The Wonder Years - Transcript

Episode 11: "Just Between You and Me . . . and Kirk and Paul and Carla and Becky"

Written by Matthew Carlson
Transcribed by Ken Stephenson
Additions by Kyle Gittins
Edited, additions and captures by Peter Reynders

OPENING TITLES

[A classic "Star Trek" episode is showing on a black-and-white television.]

CAPTAIN KIRK: There she is. That's the one. What have you done with Spock's brain? What have you--AAGGHHH!

[An alien woman presses a button on her armband, and the Star Trek men fall, and writhe on the ground.]


INT. ARNOLDS' BASEMENT

[Shot of PAUL, CARLA, BECKY, and  KEVIN sitting on the couch watching television.]

[Shot of KEVIN hesitantly putting his arm around BECKY.]

NARRATOR: When you're twelve years old you've got a lot of strange new territory to explore. For Paul and me, that meant the basement with Carla Healey and Becky Slater.

[Close shot of BECKY and KEVIN watching TV.]

NARRATOR: Paul and I weren't the world's greatest make-out experts, but I figured all I had to do was wait for the sign from Becky.

[A toothpaste commercial comes on TV. BECKY turns to KEVIN and kisses him.]

NARRATOR: That was the sign.

[The light clicks on. NORMA and WAYNE start to come down the stairs with laundry. KEVIN and BECKY, and PAUL and CARLA, who have also been kissing, straighten up. PAUL flips his glasses on as CARLA reaches for the cookies on the table. They all sit back and act casual.]

KEVIN: Hi, Mom. So, you're doing laundry! [KEVIN gestures.]

NORMA: Yeah, I thought I would.

[WAYNE puts a towel on KEVIN's head.]

WAYNE: You're folding, Kevin.

[NORMA takes towel off Kevin's head.]

[Close up of NORMA. She peers at KEVIN's neck.]

NORMA: Kevin, what's that on you're neck?

NARRATOR: Mom, be cool.

KEVIN: Oh this? It's--it's--it's a bug bite.

[Shot of other three on couch.]

NARRATOR: Ugh, it was embarrassing for everyone.

[WAYNE walks over to KEVIN.]

WAYNE: Hmmm...

[WAYNE claps his hands together in preparation.]

NARRATOR: Almost everyone.

[WAYNE kneels behind the couch, and pushes KEVIN's head over to look at the hickey. KEVIN struggles futilely.]

WAYNE: I don't know, Mom. Looks to me as though it just might be ... a monstro-hickey...

[Shot of NORMA in laundry-room.]

WAYNE: .. a love bite, a big...

[Shot of the others on couch looking glum.]

WAYNE: ...juicy ... lip burn.

[WAYNE stands up and smiles.]

WAYNE: But that's just a guess.

[WAYNE makes kissing noises.]

[NORMA comes out of laundry with the hamper.]

NORMA [to WAYNE]: Take this upstairs.

[WAYNE takes hamper from NORMA. He exits making kissing sounds.]

[NORMA inspects the seating arrangements of the kids on the couch.]

NORMA [to KEVIN and his friends]: Why don't you kids come upstairs and watch TV?

KEVIN: Uh--Star Trek's almost over.

[NORMA looks at KEVIN.]

NORMA: As soon as it is.

KEVIN: Okay.

[NORMA goes upstairs.]

CAPTAIN KIRK [on TV]: . . . Dr. McCoy, Engineer Scott, and myself were taken prisoner inside a highly complex civilization...

[Shot of CARLA, BECKY and KEVIN.]

BECKY [to KEVIN]: A bug bite?

KEVIN: Well, what did you want me to say? [Gestures.]

BECKY [smiles]: I'll give you a bug bite.

[BECKY giggles, wrestles with KEVIN, gets on top of him and kisses his neck. CARLA gets on top of PAUL and kisses him.]

KEVIN [V/O]: Wait. Get off! Becky!

PAUL [V/O]: No, no!

[Shot of both couples on the couch. They make out.]

