NARRATOR: I remember it as clearly as if it were last night. It was the first day of school - I was late.
[KEVIN approaches a door marked "234".]
NARRATOR: I found the class and went in.
[KEVIN checks his schedule, and opens the door.]
[Cut to a wider shot of KEVIN standing in the open doorway, looking at another empty hallway.]
[Shot of empty hallway from KEVIN's perspective.]
[KEVIN walks toward the camera quickly, then the camera rolls back with him. KEVIN starts to trot.]
[Shot from KEVIN's perspective of the empty hallway.]
NARRATOR: I began to panic. Maybe I'd come on the wrong day...maybe I'd come to the wrong place!
[Wide angle shot as KEVIN runs up to the camera.]
[Wide backlight shot of KEVIN sliding to a door and yanking it open.]
NARRATOR: Every time I would open the door, there was another hallway.
[Wide shot of KEVIN entering yet another empty hallway.]
[KEVIN runs toward the camera.]
NARRATOR: I couldn't find the teachers - I couldn't find the students. And that's when it hit me.
[Backlit shot of KEVIN running away from the camera, toward a door to the outside.]
NARRATOR: This was high school. And I...was completely...and utterly...alone.
[Fade to white, then opening credits.]
Fade to
[Clips of the Saturn rocket blasting off the pad, golf swing on the moon, splashdown. Woman planting a small flag with others. Shot of Ron Kovic in his wheelchair.]
NARRATOR: 1971. [Guards, smoking prison] It was a crazy time. [Nixon wedding, Kissinger] People were on the move...looking for answers...breaking new ground. Seemed like everyone was searching for a new identity.
["Woman Power" march, flag waving in a crowd.]
Fade to
NARRATOR: Me, I was breaking some ground of my own. That September I entered William McKinley senior high. I was looking forward to a new adventure. My only hope was they'd have something besides Jell-O for lunch.
Cut to
NARRATOR: Everything was different.
[Shot of girls in mini-skirts.]
NARRATOR: Mini's had become micro's.
[Shot of approaching students. One plays guitar.]
NARRATOR: "Hippies" had turned into "heads".
[A black student gives KEVIN the black power salute.]
NARRATOR: And some of us were on the road to political awareness.
[Shot of KEVIN returning the salute, embarrassed.]
NARRATOR: Kinda.
[Music fades.]
[Shot from next to the lockers as a girl walks away. KEVIN rounds the corner, looking at his locker slip.]
NARRATOR: But those weren't the only changes. My best friend Paul Pfeiffer was off to prep school. Which left me...
[KEVIN finds the locker and starts to dial the combo. He pauses and looks toward the camera.]
[Shot of a girl, opening her locker several feet away. She looks toward KEVIN and smiles.]
[Close shot of KEVIN smiling.]
NARRATOR: Completely on my own.
[Shot of the girl. Bluesy sax music plays, as she shakes her hair back. She smiles faintly.]
[Close shot of KEVIN smiling, then looking at his locker, then back to the girl.]
NARRATOR: Yeah! This wasn't gonna be bad at all...
[Shot of the girl.]
STUART [V/O]: Kevin Arnold?!
[STUART cuts into the shot, directly in KEVIN's line of sight.]
STUART: Stuart Carpazian.
[Close shot of KEVIN looking on blankly.]
STUART: Remember me? We both had Miss Serita for fourth grade.
[Close shot of KEVIN smiling.]
KEVIN: Oh, hi, Stuart.
[KEVIN looks past STUART to the off-screen girl.]
STUART: Wow, it's good to see ya! You're probably wondering what happened to me.
[Close shot of the girl.]
STUART [V/O]: See, my dad got a job in Tucson when I was in fifth grade...so we moved.
[Shot of STUART.]
STUART: But, I'm back now! Jujubee?
[Close shot of KEVIN frowning.]
KEVIN: No, thanks.
STUART: So, how's your mom? Hey, remember when she chaperoned our field-trip to the zoo...and the elephants are doing it?
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: Jeez, was this kid blind?
[Close shot of the girl looking at KEVIN as she closes her locker.]
NARRATOR: Couldn't he see what was happening here?
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
STUART [V/O]: Remember that time you came down with the Hong Kong flu?
