
DONNELLY: Made up your mind, yet?
[Shot of KEvin looking at Donnelly as Donnelly pauses in front of him.]
KEVIN: About what?
[Wider shot from behind Kevin of Donnelly and his buddies. Paul looks at them from the background.]
DONNELLY: The movie. [Frowns.]
[Shot past Donnelly of Kevin looking at him.]
DONNELLY [V/O]: You know, "The Devil in Miss Jones".
[Close shot of Paul looking at them as he rubs the stain on his pants.]
KEVIN [V/O]: Oh.
[Shot past Donnelly of Kevin looking at him.]
KEVIN: Listen guys. I don't think I'm gonna go.
DONNELLY [V/O]: Know what your problem is Arnold?
[Donnelly steps a little closer.]
DONNELLY: You think too much, you know that?
[Shot past Kevin of Donnelly looking at him.]
DONNELLY: So you miss a few classes - so what?
NARRATOR: And faced with a logic like that...
[Shot past Donnelly of Kevin looking at him.]
NARRATOR: There was only one thing to say.
PAUL [V/O]: Kevin...
[Kevin looks toward Paul off-screen.]
[Shot past Kevin of Donnelly turning toward Paul off-screen.]
PAUL [V/O]: You can't cut school!
[Wide shot of all as Donnelly turns toward Paul, who steps toward the sink.]
PAUL: You can get into a lot of trouble that way.
[Close shot of Paul looking down as he rubs the stain.]
PAUL: Or you could get suspended. What if someone finds out?
[Shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.]
PAUL [V/O]: What about your parents? Just think...
[Close shot of Paul looking up slightly.]
PAUL: How your mother will feel...if she found out you went to a dirty movie.
[Shot past Kevin of Donnelly looking at Paul off-screen with his arms crossed, then at Kevin.]
[Shot of Paul pausing and looking up.]
[Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.]
NARRATOR: And standing there, listening to a guy with chopped meat on his pants...
[Shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.]
NARRATOR: Preach the ten commandments of geekdom...
[Shot past Kevin of Donnelly looking him.]
NARRATOR: The decision seemed pretty clear.
[Close shot of Kevin looking at Donnelly off-screen, then Paul off-screeen.]
KEVIN: Good luck on the debate, Paul.
[Kevin steps toward the camera.]
[Wider shot of all as Kevin pauses.]
KEVIN: Let's go, guys.
[Kevin exits toward the door. Donnelly pats Paul on the shoulder and follows Kevin to the door. Music "Peter Gunne Theme" - Henry Mancini starts.]
Cut to
This transcript was compiled by Kyle Gittins. Please send an e-mail to reynders@merck.de, if you have any suggestions or corrections.