NARRATOR: And so the days passed, carefree and lighthearted. Paul and I seemed to have found a truce in the war of the sexes. Everything was simple and fun.

[Another scene from "Star Trek" is shown: An alien woman presses a button on her wristband. The men are driven painfully to the ground.]

NARRATOR: In other words, it had to end.

KIRK [V/O]: Hey, Kevin. Come here for a second. I want to ask you something.

Cut to


INT. DAY. SCHOOL HALLWAY.

[Shot of KIRK near lockers.]

[Shot of KEVIN at his locker. He closes his locker and turns around, surprised.]

KEVIN: Huh?

KIRK: I want to ask you a favor.

[KIRK motions for KEVIN to come over.]

NARRATOR: Kirk McCray wanted to ask me a favor? [KEVIN walks down hallway.] Kirk McCray who had stolen Winnie way from me? Who had humiliated me? Defeated me? Ruined my life? Eh, but I was over that. I had Becky and--

[Shot of KIRK.]

KIRK: I need you to talk to Winnie for me.

NARRATOR: What?!

KEVIN: What?! [He frowns.]

KIRK: I need you to talk to Winnie for me. I mean, well, I understand if you don't want to.

NARRATOR: No, Kirk, I want to talk to Winnie Cooper for you almost as much as I want to be stabbed through the heart fifty times with a dull butter knife.

KIRK: But, I mean, she'll take it better coming from you. She really likes you.

NARRATOR [excited]: She does?

KEVIN [restraining his excitement]: She does?

KIRK: Well, yeah. I mean, you guys are really good friends, aren't you?

KEVIN: Yeah, I guess so.

KIRK: So, do you think you can just ask her if--if she still likes me?

KEVIN: I thought you guys were going steady.

[KIRK steps back.]

KIRK: Oh, man. I don't know what's goin' on. I mean, she didn't say anything, but it's just the way she says it. You know what I mean? She's gonna dump me, I know it.

NARRATOR [even more excited]: Really?

KEVIN [trying to sound sympathetic]: Really?

KIRK: I don't know. She didn't say anything to you, did she?

KEVIN: Me? No. I mean, I hardly ever talk to her any more.

KIRK: Do you think you can just ask her for me?

KEVIN: Kirk, I don't think it'll be such a great idea.

KIRK: Please. I mean, I don't know what else to do. You know, I mean, I've liked girls before and all, but not like I like her. There's just something about her. You know what I mean?

NARRATOR: Yeah.

[Shot of KEVIN thinking.]

KEVIN: Yeah. [Looking concerned:] But I just don't think--

KIRK: If it's a hassle, you know, forget it.

[KIRK turns, pretending to drop the subject.)
 

[Shot of KEVIN deliberating.]

NARRATOR: Wait a minute; I could do this. What's the big deal? Winnie Cooper's yesterday's news. Anyway, I had What's-her-name . . . uh, Becky. Yeah, I had Becky.

[KEVIN sighs.]

KEVIN: Kirk, wait a minute.

KIRK: You'll do it?

KEVIN [resigned]: Yes, I'll do it.

KIRK: Thanks, Kev-bo.

[KIRK pats KEVIN's shoulder and walks off.]

NARRATOR: "Kev-bo"?

[KEVIN mouths the word as the NARRATOR speaks it.]

Cut to


INT. DAY. SCHOOL CAFETERIA.

[PAUL and KEVIN are eating lunch together.]

PAUL: You're gonna what?!

KEVIN: He just wants me to ask Winnie if she still, you know, still likes him?

PAUL: You can't do that.

KEVIN: Yes, I can. 

PAUL: Kevin, we're talking about Winnie Cooper here. I mean, get real.

KEVIN: Well, what's your point?

PAUL: Look, I just know that if Carla dumped me, I could never go and talk to her about liking the guy she dumped me for.

[KEVIN gives PAUL a look.]

KEVIN: She didn't dump me, Paul.

PAUL: Especially for somebody like Kirk McCray. 