[Close shot of the girl smiles and approaching.]
NARRATOR: Here she came.
STUART [V/O]: It was right after lunch.
[Close shot of KEVIN smiling.]
[Close shot of the girl.]
STUART [V/O]: Fishsticks and peas, and ya threw up all over your desk.
[Shot of KEVIN frowning.]
[Close shot of the girl frowning, and walking past KEVIN.]
[Close shot of KEVIN looking after her off-screen, then turning to STUART.]
[Sax music squeaks down.]
KEVIN: Stuart!
[Shot of STUART.]
STUART: Well, I go to class now. It's been nice talking to you. See you later!
[STUART turns around and walks away.]
[Wider shot of KEVIN. He looks after STUART and slams his locker shut. He walks away from the camera.]
NARRATOR: Oh, well, one thing about a big public high school...
Cut to
[STUART approaches up the aisle behind KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: With any luck, Stuart Carpazian would be lost in the system.
[STUART sits next to KEVIN. They look at each other.]
[Shot of STUART.]
STUART: Hey, would you look at this? Talk about luck.
[Shot of KEVIN.]
STUART: Hey, you know what I was thinking about? That time we were playing basketball, you ran into the pole and knocked a hole in your head.
[Shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Stuart, class is gonna start, OK? We'll talk later.
[Shot of STUART.]
STUART: Oh, sure, sure.
[Wider shot of KEVIN frowning, as the bell rings.]
NARRATOR: Not to be obnoxious or anything, but this was no time to be reliving old memories.
[Wider shot of the class.]
NARRATOR: This...was high school!
[Shot past a girl of MR. BOTTNER seated at his desk. He places a Thermos and grapefruit on his desk. He adjusts the grapefruit.]
NARRATOR: The big leagues.
[Shot of the class waiting patiently.]
NARRATOR: Education in the fast lane.
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER standing, and carefully adjusting his chair. He straightens his coat.]
NARRATOR: Once we got rolling.
[MR. BOTTNER steps nearer the class, adjusting his belt.]
MR. BOTTNER: Buenos dias. My name is Mr. Bottner. This...is U.S. Government.
NARRATOR: OK, finally!
[Closer shot of MR. BOTTNER.]
MR. BOTTNER: So! [Gestures.] Here are the rules...
[Shot of KEVIN writing in his notebook.]
NARRATOR: Roman numeral "I" - Rules.
[Close shot of MR. BOTTNER. He holds up a finger.]
MR. BOTTNER: Numero uno. Bottner's Law. At 8:25 the doors are locked - no one gets in...
[Shot of KEVIN frowning, and glancing toward STUART off-screen.]
MR. BOTTNER [V/O]: No one gets out. Numero dos.
[Wider shot of MR. BOTTNER. He spreads his hands out.]
MR. BOTTNER: Due to an inner ear injury sustained at the...Pusan...beach-head...
[Close shot of KEVIN looking at MR. BOTTNER off-screen.]
MR. BOTTNER [V/O]: We shall all refrain from making any sudden...noises in the 2,000 kilocycle range. That means...
[Close shot of MR. BOTTNER.]
MR. BOTTNER: Do not...
[He hold up one finger.]
MR. BOTTNER: I repeat, do not...rip the paper from spiral notebooks.
[Shot of the class.]
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER. He smiles.]
MR. BOTTNER: Comprende?
[Shot of KEVIN looking off.]
NARRATOR: Hmmmm....
MR. BOTTNER [V/O]: Now!
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER. He picks up a thin stack of paper, and walks in front to the desk.]
MR. BOTTNER: Can anyone tell me the name of this country's "living document"?
[Shot of the class.]
MR. BOTTNER [V/O]:...anyone?...no one?
[MR. BOTTNER walks across the shot.]
MR. BOTTNER: Grubner!
[Close shot of GRUTNER. He frowns.]
GRUTNER: Um...ah...
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER.]
MR. BOTTNER: Good job.
[MR. BOTTNER looks at the list of students.]
MR. BOTTNER: Callio!
[Close shot of CALLIO.]
CALLIO: Ah...I'm not sure. [Smiles.]
[Close shot of MR. BOTTNER.]
MR. BOTTNER: Huh. Perfect.
[MR. BOTTNER looks at the list again and frowns.]
