NARRATOR: There are certain nights in your life that are ruled by forces beyond your control - magic, romance, destiny.
[Camera slowly moves in.]
NARRATOR: Nights where love catches you by surprise.
NARRATOR: And things are never quite the same again. I was lucky enough to have one of those nights [WINNIE tenderly caresses the back of KEVIN's neck.] and the memory will stay in my life - forever.
Fade to OPENING TITLES
NARRATOR: One of the major international events of 1972 occurred in the hallways of my alma mater. It was of course the recent arrival of... [camera pans up the legs of a hot girl walking down the hallway as guys cat call] ...Inga Finnstrom, McKinley High School's first Swedish exchange student.
PAUL: Can you believe we sent Marvin Grotsky to Venezuela and got her back?
KEVIN: Unbelievable.
NARRATOR: It was the greatest trade in the history of the United States.
RICKY: Man, if I didn't already have a date, I'd ask her to the spring formal. [KEVIN and PAUL look at each other doubtfully] Hey, it was just a thought!
KEVIN: Who're you taking, anyway?
RICKY: [nodding to himself approvingly] Ramona Storkman.
PAUL: [visibly unimpressed] Really?
KEVIN: [trying to seem positive] That's great, Ricky.
NARRATOR: Still, even Ramona Storkman was better than nothing.
PAUL: You got a date yet, Kev?
KEVIN: Uh, no. No... not yet. I'm still... thinking about it.
[PAUL follows KEVIN's gaze to INGA]
PAUL: Her? You're dreamin'!
KEVIN: Hey, I was just looking.
NARRATOR: But face it, who was I kidding? A girl like that? A schlub like me? Nothing short of miracle could ever bring us together. Until, that is, fate stepped in. Fate in the form of... Winnie Cooper.
NARRATOR: Winnie was my ex-neighbor, ex-girlfriend, ex-... well, just my ex. [bell rings; all begin leaving] And, like all exes, we cared for each other...
KEVIN: Winnie!
NARRATOR: ...and used each other for personal gain.
KEVIN: I, uh, saw you in the library today.
WINNIE: [pleased] You did?
KEVIN: Yeah. You were with, uh... that new girl uh... what's her name?
WINNIE: [not pleased] Inga.
KEVIN: ["informed"] Oh, yeah, that's it. Inga. [pause] How do you know her, anyway?
WINNIE: [catching on] Kevin, do you have the hots for Inga?
KEVIN: No! No, I just, saw you two, together, and, I, I, thought it was... interesting. That's all.
WINNIE: OK. [prepares to leave]
NARRATOR: Just one more tiny detail...
KEVIN: And, maybe you could fix us up?
WINNIE: [slightly offended] Excuse me?
KEVIN: Well, I just thought that maybe you could put in a good word for me. You tell her what a nice guy I am and everything.
WINNIE: Kevin, are you sure she's your type?
KEVIN: What's that supposed to mean? What's my type?
WINNIE: I don't know, I just thought you'd be going out with someone a little less...
KEVIN: Yeah?
WINNIE: ...Swedish.
KEVIN: [giving up on the scheme] Oh, yeah. You're right. It--it's a stupid idea; let's just forget it.
WINNIE: Whatever you say.
[Exeunt WINNIE.]
KEVIN: Fine.
NARRATOR: After all, no sense beating a dead horse. If it wasn't gonna happen, it wasn't gonna happen. Period.
WINNIE: [sly smile] Kevin, I talked to Inga.
KEVIN: [brightening] You did? Really? What'd she say?
WINNIE: [matter-of-factly] She said she'd like to meet you.
NARRATOR: Yumpin' Yiminy!
KEVIN: [still surprised] No kidding.
NARRATOR: And suddenly all bets were on.
KEVIN: So, do you uh, think she'd go to the spring formal with me?
WINNIE: I'm not sure, but I do know that she doesn't have a date yet.
KEVIN: Thanks, Winnie. I knew I could count on you.
NARRATOR: What a girl! What an ex! Always there for me. No strings attached...
WINNIE: Kevin? Just one thing...
KEVIN: Huh?
WINNIE: [lustful grin] Matt Stevens.
KEVIN: Who?