KEVIN: It doesn't bother me, okay?

PAUL: Somebody older who's, like, twice my size.

KEVIN: What difference does that make?

PAUL: Who's got muscles out to here [gestures] and a dark tan in the middle of the winter.

KEVIN [screaming in frustration]: Well, maybe I'm not like you, Paul.

[The cafeteria gets quiet. KEVIN notices people staring and lowers his voice almost to a whisper.]

KEVIN: Maybe I'm just a little more secure than that, okay?

[KEVIN angrily picks up his lunch tray, spilling the milk carton.]

PAUL: Yeah, sure.

[KEVIN slams down the tray again, losing most of the rest of what's on it.]

KEVIN: There's no way that I can't talk to Winnie. We're still friends. All I have to do is go up to her and say, "Winnie..."

Cut to


EXT. DAY. SCHOOL ATHLETIC FIELD.

[Close up shot of WINNIE who is wearing her field-hockey uniform. She throws her hair back, making her a little dizzy.] [Harp music.]

 

[Shot of KEVIN standing a short distance away, looking at her.]

KEVIN: Uh.

WINNIE: Hi, Kevin.

[Shot of WINNIE swinging one leg up onto the picnic table in front of her.]

KEVIN: Uh.

[Closer shot of WINNIE's leg as she massages her calf.]

NARRATOR [whispering, as the voice of temptation]: Grab her. Squeeze her. Kiss her on the lips. 

KEVIN [turning around to answer this inner voice]: No!

[WINNIE looks up.]

WINNIE: What?

KEVIN: Nothing. I ran into Kirk McCray this afternoon.

WINNIE: Oh?

KEVIN: Yeah.

WINNIE: I didn't see him today.

KEVIN: Really?

[Shot of KEVIN.]

[Shot of WINNIE's leg.]

WINNIE: Yeah.

[KEVIN shrugs.]

KEVIN: He's a pretty nice guy.

WINNIE: Yeah.

KEVIN [sighing, aware he can put it off no longer]: Kirk wants to know if you still like him.

WINNIE: Huh?

KEVIN: Kirk wants to know if you still like him.

[Shot of KEVIN moving closer and standing next to WINNIE. Kids play on the field behind them.]

WINNIE: Why doesn't he ask me himself?

[Shot of KEVIN thinking.]

NARRATOR: Because he's a coward and a fool, not worthy of your--

KEVIN: Uh, because . . . 
I guess, um, he really likes you, and he doesn't want to make you feel weird.

NARRATOR: He just wants to make me feel weird.

[Shot of WINNIE.]

WINNIE: I don't know. Do you mean do I "like him" like him, or do I just like him?

KEVIN: The first one, I guess.

WINNIE: Well, I like Kirk. But I'm not sure I "like him" like him.

KEVIN: Oh. Are you mad at him?

WINNIE: Not really mad at him. 

KEVIN: Oh, so you like him.

WINNIE: I didn't say I liked him. I said I liked him.

KIRK [V/O]: Let me have that one more time...

Cut to


INT. DAY. SCHOOL HALLWAY.

KIRK: ...slowly.

[Close shot of KIRK. He looks confused.]

KEVIN: She's not mad at you. She likes you. She's not sure if she "likes you" likes you, but she likes you. When she first liked you she "liked you" liked you, unless she just thought she liked you when she really just liked you.

[Shot of KIRK, without any expression.]

KEVIN: But she likes you.

[KEVIN smiles.]
 

[KIRK is dejected.]

KIRK: I knew it. I'm a dead man.

KEVIN: Not necessari--

KIRK: Come on, you heard her. What am I gonna do?

KEVIN: I don't know.

KIRK: She's waiting for me to make the right move, isn't she?

KEVIN: Maybe.

KIRK: What's the right move?

[KEVIN is starting to get annoyed.]

KEVIN: I don't know.

KIRK: Should I give her something?

KEVIN: I don't know. You could try.

KIRK: Yeah? Like what?

KEVIN: I don't know!