MR. BOTTNER: Carpazon.
STUART: Uh... [gestures]...that's "Carpazian", sir.
[MR. BOTTNER frowns, and steps closer.]
MR. BOTTNER: What did you say?
[Shot of KEVIN looking on, then glancing toward STUART off- screen.]
[Shot of STUART.]
STUART: Uh, it's...not important.
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER looking at STUART, then writing on the backboard.]
MR. BOTTNER: The answer to the question...is the...Con-sti-tu-tion.
[Shot of KEVIN.]
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER turning toward the class. He looks down as he shakes a piece of chalk in his hand.]
[Shot of KEVIN glancing at STUART off-screen.]
MR. BOTTNER [V/O]: And speaking of the Constitution...
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER walking around his desk.]
MR. BOTTNER: This might be a good time to tell you about meeting the 39th Vice-president of the United states.
[MR. BOTTNER sits on the edge of his desk.]
MR. BOTTNER: Spiro T. Agnew.
[Closer shot of KEVIN.]
MR. BOTTNER [V/O]: I was one of only nine-hundred teachers...
[Close shot of MR. BOTTNER.]
MR. BOTTNER: Selected to have lunch at the White House. The real White House. [Nods.]
[Close shot of KEVIN. He glances down.]
NARRATOR: And there you had it.
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER speaking.]
NARRATOR: It was pretty obvious the man who was teaching us all about freedom...
[Shot of the class.]
NARRATOR: Was nothing but a petty dictator. And that's when we realized - for the next five months, we'd be held hostage...
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER speaking and shaking the chalk in his hand.]
NARRATOR: While this guy strutted and preened, and perpetrated his little power-plays.
[Shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: And told, and retold, his crowning life-achievement...
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER.]
NARRATOR: Meeting Spiro T. Agnew.
MR. BOTTNER: And then! During dessert...
[He stands, shaking his chalk, smiles at a girl in the front row, and walks past the camera.
[Shot of KEVIN looking up at MR. BOTTNER, who stands next to him.]
MR. BOTTNER [V/O]: Which included a generous portion of cherries jubilee...
[Shot past KEVIN of MR. BOTTNER sitting on the edge of a student's desk.]
MR. BOTTNER: The Vice-president himself...
[MR. BOTTNER smiles and looks around.]
MR. BOTTNER: Came over to my table.
[Shot of KEVIN as MR. BOTTNER holds out his hand.]
MR. BOTTNER: Shook...my hand.
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER smiling and glancing around.]
MR. BOTTNER: And do you know what he said? Huh?
[Shot of KEVIN. He glances to GRUTNER.]
[Shot of GRUTNER.]
NARRATOR: Of course, we didn't.
[Shot of CALLIO frowning.]
NARRATOR: But still, it seemed some sort of response was called for here.
[Shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: "I can't believe I ate the whole thing?"
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER looking quickly at KEVIN.]
[Wide shot of the class as they giggle.]
[Closer shot of MR. BOTTNER looking around, then smiling at KEVIN.]
MR. BOTTNER:...Huh.
[KEVIN smiles and looks around, then back to MR. BOTTNER.]
[MR. BOTTNER looks serious.]
MR. BOTTNER:...I see.
[Shot of KEVIN. His smile fades quickly.]
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER looking off, then at KEVIN and nodding.]
[Cut to shot from the front of the class as MR. BOTTNER stands and walks toward his desk.]
NARRATOR: And maybe right then I should have known...
[MR. BOTTNER jerks a pen from his coat pocket as he walks past the camera. KEVIN looks a bit worried in the background.]
NARRATOR: I...was a dead man.
[Fade to shot of KEVIN and other looking at the clock off-screen, as the bell rings. Students stand up and start to exit.]
MR. BOTTNER [V/O]: That's it, amigos.
[KEVIN rises and looks toward MR. BOTTNER off-screen. A boy squeezes past and exits.]
NARRATOR: Still, by the end of class, I'd come up with a plan.
[Wide shot from KEVIN's perspective of MR. BOTTNER organizing his briefcase.]
[Shot of KEVIN approaching.]
NARRATOR: I figured I'd talk to the guy. Explain myself. Offer the old olive branch.