WINNIE: You know, the new guy. He's in your history class?
KEVIN: You have the hots for Matt Stevens?
WINNIE: [suddenly disinterested] No. I just want to meet him.
NARRATOR: Which of course was a reasonable request. Still...
KEVIN: Winnie, I don't think he's right for you.
WINNIE: What do you mean?
KEVIN: Well, he didn't even know when the War of 1812 started.
WINNIE: Kevin, come on. You know, I'm doing you a favor.
NARRATOR: And of course, stated that way, what choice did I have?
KEVIN: [disingenuously] Hey, no problem. [smile]
MATT: Do I have anything in my teeth? [bares his teeth for examination]
KEVIN: [annoyed] Your teeth are fine.
NARRATOR: Now, I had no idea why Winnie wanted to meet this bozo.
MATT: 'Cause you know, your teeth are one of your three most important characteristics.
KEVIN: That's what I hear.
NARRATOR: Still, a deal was a deal... no matter how idiotic.
[WINNIE and INGA enter the cafeteria together.]
KEVIN: OK, there they are.
MATT: Whoa, she's gorgeous!
KEVIN: Yeah. She's Swedish.
MATT: No, I meant the brunette!
KEVIN: [looking instead at WINNIE] Oh, yeah, right.
WINNIE: Hi guys!
MATT: Hey.
KEVIN: Winnie, this is Matt.
WINNIE: And this is Inga.
NARRATOR: Yep, no doubt about it. This was Inga.
[All smiling:]
KEVIN: Hi.
INGA: Hi.
MATT: Hi.
WINNIE: Hi.
NARRATOR: And with those polite formalities out of the way, it was time for the main event. Time to play, the dating game.
WINNIE: So, Matt. Um, how do you like McKinley so far?
MATT: Well, it's the kind of school, you'll never forget... forever.
NARRATOR: So much for bachelor number one.
WINNIE: I know exactly what you mean.
NARRATOR: Hmmm...
KEVIN: So, Inga. Are you having fun in America?
INGA: Oh, ja. I like it.
KEVIN: Yeah. Me too.
MATT: Hey Winnie, what are your three favorite activities?
NARRATOR: Unbelievable.
WINNIE: Well, I like to read, I like to play tennis... and I love to dance.
MATT: I love to do all those things, too!
INGA: Ja! Me too!
WINNIE: Oh, what a coincidence!
KEVIN: [considering his mashed potatoes] It's amazing.
NARRATOR: OK, it was clear the time had come to dump the chitchat and get down to brass tacks.
KEVIN: [about to speak] --
MATT: Hey, Winnie, would you go to the spring formal with me?
WINNIE: Sure, I'd love to.
MATT: [happy] Great.
WINNIE: [happy] Great.
[Bells rings; other tables get up to leave.]
MATT: So we'll talk later, I gotta get to class
WINNIE: Me, too. Come on, Inga.
KEVIN: [offended] Winnie, wait.
WINNIE: Oh, yeah. Sorry Kevin.
NARRATOR: Hadn't we forgotten something here?
KEVIN: Inga, you wanna go to the dance with me?
INGA: Ja, sure.
NARRATOR: Yes! And with those two words, the deal was sealed. Winnie and I were on our way to the spring formal...
MATT: [a bright idea comes to him] Hey, guys! Why don't we double?
NARRATOR: ...together.
[KEVIN and WINNIE look at each other, unsure.]
KEVIN and WINNIE: Double?
KEVIN: Well, I just don't think it's a good idea, that's all.
WINNIE: Well I don't particularly want to, either.
KEVIN: Terrific. Let's not do it.
WINNIE: Fine!
KEVIN: Fine.
WINNIE: It's just Matt doesn't have a car.
NARRATOR: Why was I surprised? The guy probably couldn't read a stop sign.
KEVIN: Well, Winnie, what if Inga and I wanna, you know... be alone... to talk?
WINNIE: [slightly disgusted] Kevin, Matt and I wanna be alone too. To talk. Didja ever think of that?
NARRATOR: Wait a minute. Did she know what kind of "talk" we were talking about here?
[They walk up the hall.]
KEVIN: Winnie, this is your first date with this guy.