KIRK: Well, what would you give her?

KEVIN: Look, Kirk! Maybe you should just try and figure this out by yourself. I'm not the best guy to be giving advice about this.

KIRK: Wait!

KEVIN: Look, I've got to get to class.

KIRK: How about this?

[KIRK holds up his patch.]

KEVIN: What is it?

KIRK: My all-star patch.

KEVIN: Your all-star patch?

KIRK: Yeah, she could, you know, sew it on her sweater or jacket. Girls do that, don't they?

KEVIN: How am I supposed to know?

KIRK [coaxingly]: Kev-bo.

KEVIN: Yeah?

KIRK: Will you give this to Winnie for me?

[KEVIN is aggravated.]

KEVIN: Kirk, come on.

KIRK: Please? This is the last time I'll ask, I swear.

KEVIN: I can't.

KIRK: Look, if it was you and you really liked Winnie Cooper, I'd do it for you.

WINNIE [V/O]: What am I supposed to do with this?

Cut to


EXT. DAY. COOPERS' FRONT YARD.

[Shot of WINNIE.]

[Shot of KEVIN.]

KEVIN: You could sew it on your jacket or sweater. I don't know. [He shrugs.]

[Shot of both in front yard. WINNIE wears gray sweat-pants under her field-hockey uniform. Some gardening tools are nearby.]

WINNIE: I can't do that.

KEVIN: It's just a way of showing friendship.

WINNIE: Come on, Kevin. You know what it means.

KEVIN: Yeah.

WINNIE: Kevin?

KEVIN: Yeah?

WINNIE: I think I have to break up with him.

KEVIN [again trying to sound sympathetic]: Really?

WINNIE: I think so.

NARRATOR: This may be none of my business, Winnie, but I think you're doing the right thing.

WINNIE: I mean, there's no use dragging it out.

[KEVIN nods in agreement.]

NARRATOR: You are so right.

WINNIE: We can still be friends.

NARRATOR: Absolutely.

[KEVIN nods.]

WINNIE: You know, I really tried.

NARRATOR: Hey, when it's over . . .

Cut to


INT. DAY. SCHOOL HALLWAY.

[Shot of KEVIN handing KIRK the patch.]

KIRK: It's over?

KEVIN: I'm sorry.

KIRK: I knew it. She likes someone else.

KEVIN: I don't think she likes someone else.

KIRK: Did she say she didn't like someone else?

KEVIN: Well, she didn't say she didn't. Look, she said she still wanted to be friends.

[KIRK looks horrified.]

KIRK: She said that?!

KEVIN: Yeah.

NARRATOR [truly sympathetic this time]: I know, I know.

[KIRK begins banging his head against the lockers. KEVIN looks on in disbelief.] 

KEVIN: Kirk, get a grip on yourself.

[KIRK continues to bang his head.]
 

[KEVIN steps away but stops to ponder.]

NARRATOR: Now, Kirk raises an interesting question. What if she does like someone else?

[KEVIN smiles in thought.]

NARRATOR: Maybe that's what this whole thing is about. But how can you find out without--

Cut to


INT. DAY. SCHOOL CAFETERIA.

[Close up of KEVIN.]

KEVIN: Paul-bo!

[Shot of PAUL seated at a table. KEVIN stands.]

PAUL: "Paul-bo"?

[KEVIN excitedly spins a chair up to the table backwards, and sits down.]

KEVIN: I need you to ask Winnie something for me. 

[Guitarist Snuffy Walden plays an ironic lick.]

[Commercial break or The scene shifts to slightly "later".]

KEVIN: Come on, Paul. If you liked Winnie, I'd do it for you.

PAUL: You would not. You'd be mad at me.

KEVIN: Come on, Paul. What's the big deal?

PAUL: Well, I can't go up to Winnie and just ask her if she likes you.

KEVIN: You don't. First, you say "Hi, Winnie!". And she says...

[PAUL is silent. KEVIN gestures.]

PAUL: Hi, Paul?