KEVIN: Mr. Bottner?
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER.]
KEVIN: About your story about Vice-president Agnew...sorry I ruined it.
[MR. BOTTNER smiles.]
MR. BOTTNER: So...?
KEVIN: So...I'll seeya tomorrow?
[KEVIN smiles.]
MR. BOTTNER: You bet! [Smiles.]
[Shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: And that was that - piece of cake.
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER looking at KEVIN, then down.]
NARRATOR: Right?
[Shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: Wrong!
[He looks worried and glances off, then exits.]
Cut to
NARRATOR: OK, I'd learned my first lesson. In high school, one had to be careful when dealing with authority figures.
[Wayne and Wart grab KEVIN and push him back.]
WAYNE: Hey, Wart. Looks like somebody forgot to read the scrote handbook.
[KEVIN frowns.]
KEVIN: Get outta my way, Wayne!
[KEVIN tries to push between them.]
WAYNE: Sorry, Kev. Can't! You're on the seal.
[KEVIN looks down. He is standing on the school seal in the hallway.]
WAYNE [V/O]: The sacred emblem of our fine school.
KEVIN: So?
WAYNE: So? So, only seniors are allowed to walk on the seal.
WART: Yeah, only seniors are allowed to walk on the seal.
NARRATOR: Now, coming from anyone else...
[Close shot of Wart smiling at Wayne off-screen.]
NARRATOR: Maybe I would have believed it.
[Shot from KEVIN's perspective of Wayne smiling.]
NARRATOR: But from these jokers?
[Shot over Wayne and Warts shoulder of KEVIN. He frowns and gestures.]
KEVIN: That's crazy! What kind of rule is that?
WAYNE: Kev, Kev - this seal is an emblem for the school, and protecting it is a long-standing tradition passed from one senior class to the next.
KEVIN: Get outta my way, butt-breath.
[KEVIN starts to push through them. Wayne shoves him against the lockers.]
[Close shot of Wayne.]
WAYNE: Let me explain something to you. You might have thought you were some kind of "hot-shot" in junior high, but you're nothing here. You're the lowest of the low, the putridest of the putrid. You're that stuff that mom sweeps out from underneath the refrigerator.
[Shot of Wayne and KEVIN, and Wart behind them]
WAYNE: And we're in charge here. And if we catch you walking on the seal, you get...[gestures]...the "boosh"! The royal flush.
WART: The "boosh"!
NARRATOR: Not that I knew what that was.
[Shot of KEVIN giving a half-hearted smile.]
NARRATOR: Still, the terminology seemed pretty self-explanatory.
KEVIN: Thanks for letting me know.
[Close shot of Wayne. He smiles.]
WAYNE: You're my brother, I care about ya.
[KEVIN starts to move, and Wayne pushes KEVIN's forehead back.]
[Wayne smirks and walks off. Wart smiles at KEVIN and walks off.]
[Bell rings.]
Cut to
NARRATOR: Finally, something familiar - lunch.
[KEVIN dodges people as he walk toward the camera.]
NARRATOR: The trick was to desperately look for someone to sit with, without anyone ever knowing you were desperate.
[KEVIN pauses and looks off.]
NARRATOR: And that's when I saw her.
[Wide shot of WINNIE sitting at a table alone, looking around. "Winnie's Theme" plays.]
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: Winnie - an oasis in sea of strangers.
[Wide shot of WINNIE. She smiles and motions to KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: She looked so alone, I thought I'd go over and do the best I could to console her.
[Shot of KEVIN smiling, and walking forward past the camera.]
[Shot from behind WINNIE as KEVIN approaches.]
[Three football players approach the table, and put their trays down .]
FOOTBALLER#1: Hi, Winnie!
FOOTBALLER#2: Mind if we sit with you?
[One guy cuts KEVIN off and takes his chair.]
NARRATOR: Me, and half the varsity football team.
[WINNIE looks at KEVIN.]
[Shot of KEVIN. He smiles and starts to walk to another chair.]
[A fourth football player takes his seat.]
[Shot of WINNIE. She nods.]
WINNIE: Come on, Kevin, you can squeeze in!
[Close shot of KEVIN. He smiles half-heartedly.]
KEVIN: Uh, no thanks.