WINNIE: Well it's your first date with Inga.
KEVIN: Well, that's different.
WINNIE: [taken by his duplicity] Different!? Kevin, don't worry, we're not going to cramp your style.
KEVIN: It's not a matter of cramping!
NARRATOR: --even though we were cramping all over the place.
WINNIE: Well, we have to do it, so we might as well be adult about it.
[heavy emphasis on the f's:]
KEVIN: Fine.
WINNIE: Fine.
[They break in opposite directions.]
NARRATOR: And so we did the adult thing. We doubled. Me, Miss Sweden, and the guys in the back seat.
SONG: Sugar, Sugar
NARRATOR: Not that I was resentful about it or anything.
KEVIN: So Inga, how do you like school so far?
INGA: Oh, I like history, I like English.
KEVIN: [grinning] I like lunch, heh heh.
[no response]
KEVIN: It was a joke.
[WINNIE laughs hurtfully.]
NARRATOR: Something funny?
MATT: So, Winnie, who are your three favorite movie stars?
WINNIE: Um... Well, let me see...
[KEVIN chortles]
WINNIE: [embarassed] Never mind.
[she glances at KEVIN in the rear view mirror]
NARRATOR: Heh heh.
INGA: Oh, I love American music, especially The Beatles.
KEVIN: Really? Yeah, me too. Hey, remember when the Magical Mystery Tour album came out?
INGA: Mh-huhm.
KEVIN: I couldn't believe how many kids didn't understand it.
[WINNIE giggles in the mirror]
KEVIN: [smiling] What?
WINNIE: [in the mirror] Nothing.
KEVIN: No, c'mon, something must be funny.
WINNIE: [grinning] Well, just... you didn't understand the album, either.
KEVIN: What are you talking about?
WINNIE: You didn't even know who the Walrus was.
KEVIN: Well at least I don't buy every Donny Osmond album that comes out.
WINNIE: [hurt] I don't listen to Donny Osmond.
KEVIN: Oh, come on! You have that huge poster of him hanging over your bed.
WINNIE: [to MATT] It was a phase I went through. It was a long time ago...
KEVIN: It was last year!
NARRATOR: And there, in a nutshell, you had it--the double date from hell.
MATT: You know, Donny Osmond is the kind of the guy you'll never forget forever.
NARRATOR: And the best part was... it was all just beginning.
MATT: I hope the music's good.
KEVIN: Yeah, maybe they'll play a lot of Donny Osmond records.
WINNIE: Or The Beatles. You can explain them to everybody.
NARRATOR: By the time we got there, we were close to all-out war.
[KEVIN takes WINNIE aside.]
KEVIN: Winnie, what are you doing?
WINNIE: I'm not "doing" anything. What are you doing?
KEVIN: I'm not doing anything.
WINNIE: Well fine. We're both not doing anything.
[WINNIE enters ahead of him, pulling the door shut on him behind her.]
NARRATOR: And with that we headed on in for a night of pleasure, romance, and of course--let's not forget--fun.
MATT: Boy, it's really crowded here.
KEVIN: Yeah. Really crowded.
WINNIE: Definitely crowded.
NARRATOR: By a half hour into the festivities, it was clear Winnie and I needed to be on separate continents.
KEVIN: So, uh, Inga. Do you wanna get some punch?
INGA: Ja, sure.
MATT: Good idea! Let's all get some punch.
NARRATOR: Not that getting away was that simple.
KEVIN: Matt, don't you and Winnie wanna go dance or something?
MATT: Yeah, sure! Um, Winnie?
WINNIE: I'd love to. [She shoots KEVIN a caustic look.]
KEVIN: Good.
[WINNIE and MATT walk away:]
MATT: So what are your five favorite songs?
KEVIN: [smiling] Come on. Let's get a drink.
[He and INGA move for the refreshments.]
NARRATOR: And finally, it seemed we were actually gonna have a chance to be alone. Get acquainted. Just me, Inga...
PAUL: Hey, Kev, how's it going?
NARRATOR: And of course, Liberace.
KEVIN: Paul, this is Inga. Inga, Paul.
[PAUL stands grinning stupidly.]
INGA: [thick Swedish accent] Nice to meet you, Paul.