KEVIN: Good! OK... How are you doing?

[PAUL hesitates.]

KEVIN: Fine! You're Fine! [He looks amazed.]

PAUL: Fine. I'm fine.

KEVIN: So, I heard you broke up with Kirk. [He prompts PAUL.]

PAUL: Yeah, I guess I did.

KEVIN: Is it because you still like Kevin?

PAUL: Kevin? Kevin Arnold? [He giggles.] You must be joking! [He laughs.]

[KEVIN throws down a french fry, and stands up.]

KEVIN: Forget it. Forget the whole thing. I thought you were my friend.

PAUL: Take it easy. I'll talk to her. [Gestures.]

KEVIN: Never mind.

PAUL: I'll talk to her.

KEVIN: Yeah?

PAUL: Sure.

KEVIN: Great. [Long pause. KEVIN smiles and sits back down.] What are you going to say to her?

PAUL: Trust me.

[PAUL takes a long, slurpy, last sip through his straw.]

[KEVIN makes a face.]

Cut to


INT. DAY. SCHOOL HALLWAY.

[Shot of KEVIN walking up the hallway.]

NARRATOR: Things were falling into place. Kirk and Winnie had broken up. And why? Because she'd never really forgotten me, [happy guitar music begins] all those golden moments we shared, our first kiss. I still remember the way she looked. She looked . . .

[KEVIN sees WINNIE and KIRK kissing in the hallway. The guitar music stops as if the plug has been phas been pulled.]

NARRATOR: ... just like that.

KEVIN [V/O]: What's goin' on, McCray?


EXT. DAY. ATHLETIC FIELD.

[Shot of KIRK catching a football.]

KIRK: What do you mean?

[Shot of KEVIN standing near KIRK, who continues to play catch. With off-screen partner.]

KEVIN: I thought you and Winnie broke up. Didn't I make that clear?

KIRK: You did.

KEVIN: Then I saw you guys making out.

KIRK: I know. Isn't that weird?

KEVIN: Then what's going on?

KIRK: I don't know. I can't figure it out myself. I asked Eric Antonio to ask her for me.

KEVIN: Eric Antonio?

KIRK: Yeah, I hope you don't mind.

KEVIN: I can't believe this.

[PAUL runs up between KIRK and KEVIN.]

PAUL: Kevin!

[PAUL looks at KIRK, and takes a couple steps away.]

PAUL: Come here for a second.

KEVIN: Did you ask Winnie for me?

KIRK: Why would he talk to Winnie?

PAUL: I couldn't talk to Winnie. She was with Eric Antonio all afternoon. I think he likes her.

KIRK and KEVIN: What?!

ERIC [V/O]: I told you...

Cut to


INT. DAY. SCHOOL HALLWAY.

[Shot of ERIC in front of lockers.]

ERIC: I told you, all we did was talk about you. 

[Shot of KIRK and KEVIN.]

KEVIN: "You" who?

ERIC: Both of you.

KIRK: Both of who?

KEVIN: Look, will you just answer the question? Do you like her or not?

ERIC: Well, sure I like her.

KEVIN: Well, do you "like her" like her?

ERIC: Not like you like her.

KIRK [to KEVIN]: You like her?

ERIC: I thought everybody knew that.

KIRK: You mean you "like her" like her?

KEVIN: Yeah, I like her. I liked before you liked her.

KIRK: You mean you went to talk to her for me when all this time you liked her? [To ERIC:] Now you like her? Gee, is there anybody else that likes Winnie Cooper I should know about? Paul?

[Shot of PAUL.]

PAUL: Well, she does have those tiny little freckles on her nose.

[Shot of other boys frowning.]

PAUL: A joke! A joke!

KEVIN: Well, who does she like?

ERIC: I don't know. She likes you both.

KIRK: You mean she "likes us" likes us?

PAUL: Well, who does she like better?

KIRK: Yeah, who does she like better?

KEVIN: Yeah, who does she like better?

ERIC: I don't know. I'll ask her tonight; we're going skating.