[Shot of WINNIE looking at KEVIN.]
[Shot of KEVIN. He smiles.]
KEVIN: See, I'm, I'm just gonna...walk around for awhile, and...build up an appetite. OK?
[Shot of WINNIE.]
[Shot of KEVIN. He nods and walks out of the shot.]
NARRATOR: Hey, I mean, I didn't need charity. I could manage on my own.
NARRATOR: There were plenty of folks I could sit with. Good folks. Honest folks. Folks like, say -
[KEVIN sits at a table, unknowingly across from STUART].
[KEVIN starts to take a bite of spaghetti.]
STUART: Ummmmm!
[KEVIN looks up.]
[Shot of STUART.]
STUART: Hey, Kev! Pretty neat cafeteria, huh?
NARRATOR: Stuart.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
[Shot of STUART.]
STUART: Remember that time you got that pencil stuck up in your nose? Hmmm?
[Close shot of KEVIN looking at STUART.]
NARRATOR: I always had Stuart.
[Shot of STUART motioning with his milk straw.]
STUART: Errr-err.
Cut to
NARRATOR: One French class, one biology lab, and three major social gaffs later, I was just about ready to call it a day.
[Wide shot of the door way as MR. BOTTNER enter quickly and looks at his watch.]
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: On the other hand...
[Shot from behind KEVIN of MR. BOTTNER setting his briefcase down. He looks up at the class.]
MR. BOTTNER: Alright, mes amigos. This is "study hall". What you do in here is study - you don't talk...
[Shot of KEVIN.]
MR. BOTTNER [V/O]: You don't doodle...
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER.]
MR. BOTTNER: You keep you faces in your books.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
MR. BOTNER [V/O]: Comprende?
[Closer shot of MR. BOTTNER as he walks forward.]
MR. BOTTNER: So, here are Bottner's Rules. Numero uno.
[Shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Oh, man.
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER with his finger up.]
NARRATOR: Oops.
[MR. BOTTNER smiles and gestures.]
MR. BOTTNER: Arnold. You have something to say?
[MR. BOTTNER crosses his arms and sits on the edge of his desk.]
[Shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: No, I-I...
[Wider shot from behind KEVIN of MR. BOTTNER. He looks around the class.]
MR. BOTTNER: Oh, come on. Share it with the class. I'm sure it's pretty amusing - you being such a...funny guy.
[Shot of KEVIN looking around.]
MR. BOTTNER [V/O]: Come on, Arnold...
[Closer shot of MR. BOTTNER.]
MR. BOTTNER: Don't you think you're funny?
[Shot of KEVIN. He glances off, then back.]
KEVIN: No. Not really...
[Close shot of MR. BOTTNER.]
MR. BOTTNER: Oh, sure you are...you're a regular Jose Jimenez.
[MR. BOTTNER smiles and looks around.]
MR. BOTTNER: I'm sure the rest of the class wouldn't mind...waiting...even if we have to stay after school to listen to your joke.
[Shot of KEVIN sighing as students groan.]
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER. He nods.]
MR. BOTTNER: I'm sure it'll be worth it.
[Shot of KEVIN. The camera zooms in slowly. KEVIN looks around.]
NARRATOR: And as Bottner turned an entire class of tenth-graders against me, I realized something. My nightmare had come true - it was the first day of high school, and I was...completely, and utterly...alone.
Fade to
NARRATOR: After the first day at McKinley, I was lost. But as the week wore on...
[Shot of KEVIN. The camera moves sideways slowly to reveal STUART behind him.]
NARRATOR: The true significance of high school became more clear to me.
STUART: Wow, you really flattened that little kid back there. That must have cost you ten points.
KEVIN: I know, Stuart! I know...
NARRATOR: For instance, where else would they give you a back-seat driver, for driver education?
STUART: Boy, isn't high school great? Ya know, they're gonna have an assembly next week.
[KEVIN turns around toward STUART.]
KEVIN: Stuart. We're coming up to a 4-way stop sign. Can we cut the small-talk?
[KEVIN turns forward.]
STUART: Well, yeah, sure...
[KEVIN turns toward him quickly.]
KEVIN: Stuart!
STUART: You might want to watch out for that truck!
[KEVIN turns forward, and looks surprised.]