PAUL: Yeah, I've seen you around school. You know, I think we have a class next to each other. I'm in history in 306, and you're, what, in English in--
KEVIN: [stepping next to him] Paul.
PAUL: Yeah?
KEVIN: Beat it.
[PAUL's reverie is broken.]
PAUL: Oops. I've gotta go.
[Ambient noise increases.]
NARRATOR: After all, Paul understood. This date belonged to me. The girl, the body, the mind.
KEVIN: So, you come from a big city?
INGA: Ja, very big.
KEVIN: Oh.
INGA: [pleased] Ornskoldsvik.
KEVIN: [impassive] D'you ever get lonely here?
INGA: Ja. Sometimes I get lonely. But then, I tell myself, "Don't be lonely," and then I'm not lonely!
NARRATOR: And I guess that's when it hit me. When it came to brains, this chick was a Swedish meatball.
KEVIN: Yeah.
[MATT and WINNIE are done dancing.]
MATT: Hey, guys.
KEVIN: Hi. How's it going?
WINNIE: Fine.
[KEVIN looks at her.]
NARRATOR: My only consolation was, she looked worse than me.
MATT: Inga, you wanna dance?
INGA: Ja, sure!
MATT: If you don't mind, Kevin?
KEVIN: No. Why should I mind?
MATT: Hey, I'll even let you dance with Winnie.
KEVIN: Perfect.
WINNIE: [sarcastically] Oh I'm excited.
[KEVIN's smile is shot down.]
["You Are Everything" by the Stylistics begins.]
NARRATOR: Sure, what the heck? This night was in the toilet anyway.
MATT: [to INGA as they leave] So, what are your four favorite colors?
NARRATOR: Still in a way, it all made kind of sense.
[WINNIE looks almost sorry for her comment.]
KEVIN: [hard] So're we gonna dance or not?
NARRATOR: After all, I'd ruined her evening, she'd ruined mine. We might as well finish this fiasco together.
[They move to enter the floor and engage each other.]
KEVIN: Winnie, what's your problem, anyway?
WINNIE: I don't have a problem. You have a problem.
KEVIN: Me? You're the one who keeps taking the shots!
WINNIE: Well you should hear yourself. You sound so phony.
KEVIN: What about you?
WINNIE: Me?
KEVIN: Yeah, did Matt get your five favorite breakfast cereals yet?
WINNIE: [sighing] Very funny.
NARRATOR: Boy, I was mad. Boiling. Furious. [pause] But as we danced, something strange started to happen.
WINNIE: Matt's a nice guy
KEVIN: Yeah, well. Inga's "nice," too. She's just a little... empty.
WINNIE: [giggling] Matt's a real dope.
KEVIN: C'mon, he's not that bad.
WINNIE: [Her gaze meets his.] Neither is Inga.
KEVIN: Yeah. She's got a nice hair.
[Pause.]
WINNIE: Matt's got nice hair, too.
[Their faces pull close.]
KEVIN: They both have nice hair.
NARRATOR: Like I said... [WINNIE leans her head onto KEVIN's shoulder.] ...something strange.
[They begin to caress each other as "You Are Everything" plays:]
SONG:
How can I forget
When each face that I see
Brings back memories
Of being with you
I just can't go on living life as I do
Comparing each girl to you
Knowing they just won't do
They're not you-oo-ooh
You are everything, and everything is you
Oh-Ohh, you are everything, and everything is
you
Oh-Ohh, you are everything, and everything is
you...
KEVIN: [reluctantly] I should get back.
WINNIE: [pause] Me too.
[They slowly pull away from each other, both filled with emotion, and keep looking to each other as they leave to find their dates.]
NARRATOR: I wasn't exactly sure what had just gone on out there on that dance floor. [KEVIN stands looking to her as she glances back.] Whatever it was, it was crazy. It was confusing. It was dangerous. [WINNIE looks at him again.] And I really, really liked it.
PAUL: [suddenly next to him] Hey, Kev. You going up to the point afterwards?
KEVIN: [distanced] I'm not sure yet.
PAUL: Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm not sure, either, I mean you have to kinda play it by ear, 'cause you know...