KEVIN, KIRK, and PAUL: What?!

CARLA [V/O]: Hey, Kevin.

[Shot of CARLA.]

CARLA: Becky Slater wants to know if you're mad at her.

[Guitar music begins.]

[Shot of KEVIN walking in the hallway.]

NARRATOR: Becky. Poor little Becky. In all this confusion I'd forgotten all about her. But now there was only one thing to do. I had to tell her the truth, and not through any go-between but face-to-face, like a man.

[KEVIN walks into a classroom and sees BECKY sitting alone, drawing.]

NARRATOR: Oh, G**, look at her.

[Shot of BECKY sitting alone in the middle of the room. She is drawing.]

NARRATOR: Poor sweet flower of a girl.

[KEVIN walks up to her.]

[Shot of BECKY. Shot of her butterfly drawing.]

[Shot of KEVIN.]

NARRATOR: G**, I hated to hurt her. Well, just get it over with.

KEVIN: Becky, we have to break up. I still like Winnie Cooper. We can still be friends, though. 

[BECKY half-turns then turns back. KEVIN pats BECKY's shoulder.]

NARRATOR: I know, I know.

[BECKY punches KEVIN in the stomach as she stands up.]

BECKY: Oh yeah, "friends"!? [Another punch in the stomach.] I'll give you "friends."

[BECKY slugs KEVIN's chin, knocking him to the ground, then storms out of the room.]

[Close up from above of KEVIN lying on the floor, slightly dazed.]

NARRATOR: I guess that was when it first occurred to me: I really didn't understand girls. I mean--and let me be absolutely clear about what I mean--[slowly and emphatically now:] I really didn't understand girls.

[Music reminiscent of "Star Trek" begins.]

[KEVIN, PAUL, KIRK, and ERIC, all dressed in Star Trek uniforms, get up from lying down on the floor.]

WINNIE [V/O, as alien woman]: Interesting specimens.

[WINNIE, CARLA, and BECKY, dressed as Star Trek women, walk up.]

KEVIN [as Captain Kirk]: Spock, where are we?

PAUL [as Spock]: It appears, Captain, that we are on an alien planet, inhabited by strange beings with long hair and very short skirts. [He smiles.]

[Shot of the women.]

NARRATOR: Well, hey, since I was having the fantasy anyway, I figured I might as well do it right.

KEVIN: Who are you? What do want from us?

[WINNIE presses a button on her armband and sends KEVIN reeling backward.] 

PAUL: Highly illogical question, Captain. These are alien beings. They think and act in ways you cannot hope to understand.

KEVIN: Well, what can we do? There must be some way of fighting back. Bones? Scotty?

[KIRK, as Bones, and ERIC, as Scotty, shrug their shoulders.]

PAUL: I'm afraid we have no choice but to submit to their every whim. We are their captives. They control us completely.

[KEVIN takes a step forward.]

KEVIN: No, this can't be. We're human beings. Can't you understand that? We're men!

[WINNIE presses a button on her armband again, and the four boys fall to the ground writhing in pain.]

KEVIN: We're men! Men!

[Star Trek music ends.]

[Close up shot of KEVIN's head, lying down with his eyes closed.]

PAUL [V/O]: Hey, Kev!

[KEVIN opens his eyes groggily.]

KEVIN: Huh?

[Shot of PAUL's head from KEVIN's perspective. PAUL appears upside down.]
 
 
PAUL: You okay?
 
[Paul Simon's "I Am a Rock" begins and continues throughout.]
Fade to


INT. NIGHT. KEVIN'S BEDROOM.
 
[Shot of KEVIN lying on his bed in darkness.]
 
A winter's day . . .
NARRATOR: Well, that night I caught up on something I'd been needing to do for a long time. I just shut the door and lay down on the bed and put in two hours of good, solid, adolescent self-pity... 
 
[Car lights are seen shining on KEVIN's curtain.] Gazing from my window
To the streets below
[KEVIN looks out his window toward Winnie's house.] On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow
I am a rock
NARRATOR: ...until Winnie got home.
 