KEVIN: Whoa!
[KEVIN swerves violently.]
[Shot from behind KEVIN of the screen.]
NARRATOR: But traffic wasn't my only problem.
Cut to
MR. BOTTNER: Pathetic...fair...adequate...putrid...
[MR. BOTTNER pauses next to KEVIN.]
MR. BOTTNER: Arnold! You're gonna have to do yours over.
[He tosses KEVIN's paper down on KEVIN's desk.]
[Shot of KEVIN looking at his paper. MR. BOTTNER continues to hand out papers.]
MR. BOTTNER: Passable...marginal...
[KEVIN frowns.]
KEVIN: Wait a minute, wait a minute.
MR. BOTTNER: You have a comment?
KEVIN: Yeah. Why do I have to do mine over again?
MR. BOTTNER: I'm glad you asked me that question.
[MR. BOTTNER looks down, and takes a step toward KEVIN.]
MR. BOTTNER: I can't read your writing. Your margins are off. And you didn't put the date in the top righthand corner. [Gestures] Bottner's Rules.
[Close shot of KEVIN frowning.]
KEVIN: But I spent all night on this report.
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER.]
MR. BOTTNER: Now that's funny.
[MR. BOTTNER laughs and walks away.]
[Close shot of KEVIN. He frowns and looks off.]
NARRATOR: My ego was taking a beating.
Cut to
[PAUL shoots and makes a basket.]
NARRATOR: Beat the pants off my best friend at basketball.
[Closer shot of PAUL and KEVIN. PAUL tosses the ball to KEVIN.]
PAUL: Three - zip. You're ball.
KEVIN: I can count, Paul.
NARRATOR: Ungrateful dork!
[PAUL frowns.]
PAUL: Hey, what's buggin' you?
KEVIN: Nothing.
[KEVIN tosses the ball to PAUL.]
KEVIN: Let's play!
[Close shot of PAUL frowning, and tossing the ball back.]
NARRATOR: No way I was gonna to let this bozo know I needed help.
[KEVIN looks at PAUL's shirt, and frowns.]
NARRATOR: I was gonna keep my emotions to myself.
KEVIN: That sweatshirt makes you look like a geek.
[PAUL looks down at his shirt.]
NARRATOR: Yep, better I should just insult the guy.
[KEVIN starts to dribble the ball.]
[Wider shot of the driveway as PAUL steals the ball and makes a layup.]
[Closer shot of PAUL tossing the ball to KEVIN.]
PAUL: Four - zip.
KEVIN: I said I can count, OK?!
PAUL: OK, OK...
[They check the ball.]
[Wide shot of KEVIN dribbling past PAUL, who falls down.]
PAUL: Oh..
[Close shot of KEVIN retrieving the ball, and turning around. He smiles.]
[Close shot of PAUL dusting himself off.]
PAUL: No basket. Foul!
[Close shot of KEVIN. He frowns.]
KEVIN: What do you mean, foul?
[Close shot of PAUL.]
PAUL: You charged.
[Close shot of KEVIN frowning.]
KEVIN: I didn't touch you!
[PAUL frowns and takes the ball.]
PAUL: I'm taking it out of bounds.
KEVIN: No way!
[PAUL turns to KEVIN.]
PAUL: Kev. A rule's a rule.
[KEVIN frowns.]
KEVIN: God, Paul - a rule's a rule? You should hear yourself. All I hear all day is - rules! Don't walk here, don't...don't be late, you margins are too wide...don't talk, don't think, don't breathe.
[Close shot of PAUL.]
PAUL: What are you talking about?
KEVIN: I'm talking about...high school.
[PAUL looks on, perplexed.]
KEVIN: Junior high used to be so great, and now...now we're like that stuff underneath the refrigerator, ya know?
[PAUL looks off.]
NARRATOR: OK, it just slipped out.
[Shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: The way I saw it, I had a right to expect a little sympathy.
[Shot of PAUL looking at KEVIN. He shrugs.]
NARRATOR: A gesture of support.
PAUL: I don't know - I kinda like my prep school.
[KEVIN looks at PAUL.]
KEVIN: Really...?
PAUL: Really!
[Shot of KEVIN.]
[PAUL shoots a jump-shot.]