NARRATOR: I knew Paul was talking--his lips were moving and noise was coming out, but my mind was elsewhere.
SONG:
(Ohh!-oh-oh-oh, oh!) Oh-Ohh, you are everything...
[KEVIN
and WINNIE nod to each other and indicate the side entrance.]
...and everything is you
[Both start out parallel for the door, still looking to each other.]
NARRATOR: Suddenly, it was something beyond our control. Fate, destiny, magic...
SONG:
(Oh-ohh!) Oh-Ohh, you are everything, and everything
is you
(Everything...) Oh-Ohh, you are everything, and
everything is you...
[They now maintain constant gaze as they hurry.]
NARRATOR: Whatever it was, Winnie and I had become two runaway trains, two heat-seeking missiles, being inexplicably drawn back together.
[They arrive.]
KEVIN: [heavy breathing] Oh. Hi.
WINNIE: Hi.
[pause; song ends with applause]
KEVIN: You wanna go, talk?
WINNIE: [nodding] Yeah. [sight darts to the door] Let's talk.
WINNIE: [smiling] Yeah, we're here. Do you think they know we're gone yet?
[pause]
KEVIN: Do we care?
[pause]
WINNIE: [beaming, shaking her head] I can't believe we did this.
NARRATOR: But we had no choice. It was as if the stars and the universe and destiny had bound us together.
[He puts his arm around her shoulder.]
KEVIN: Winnie?
WINNIE: [ready to give the world for him] Yes, Kevin?
KEVIN: I'm stuck in your corsage.
WINNIE: [blinking] What?
KEVIN: My cuff link is stuck in your corsage.
WINNIE: Oh.
KEVIN: Here, let me just try and get it.
[He leans over her and tries to loose himself; she is squashed in the process.]
WINNIE: OK.
KEVIN: Don't move.
WINNIE: [still squashed] Mm, no problem.
KEVIN: You know, I remember hearing this story about those kids who, when they kissed, their braces got stuck together. [Her lips are close to his.] And they had to go to the hospital.
WINNIE: You didn't actually believe that story, did you?
KEVIN: No, until now. [He frees himself.] There. I can move. [He sits up.]
[They stare at each other:]
WINNIE: Good.
KEVIN: Or maybe I'll just stay here for a while.
WINNIE: You're so cute. You've always been cute.
KEVIN: I guess that's why you've been crazy about me since the day we met.
WINNIE: [smiling demurely] I was not. You were crazy about me.
KEVIN: [pause, then earnestly] You're right.
NARRATOR: And that's when it happened. At that moment, all the feelings that Winnie and I had been trying to bottle up, finally came rushing to the surface. [KEVIN touches her lips.] We couldn't hide our passions anymore. [pause] So I leaned in closer... and kissed her... [he kisses her] ..right on the eye.
[long pause, WINNIE slightly thrown, but then...]
NARRATOR: And then she kissed me... on my eye. [She kisses him.]
[long pause]
KEVIN: What happened?
WINNIE: I'm not sure.
NARRATOR: And the thing is, neither of us knew. Maybe our aim was off. Or maybe it was something else.
WINNIE: I was just thinking about the first time we ever met.
KEVIN: Yeah. You were wearing that, little yellow raincoat, and that, stupid, yellow rain hat. [She smiles.]
WINNIE: You were soaking wet.
KEVIN: Wayne told me my folks got me a horse. When I ran outside, he locked the door. [He smiles.]
WINNIE: And you came to my house to dry off.
KEVIN: [thinking solely about her] Yeah. Right. [pause] So... [pause] you wanna try that again?
[pause]
WINNIE: I'd like to think about it for a little while.
KEVIN: Yeah. Me, too.
[She lays her head against him and he holds her. Percy Sledge's "When a Man Loves a Woman" plays.]
NARRATOR: [pause] But
the thing is, that was all we did. Maybe it was happening too fast. Maybe
we wanted to hold on what we had. Or maybe we both knew there were other
things we had to find, before we found each other. All we really knew for
sure was, as we sat there, looking out over the lights of town where we
had grown up together, it all felt right. It all felt... perfect.
If you corrections, additions or suggestions, please write to reynders@merck.de Peter.