I am an island.
[Shot of JACK watching TV. KEVIN walks through the living room toward the front door. JACK turns toward KEVIN.]

JACK: Where are you goin'?

KEVIN: Just over to Winnie's for a minute.

JACK: It's a little late, Kevin.

KEVIN: Just for a minute.

JACK: Can't this wait til tomorrow?

NARRATOR: A reasonable question, but at the moment I was not a reasonable man. 
 

KEVIN: No, it can't
.
I have no need of friendship
Friendship causes pain
JACK [with an understanding smile]: Okay.
[KEVIN steps outside.]
 
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain
I am a rock
[KEVIN sees ERIC walk WINNIE up to her porch, then crosses the street.]
 
I am an island
 
[KEVIN crosses the street where ERIC approaches him.]
 
ERIC: Kev-bo. [Music fades out.]

KEVIN: Eric-bo.

ERIC: Were you at the skating rink tonight? I didn't see you.

KEVIN: I wasn't there.

ERIC: Hey, you want to hear what Winnie said about you?

KEVIN: No.

ERIC: Okay. Well, I guess I'll see you in school.

KEVIN: See ya.

[ERIC walks out of shot.]

[KEVIN walks up to WINNIE's porch, where she is still standing.]

WINNIE: Hi. [She smiles.]

KEVIN: Hi.

[Shot of both shivering.]

WINNIE: Hi. It's cold. It almost feels like it might snow.

KEVIN: Yeah. Look, Winnie, what are you doing?

[WINNIE looks puzzled.]

WINNIE: What do you mean?

KEVIN: What are you doing with Eric? [Gestures.]

WINNIE [defensively]: We went skating. He's nice to talk to. He's just a friend.

[KEVIN is irritated.]

KEVIN: Yeah, what about Kirk?

WINNIE: I broke up with Kirk.

KEVIN: Yeah, I saw the way you broke up with him. [WINNIE seems not to understand, so KEVIN tries to refresh her memory.] In the hallway?

WINNIE: Oh. I don't know. I guess that wasn't such a good idea.

KEVIN: You guess?

WINNIE: Well, what business is it of yours anyway?

[Angrily, WINNIE turns around and walks toward the front door.]

KEVIN: I'm your friend, that's what.

[Shot of WINNIE turning toward KEVIN.]

WINNIE: Well, if you're my friend, then why are you being like this?

KEVIN: Like what?

WINNIE: Like...

[WINNIE is exasperated.]

WINNIE: ...oh, I don't know...

[WINNIE sits down on a bench, dejected.]

[Slow, reflective guitar chord.]

KEVIN: Look, don't get all upset. [Another chord is slowly rolled.] I have to ask you something.

WINNIE: What?

KEVIN: I just have to know if you like me or not. [Long pause. Shot of WINNIE.] And don't give any of that "like me" like me stuff.

[Steady guitar music begins.]

NARRATOR: Well, that was it: a straightforward, face-to-face, yes-or-no question. And I was going to stand there until I got my answer.

[Shot of WINNIE.]

WINNIE: I don't know.

[Shot of KEVIN getting upset.]

KEVIN: "I don't know"! What do you mean you don't know?

WINNIE: I mean I don't know. I really don't know. [On the verge of tears:] I wish everyone would just leave me alone. [Looking at KEVIN, softly:] I don't know what I'm doing.

[Shot of KEVIN looking at WINNIE.]

NARRATOR: This was something new. I mean, I always figured girls knew exactly what they wanted. They knew; they had a plan. Or maybe they didn't.

[KEVIN looks puzzled and concerned.]

NARRATOR: Maybe they were just as confused as we were. Isn't that great?

[KEVIN starts to smile, then frowns.]

NARRATOR: It--it's horrible. They don't know either. That means nobody knows.

KEVIN: You mean you really don't know?

WINNIE: No.

KEVIN: Oh.