[KEVIN looks behind him and then looks back.]
[PAUL hold up five fingers.]
PAUL: Five - zip.
Cut to
[Shot of KEVIN on the couch, eating from a bag.]
NARRATOR: So much for sympathy. I hit the couch.
[JACK crosses in front of KEVIN, sits down, and sighs.]
[They look at each other.]
[Close shot of JACK.]
JACK: Hnnnn....
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Hnn.
[Wider shot of both of them.]
NARRATOR: It was the best conversation I'd had in days.
[KEVIN passes the bag to JACK.]
Cut to
NARRATOR: Friday afternoon. One week down, six hundred to go.
WINNIE: Kevin, wait up!
KEVIN: Oh! Hi, Winnie.
[KEVIN pauses, and WINNIE catches up.]
WINNIE: Where have you been?
KEVIN: Around...
WINNIE: I'm sorry about lunch the other day.
KEVIN: That's OK - no problem.
[WINNIE taps KEVIN sleeve.]
WINNIE: Are you alright?
KEVIN: Yeah! I just expected this place to be different, you know?
[Close shot of WINNIE. She smiles.]
WINNIE: Give it some time...it'll get better!
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
WINNIE [V/O]: Trust me! It's gonna be great.
[Close shot of WINNIE.]
WINNIE: I'm going this way, so...I'll see you later, OK?
[WINNIE smiles, pats KEVIN's arm, and exits past the camera.]
NARRATOR: And ya know, hearing that voice, seeing that smile, for one moment I actually felt a little twinge of...
WAYNE [V/O]: Oh, Kevie?
[Close shot of Wayne and Wart. Wayne smiles.]
[Shot of Kevin's feet on the seal. The camera pans up to KEVIN. He looks worried.]
NARRATOR: Absolute fear.
[Close shot of Wayne smiling and turning to Wart.]
[Shot of KEVIN as they grab him.]
WAYNE [V/O]: You get - the "boosh".
Cut to
KEVIN: Hey! Hey!
[The camera pans down the stall, showing Wayne and Wart's feet. Sound of - the "boosh". About $3.00 in coins clatters onto the floor.]
NARRATOR: You heard it here. I got - the "boosh".
Cut to
[The camera pans with KEVIN, and he is joined by STUART who has come down the stairs.]
STUART: Hey, Kev, wait up! I want to know if you're going to the football game tonight. You know, afterwards, I hear they're gonna toilet-paper Cheryl Manning's house.
KEVIN: Go away, Stuart.
[They turn a corner. STUART hurries up.]
STUART: You remember her. You hit her in the head with a tetherball once.
KEVIN: Go away!
STUART: Gee, Kev, your hair's all wet. You know, speaking to you as a friend, you should really -
KEVIN: Look, Stuart, don't you get it? We're not friends! Just because you sat behind me in the fourth grade doesn't mean we're friends - we weren't even friends then! So why don't you get someone else to hang around with, OK? Cuz I can't take it any more! You hear me?
[Shot of STUART looking down, as KEVIN hurries away.]
Cut to
NARRATOR: And so it came down to this.
[KEVIN wipes his forehead and fingers, and frowns.]
NARRATOR: I had acted like an idiot, blown up at the wrong guy...
[Wider shot of the class as the bell rings. Students sit down.]
NARRATOR: And now...my only hope was that
my government teacher was dead.
[Shot of the doorway as MR. BOTTNER yanks it open and slams it behind him.]
[Wide shot of the class.]
[MR. BOTTNER frowns as he walks to his desk. He holds his briefcase over the desk and drops it. He holds his finger up.]
MR. BOTTNER: Alright. Here's the deal - I just had to walk five blocks out of my way because some substitute chorale director parked her Pinto in my spot!
[He looks and gestures toward the doorway.]
MR. BOTTNER: Comprende!
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: On further consideration, though, death didn't seem half good enough.
[Close shot of MR. BOTTNER.]
MR. BOTTNER: Therefore, I suggest you open your notebooks, and write me, oh...[looks off]...let's say...[gestures]...five hundred words on the meaning of property rights, in the U.S. Constitution.
[Shot of KEVIN and others opening their notebooks.]
MR. BOTTNER [V/O]: Just for fun.
[Close shot of MR. BOTTNER smiling and holding up a finger.]
MR. BOTTNER: And no talking.
[MR. BOTTNER walks forward, looks at KEVIN off-screen, and frowns.]
MR. BOTTNER: Especially you, Arnold.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
KEVIN: Me?! Look, I never said any -
[Wide shot of MR. BOTTNER standing behind his desk. He raises a finger.]
NARRATOR: Ah-ah-ah...I said no talking.
[Close shot of KEVIN. He sighs.]
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER. He smiles and spreads his arms expansively.]
MR. BOTTNER: Sorry, buddy. You're on detention.
[MR. BOTTNER puts his hands on the desk and leans forward.]
MR. BOTTNER: The whole week.
[Close shot of KEVIN looking surprised.]
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER looking at KEVIN off-screen as he pulls out his chair and sits down.]
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
MR. BOTTNER [V/O]: Let's move it, amigos!
[Close shot of MR. BOTTNER getting things out of his briefcase.]
NARRATOR: And I don't know, maybe it was all that talk about the Constitution.
[Close shot of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: In any event, at that moment, I'd made up my mind.
[KEVIN looks down at his paper.]
[Close shot of the notebook, then of KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: It was time for a declaration of independence of my own.
[Close shot in slow-motion of KEVIN ripping the page, with sound effects.]
[Very close profile shot of MR. BOTTNER pursing his lips and blinking.]
[Shot of KEVIN ripping the page.]
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER frowning.]
[Shot of KEVIN ripping the page.]
[MR. BOTTNER makes a face.]
[Shot of KEVIN ripping out the bottom of the page.]
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER looking toward the class as he stands up.]
MR. BOTTNER: Who did that?
[Close shot of KEVIN. He is holding up the paper, and looks surprised.]
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER standing behind his desk. He is frowning and pointing his finger at KEVIN off-screen.]
MR. BOTTNER: It was you Arnold, wasn't it?
[Close shot of KEVIN. He looks at MR. BOTTNER, then turns toward STUART off-screen.]
NARRATOR: But sitting there...
[Close shot of STUART. He frowns and looks at KEVIN off-screen.]
[Shot of KEVIN holding the paper.]
NARRATOR: Holding that paper, I just didn't care anymore. If I was alone, fine - I'd go it alone.
[Close shot of STUART ripping out his page.]
[Close shot of MR. BOTTNER. He squints and looks at the class off-screen.]
[Close shot of KEVIN looking at STUART in surprise.]
NARRATOR: Only suddenly...
[Close shot of STUART. He smiles a little and looks down.]
NARRATOR: I wasn't.
[Close shot of KEVIN looking at STUART. He smiles.]
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER standing behind his desk, looking at the class.]
[Shot of GRUTNER as he rips out a page.]
[Shot of CALLIO as he rips out a page.]
[Shot of others ripping out a page.]
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER. The camera rolls in as he crosses his arms and looks around the students.]
[Shot of more students ripping out a page.]
[Shot of MR. BOTTNER twitching and jerking a little.]
[Shot of the students. The all are holding up a page. The camera pans across STUART and KEVIN.]
NARRATOR: Maybe it was futile, maybe not. It really didn't matter. For that one moment, we'd found a common voice...
[Close shot of MR. BOTTNER. He smiles tightly and nods as he looks over the class off-screen.]
NARRATOR: A common bond, against a common enemy.
[Shot of the students. The camera pulls back slowly.]
NARRATOR: And, for that one moment, it was a sweet victory.
[The camera pulls back past MR. BOTTNER, as he looks at the students.]
Fade to
[Fade to shot of toilet-paper hanging from trees. The camera pans down to KEVIN, who is holding a roll, and looking up.]
NARRATOR: That first week of high school, as I watched our class band together.
[KEVIN backs up, and is joined by STUART. They each throw the rolls up.]
NARRATOR: I realized something about these strangers I'd just met. Strangers I hardly knew. Strangers who were just like me.
[Close shot of MR. BOTTNER's mailbox as hands wrap toilet-paper around it.]
NARRATOR: We were all sharing the same feelings. The same fears, the same loneliness.
[Wide shot of the group of students running off.]
NARRATOR: We were just starting out, and there was only one direction to go. So we went - together.
Fade to