[WINNIE looks at KEVIN.]

KEVIN: Well, I'm sorry.

WINNIE: What for?

[KEVIN pauses in thought, then shrugs.]

KEVIN: I don't know.

[WINNIE looks up. KEVIN looks at her.]

NARRATOR: As I stood there that cold night, I realized for the first time in a long time that Winnie and I were feeling the same thing.

[Shot of WINNIE sitting on bench, KEVIN standing next to it.]

NARRATOR: We were both completely miserable.

WINNIE: Kevin. [She pats the bench to signal KEVIN to sit down next to her.]

KEVIN: What?

WINNIE: Knock, knock.

KEVIN: Who's there.

WINNIE: Sam and Janet.

KEVIN: Sam and Janet who?

WINNIE [singing to tune of "Some Enchanted Evening"]: Sam and Janet Evening.

[WINNIE smiles. KEVIN is emotionless.]

WINNIE: You're supposed to laugh.

KEVIN: I am.

[WINNIE looks puzzled.]

WINNIE: You are?

KEVIN: Well, maybe I'm not "laughing" laughing. [He smiles.] But I'm laughing.

[Shot of them on bench. Camera starts to pull up and back.]

NARRATOR: Okay, Winnie. Some enchanted evening. [Diana Ross and the Supremes' "Someday We'll Be Together" begins.] We'll see.

SONG:
Someday we'll be together
Say it, say it, say it, say it again
Someday we'll be together

Fade to


CLOSING TITLES

-----------------------------------------------

Opening Titles

Fred Savage, Dan Lauria, Alley Mills, Olivia d'Abo, Jason Hervey, Danica McKellar, Josh Saviano
Created by: Neal Marlens and Carol Black
Supervising Producer: Steve Miner
Producer: Jeffrey Silver
Written by: Matthew Carlson
Directed by: Peter Baldwin

Closing Titles

Executive Producers: Carol Black and Neal Marlens
Associate Producer: Caroline Baron
Executive Story Editor: Matthew Carlson
Story Editor: David M. Stern

Featuring
Crystal McKellar . . . Becky Slater
Michael Landes . . . Kirk McCray
Krista Murphy . . . Carla Healey
Donnie Jeffcoat . . . Eric Antonio

Music by: W.G. Snuffy Walden
Unit Production Manager: Daniel Schneider
First Assistant Director: Bradley Gross
Second Assistant Director: Scott Printz
Casting by: Mary V. Buck (C.S.A.) and Susan Edelman (C.S.A.)
Director of Photography: Mac Ahlberg
Production Designer: Edward L. Parsons
Costume Designer: Ann Somers Major
Set Decorator: Sarah Burdick
Property Masters: Roger Horn, Richard Joffray
Location Manager: Murray Miller
Film Editor: Larry Mills
Sound Mixer: Agamemnon Andrianos
Camera Operator: Philip Holahan
Gaffer: Dennis Bishop
Key Grip: Skip Cook
Construction Coordinators: Roger Kelton, Lee Ranch
Hair Stylist: Jason Joseph Sica
Make-up Artist: Kathy Shorkey
Script Supervisor: Tracey Weddle
Transportation Coordinator: Joel Renfro
Production Accountant: Ed Fink
Production Supervisor: Tammy Ader
Production Coordinator: Robin Greer
Casting Coordinator: Barbara Moya
Assistants to the Producers: Jackie Colden, Ann Wycoff, Rita Hsiao
Post-Production Coordinator: Bruce J. Nachbar
Music Supervisor: John McCullough
Video Coordinator: Barry M. Parker
Music Editor: Jamie Gelb
Supervising Sound Editor: David John West, M.P.S.E.
Post Production Supervisor: Larry Levin
Electronic Laboratory(TM): Pacific Video
Star Trek (R) Courtesy Of: Paramount Pictures Corporation


This transcript was compiled by Ken Stephenson and edited by Peter Reynders. Please mail to reynders@merck.de if you find any errors, or if you have any comments or suggestions.